Thursday 9 May 2024

Ryan Oné's Knackers

Sheffield United U21 6 v Crewe Alexandra U21 0 
Professional Development League 
Monday 6 May 2024 
Played at Chesterfield 
SUFC 2023/24 Game #67 

Crewe have got it all on this season at this level. Rock bottom of the North Group. Just 16 points from 27 games. That was a very young side they had out. I spoke to Luca Moore’s Dad. Luca was Midfield #8 for Alex. I've tried to check the Stats. But can't. Moore snr claims his lad is effectively playing twice a week for both the U18s and U21s.

“This is his 53rd game of the season!!!”

That game has been broadcast on the YouTube. So, no point in me going into all the deets. The convincing, Crewe were never in it for a minute, win seals the North Group Title for the Young Blades. Still got one game to play. Sealed that title for the fourth season on the bounce. (Reminder, we NEVER go on to win the National Title.) 

“Maybe this year, yeah…”

There is no promotion to the next level. To play Premier League 2 football, we require the correct license and paperwork for a Category 1 Academy.

In case you ain't heard, the “plans” are for the new Dore training base for the first team. Freeing up facilities at Shirecliffe for a crack at Cat 1 accreditation if we can get all the ducks in a row.

It is also worth saying - that might be it for Chesterfield as an Academy ground for a while. They are back in the EFL me duck. And I doubt they'll want our Academy playing games there next season.

With local non league clubs switching to 4g pitches, which can't be used for Academy games, the pool of places to play is dwindling. Remember we have used York City as a regular ground in the past. And Scunthorpe United and Alfreton Town irregularly.

Be the usual piss poor planning to get Cat 1 Academy accreditation and not have anywhere to fucking play games!!!

Daniel Jebbison started. The plan will have always been to give him 45. And that's what they did. Obvs, I have no idea how it works, but it'd be amazing if some other club were willing to offer Dan terms. With him hardly having kicked a ball. Before the noughts start getting inked in to his salary. But. What do I know?

Daniel looked sharp. So that's a good thing. Sharp and strong. Sure, maybe his opponents were on the young and lightweight side. But, you've still got to shake ‘em off.

I'm wondering whether Sam Curtis might be the right right back at the right time. That's the best game I've seen him have. In earlier Blogs, I've commented on his formulaic positioning. And his five pence piece sized heat map. But, today, playing as a right wing back in a three and two wide, he got about a bit. And, I noticed, very willing to use his left foot.

Ryan Oné man. Fuck sake. He's got a goalscoring knack.

“What Phil? Like Keith Edwards?”

“NO. Not like Keith Edwards of Nazareth. Definitely no. A knack like nothing I've ever seen before.”

He rarely has the ball under control. He's always either knocked it too far in front of him. Or he can't get it out from under his feet. Or he could get a left foot shot off. But goes for the right foot poke. 

Reports that something HASN'T happened are always of great interest to the Carrier Bag Firm.

Ryan Oné HASN'T had the ball under control.

Ryan Oné HASN'T got the fucking thing out from between his feet.

Ryan Oné HASN'T gone with the best option.

Ryan Oné HASN'T missed!!!

There are the known knacks - those are the knacks we know we know.

There are the known unknown knacks - that is to say we know there are some knacks we do not know.

But there are also the unknown unknown knacks. Knacks we don't know we don't know. That is Ryan. Right there.

Don't take that as critical. Take that as confused. But I'm now firmly Team Oné Camp Ryan.

The Neptune Beer Emporium
46 St Helen's St, Chesterfield S41 7QD

Always a slight opening hours problem on Mondays. Multifaceted when it's a Bank Holiday. So, we were pleasantly surprised when we tried the door of The Neptune. And it opened.

A magnificent eight on Cask. Although nothing particularly enticing on Craft Keg.

Acorn Brewery (Barnsley), Lightness, “Light Pennine Mild” on Cask at 3.6%

Alright. What's going on here then? “Light Pennine Mild”? Up to them. As a booooozer, I don't find that a particularly helpful description. Call it Fred. Call it Ginger. It was a lovely beer. Easy drinking, Hoppy, floral, with a nice bitter finish.

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