The wrong colour polyester

England U21 3 v Scotland U21 1
Tournoi Maurice Revello, Semi Final

Played at Stade de Lattre, Aubagne

Wednesday 6 June 2018

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I thoroughly enjoyed that. A win over the Old Enemy. I don't mind saying, Scotland gave it a real go. They were deservedly one up at half time.  Looking along the line as the Scotch lads sang about Edward's Army - some big lads raised on free school milk & porridge. Units.

But, the fucking kitman needs sacking. Scotland in Blue. England, presumably the washing machines ain't working at the team hotel, in Red. The Jock bench includes Scot Gemmill (& I think Malky Mackay). Wearing some sort of training kit/polyester leisure wear. In RED. As Gemmill & the analysts are jumping up & down, giving it the old “Kick It In The Goal” instructions, the lino on the far side just sees a red (ie England) shirt. The Ref has to step in & tell 'em to sit daaarn. Some fella skittles away and eventually comes back with some white bibs from Sports Direct. (Malky can barely get his over his porridge addled frame). Amatuer Hour.

It turns out that new Derby boss Frank Lampard & sidekick Jody Morris were in the VIP Seats. Don't worry. Despite me being in the Cheap Seats, they benefited from my generous greeting (increase volume) - “Welcome to Big Boys Football”.

I love The Championship me.  

Timori, Abraham, Clarke-Salter, Dasilva - all Chelsea products on show for England. Gilmour for Scotland. Maybe Frankie Boy was running his eye over them lot.

But, eyecatcher again was Arsenal's Eddie Nketiah. (Released by Chelsea at age 14, as it goes). He made the equaliser. Got free on the left. Looked & looked again. Picked Connolly out for a tap in. Then bagged two to take it home. Nketiah cut in off the left & curled it in with his right peg. Then, for the third, he came through the middle, one way, then t’other. Put it away with his left. Eye-catching. (He'd hit the post in the first half).

In the first half, Scotland pressed us all the time. There were a couple of throw ins where there was no outlet. So, England basically ended up chucking it away. I felt England were not direct enough. No injection of pace. Nothing incisive. The forwards trying to take too many touches in the box. And, most of those touches were to lose it, rather than control it. Different story in the second half. Immediately, England were not sitting off. Playing further forward. Looking to move it. Nketiah made all that pay off.

Are you familiar with the Grand Randonnee 2013? An urban/suburban walking trail around Greater Marseille & Aix-en-Provence. Set up to mark Marseille being European Capital Of Culture in 2013. Yes. Good. You'll be aware then that it passes through Grans (the Carrier Bag Firm camp for the final group games) and very close to Brasserie de Sulauze near Miramas. But, FFS, if you knew all that, why didn't you warn me that the Beer Garden is closed on Mondays - the day we walked 15 fucking miles to get there & back.

The day was saved by the brewer pulling me a glass of the LA to MARS from the staff keg they keep in the corner of the brewery. Phew.

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