No Jeopardy No Party

England 1 v Czech Republic 0 

EURO 2020, Group D 

Tuesday 22 June 2021 

Played at Wembley 

With my own eyes. I have seen the Czech Firm peak too early. The Carrier Bag Firm are known for their love of proper, full on, dirty sweet Czech Pilseners. So, what better day to try out - PIVO, The Czech Beer Hub on Old Street EC1. Billing itself as the UKs First Independent Czech Beer Pub & Bottle Shop.

Obvs, we were up for anything. Fully expecting some friendly Czech fans to be congregating. When we turned up, half a dozen Beshirted Bohemians were lolloping on the fag break outside. Two or three groups also scattered around the bar. And, a film crew doing Vox Pop filming. 

Half two this. One Czech Crew were already on the fucking firewater chasers. Eyes were met. Nods were exchanged.

"What you got there, sunshine?"

"Plum Brandy"

"Oh, Slivovitz" - I remarked to fully establish my Czech Drinking Credentials.

Piling in they were. Possibly Budvar as the beer of choice. Singing. Backslapping. Mugging for the cameras. Same again barman.

Eventually, the Manager came over to tell them to put a sock in it & wind their necks in. One of them decided someone else in the pub must have complained. As the CBF were the only non football shirt, Lacoste Polo, wearing Herberts in town, he blamed us. The Czech Cheek of it. The upshot of all that was they were cooked by about 4pm & politely binned out. Peaked too early.

There were roughly a dozen on. With a nice bit of that one's gone, replaced with, rotation. All served Czech style. 

Hladinka - nearly a full pint, with a big head of froth.

Snyt - half a pint of ale, half a pint of froth in a pint pot.

Mlíko - fucking ridic, pint pot of froth with some beer in the bottom.

Pivovar Cvikov, Sklar 8°, Glassblowers Lager

Blinding at that Gravity. Nice and sweet up top. But with some bitterness running around as well.

Pivovar Kunratice, Muflon Svetly Lezak 12° za Studena Chmeleny

Lovely & sweet. Like Barley Sugars from the sweetshop.

Bohemia Regent, Prezident (roughly 6% abv)

Billed as a lager. But, noticeably different to the previous two. Malty. And really tasted that abv. A little bit of Fisherman's Friend lozenge in the deep background. Simple to assess. Not as good as the Muflon.

Bohemia Regent, Tmavy Lezak 12°, Dark Lager

I always feel these Dark Lagers are an acquired taste. Although, I do like 'em. That one was not overly malty. Maybe a hint of plum in there somewhere. A good combination of flavours.

So, England win the group. Unbeaten. No goals conceded. And come back next Tuesday. Hopefully, the Carrier Bag Firm & the Horrendous Lemons will all get tickets in the soon to be launched bunfight. I thought we started very brightly again. Like it. Or loathe it. We're a what we have, we hold team. So so important to get an early-ish first goal. Like every other correspondent, when one goes in, I want more. Send a message. Shake the world. But, that's not how it's going to play.

The tournament format is shit anyway. Been playing for 4 months or summat. To get from 24 teams to 16. No Jeopardy. No Party. Reset and see how we feel this time next week.

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