The Championship
Saturday 1 April 2023
SUFC 2022/23 Game #55
I'm thinking, they're not helping themselves there. The landlord and locals were a tad surprised when we rocked up in their pub, on the green, in Hempton, which I'm going to dismiss as a village outside a village (Fakenham).
"How did you get here?"
"Was the River Wensum on your right?"
"Did you pass The Gas Museum on your left?"
"Did you see The Chicken?"
"He's got his own hut he lives in you know."
Fuck Sake. Look. I'm a Big City Craft Beer Ponce. But, you, with your resident chicken and its "house" are playing up to The Bumpkin stereotype.
I took the contingency of phoning up at 11:04 am. Just to check he'd opened at the advertised 11am. No point in seeing the Gas Museum, Chicken and Hut if you're on a wasted journey to the pub.
The Bell
24 The Green, Hempton, Fakenham NR21 7LG
Three locals already sat at the bar and at it when we walked in. And another guy sat at a table. Two rooms. No food. No TVs on. Features in the CAMRA Good Beer Guide. You nervously cast your eye around, worried that you'll have to go back past the chicken without a Beer Tick under your belt, you note Doom Bar, you note Abbott Ale, you frantically scan for any plausible keg beer.
Phew. There's the good stuff. Sandwiched between the Abbott of Doom are two independent Cask Ales.
Elmtree Beers (Snetterton), Snetterton Scary Tree, English Bitter on Cask at 4.5%
Named for an "augmented" tree at the Snetterton Motor Racing circuit. Sometimes called Victory Tree, because it resembles someone holding their arms wide in a victory salute. The tree met a sad demise on 9 February 2020 when Storm Ciara had a pop. Of course, that wouldn't be down to a climate crisis added to by cars & bikes roaring around Snetterton Circuit. Oh no. Completely unconnected to that I think they'll be arguing. Anyway - Snetterton Scary Tree - congratulations, you have just been informed by the Carrier Bag Firm.
Cascade Hops I'm reading. A proper English Bitter that one. Not my preferred style (anymore). But, good a hit nevertheless. Not oversweet. Good malt bang, then swirling bitterness.
Woodforde's Brewery (Woodbastwick), Wherry, Amber Ale on Cask at 3.8%
Inci fucking dentally, that was available in the ground, in bottles. The CBF rule always used to be if a plausible independent beer is available in the ground, you must get it, and you must push the Beer In The Ground KLAXON. But, we're "in between drinking systems" at the minute I'm afraid.
On Cask, it was a lovely drop. Unchallenging sounds a criticism, but it's not meant so. Just an easy drinking, straight ahead pleasure. Moreish. Neutral. Tasty.
Moving day at the football. I was vaguely aware 'Boro were one up. United were staying in the game. So were Norwich. But you wouldn't say either team were creating much. Tommy Doyle was taking corners right in front of me. Got Berge on one. Got Ahmedhodžić on one. And he hit the bar.
Fella over my left.
"Three One Huddersfield"
"Fuck Off mate, if there's rumours to start, I'll start 'em."
Murmurs. Clamours. Enthusiastic enthusiasm. FFS - better check me phone. And, then United scored before I could really put it away. We've got a Magic Number now. Five games. And, the fucking Scary Tree is already blown over remember.
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