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Thursday 6 July 2023
Ground Tick 434
In 2022/23, Wombwell Town finished 5th in the Sheffield & Hallamshire County Senior League. That's a feeder league to the National League Step system. The County Senior went to the wire last season. Swinton Athletic beat Dodworth Miners Welfare 4-3 on the last day. That was a winner takes the title showdown. Town finished 15 points behind Swinton - played 26, won 12, drawn 7, lost 7.
I'm no expert. But, let us say the vagaries of; league expansions, league contractions, league harmonisation, ground and facilities regulations, financial realities, and what we might term ambitions and aspirations, meant that it was tonight's hosts, Wombwell Town who were "promoted" to the Northern Counties East, Division One (Step 6) despite finishing 5th.
One of the ways of portraying that is - having weighed everything up, no other team applied for promotion, Town did. So, they've lick of painted, screwed some seats in, done some other shit, probs got some other shit to do and they're getting ready for a Step 6 league game, at home to Yorkshire Amateur on 29 July.
Last season, Pontefract Collieries finished 10 (of 20) in the Step 4 Northern Premier League East. Played 38, won 12, drew 13, lost 13. That put them just a place behind Sheffield Club. Worksop Town won that league, losing just one game all season.
So, Step 7 from last year pitched against Step 4 in this pre season friendly. In recent Blogs, I've explained the difficulties. I don't know the relative strengths of the XIs suited and booted. And, it's impossible to keep tabs on rolling substitutions. Especially if there's a lot of changes at Half Time.
No such fucking about from Ponte Colls. In the first half, they played in their Blue kit.
And, in the second half, a completely different set of players came out in their Yellow kit!!!
Sheffield United Shirecliffe Academy Graduate, Jason Paling, lined up at #2, conventional right back for Wombwell Town. Colls took the lead on 16. A cut in from the left, and a somewhat speculative long range right footer, caught the keeper hopping a bit and it sailed over him. Keeps be a disappointed with the second just two minutes later I reckon. A corner routine ended with a pass to a Colls striker unmarked on the six yard box. He fluffed it a bit, hit the post, it bounced back, and hit the keeper, fell to the same striker. No mistake this time. Two Nil.
On 36, the Wellers defence were static, backing off, and letting the striker get loads of space to make it threes.
But, wait, a half cleared corner on 45. The Wombwellian has blasted through a veritable sea of bodies to beat the unsighted keeper. Three One.
A clumsy challenge just after Half Time and the Yellow Shirts went 4-1 from the spot. On 64, I was beginning to think Ponte Colls Yellow would run away with it. The Weller keeper made a good save from a clever curling free kick. (If I'm honest I couldn't quite make out whether he palmed it out, or it came back off the bar). AnyRoadUp, no defender reacted to the rebound. Simple tap in for 5-1.
The final goal fell to Town on 67. A long ball down the right beat the offside trap and a lifted shot beat the keeper. And, that's how it ended. Five Two.
I should think both teams will be happy with that workout. Oh, and Ponte Yellow as well. If Wombwell Town were left feeling a bit glum conceding five, they can console themselves that their Under 9s fucking bossed it on the terraces. Look. I don't know they were Wombwell Town's Under 9s, may have been a different age group. But, let's call 'em that for the moment, to protect the guilty.
Why were they there? Maybe they'd had an earlier training session. Maybe they were supposed to Ball Boy. I saw some providing a - give me a low five, guard of honour - as the players came out of the rooms. Why? Well, they'd really come to fuck about and torment the Pontefract Collieries Firm. Good Lads.
My contemporaneous notes record the first incident at 58 minutes. The Ponte Firm had brought two flags. And, they a-tied 'em, and a-hooked 'em, and a-fastened 'em to the netting designed to keep the ball in. And, no matter how many times they did, the Wellers U9s went round the back, peered over, checked the coast was clear, and fucking untied them so they fell to the deck. (See photo at the top of Blog). The lovely little fuckers.
The Colls lads knew the score though. The flags wouldn't get nicked. But, no matter how many times they re hung them, the U9s would win this War On The Terraces. The whole shebang was brought to a crescendo on 87 minutes. Even their own Coach was getting fucking sick of them. He screamed across the pitch.
"Get down, get down off that wall now."
Ken Loach? Are you reading this Ken. If you ever need to recast Kes, put these fuckers in the frame.
As it happens, one of the Ponte flags had a tad sexist message on it. I'd like to think that was the main reason the U9s were constantly untying it. I'd like to think that. But I strongly believe they were pure and simple fucking about. Some of those U9s will end up in prison. But, some of them will one day organise a Carrier Bag Firm of their own. Proud.
Standard beer fare in the clubhouse.
Not for me tonight. En route, I had been in;
Maison Du Biere Elsecar
Elsecar Heritage Centre, Wath Rd, Elsecar S74 8HJ
I've previously been to a Beer Festival at the Heritage Centre. But this was my first time in the bar which is housed in one of the heritage buildings.
I found the reggae music on the sounds slightly soporific. And, yawning, I said so. Another customer piped up.
"There's a Jamaican Bar in Sheffield, but don't go there, you're likely to get stabbed."
"Oh yeah mate. What's it called?"
"Barry's"...
(For readers not from Sheffield, Barry's is the current incarnation of The Pheasant, an "infamous" pub on London Road in Sheffield, just up the road from Sheffield United's Bramall Lane ground. I last drank in there in April as we celebrated our promotion to the Premier League and waited for the Pyro to go up.)
I went;
Disruption Is Brewing (Camberley), Chaos More Chaos, Hazy Pale Ale on Keg at 5%
Named for the motto of the Wombwell Town U9s. Mosaic, Citra and Nelson Sauvin. Hoppy and Chewy. Lots of tropical fruit in the smell. Taste got more bitter as I lurched down it.
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