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Saturday 29 June 2024
Played at Helmut Rahn Sportanlage
Ground Tick #491
German Beer Ticks up to #115
The peeling every quarter of the hour Saint Dionysius Kirche bells told the story of the Carrier Bag Firm beer day.
Dampfe, Das Borbecker Brauhaus
Heinrich-Brauns-Straße 9-15, 45355 Essen
Was just across the rail tracks from the church. They told me they'd open at Noon. We had to be on a train at ten past one to my 491st Ground Tick. We had beer. We had trains. We had football. The point I'm making is we had a SCHEDULE.
The Dionysius bells were ringing out as we hustled into the brewery. I love the potential of that…
“I'm sorry, we don't open until Noon.”
(Points to sky as bells ring)
“Opinion is divided.”
The Bierkarte had four on draft. A quick surgical could mean we'd scoop ‘em all in the hour. The quarter peels of Saint Dionysius would set our Meter. What a fucking disaster.
I Blogged recently about Köln. And if/when the barman got it right, the Kölsch just kept on coming, without the need to order, until you put an emphatic stop to it. Today, we had KölnOpposite. Ordering every single beer was torture, with no confidence that the fucking thing would come.
Dampfe is an enormous sprawling place bending around the brewery. There's multiple rooms inside. Ground floor and upstairs. And we were in the vast tiered Biergarten. Partly because that's where the majority of the waiters were.
Looked like being a busy Saturday. Lovely weather. Suns Out Pils Out. And then Germany in the EUROs later. Lots to do. Tables to lay. Menus to distribute. Phone bookings to be answered. Busy. Busy. Busy.
But, every human resource deployed was taking care of things for LATER. Busy. Busy. Busy. No one was concentrating on the HERE UND JETZT. No one was concentrating on our fucking schedule. Even though the Bells of Saint Dionysius were chiming the timetable when I'd need a new beer.
One member of staff was working the next beer garden block to us. I put the watch on her. She took twenty minutes to light a candle on every table. It was twenty to fucking one in the afts. Meanwhile. As anyone can see. I'm one beer behind schedule. And no one is serving me. Any of those candles that haven't already been extinguished by the gentle and warm afternoon breeze are getting fucking blown out as I exit.
Dampfe - Das Borbecker Brauhaus, Borbecker Helles Dampfbier at 4.8%
Dampfe - Das Borbecker Brauhaus, Borbecker Zwickelbier at 4.8%
Dampfe - Das Borbecker Brauhaus, Jubi Märzen at 5.4%
Three. We managed three. And then they fucked the bill up. Ding Dong Ding Dong.
That was SG Essen-Schönebeck of the Landesliga Niederrhein Gruppe 2 (tier 6 of the German pyramid). Against Rot-Weiss Essen, the local big boys from Bundesliga 3.
My lack of German Big Boy Beer Brands meant there was a tick in the ground.
Krombacher Pils at 4.8%
I had plenty of time to savour that one. As, get this, the schedule went South once again. As the toss was completed. And ends decided. And as the players lined up for kick off. One of the sprinklers kept on going and couldn't be turned off. FFS.
The game was all Rot-Weiss really. But, Essen-Schönebeck kept it tight at times. Particularly in the first half. Completely against the run of play, they actually had the two best chances. And they really should have scored with a near post cross on 41. But, Rot-Weiss broke away immediately from the resulting corner and put one in. And then another. To lead two nil at Half Time.
And the Bundesliga 3. side cruised it in the second half to end up with two more goals than beers I had in Dampfe. And one more goal than beers I SHOULD have had in Dampfe.
“That's five goals mate, five.”
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