The Where Are They Waltz

Swansea City U23 3  v Sheffield United U23 0

Premier League Cup, Semi Final
Played at Landore Training Ground

Friday 27 April 2018

SUFC 2017/18 Game 86

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Swansea’s Landore Training Ground is the 206th different ground I have watched a Sheffield United XI play on. Yes, Phil, “but what constitutes a ground, you're just taking the piss now”.

Look. Don't fucking start all that. Goalposts tick. Corner flag, fence around it, grass, plastic, pitch markings, turnstile (ffs). I'm. Not. Interested.

I'm just watching some kickee ballee. Trying to get by. At my 206th SUFC Ground.

The U23 season is upside down. You start the season at your most fixed & honed in. But, you end your season in chaos & disruption. Because, Sheffield United. Players with a lot of experience at this level, who would be real assets vs a Premier League U23 side, are out on loan. Notably, Jordan Hallam, somewhere in Norway. Players who are “not going to make it with us”, have already found another club, everyone helping everyone. Jake Wright Jnr at Harrogate Town.

And, the lack of information leads to the old Where Are They Waltz. Stephen Mallon was here. David Parkhouse & Ben Heneghan weren't. Neither was Rhys Norrington-Davies.

Then. The “need” to trial kids, means that regular faces such as Simeon Oure are relegated to the bench in favour of who he Luke Yates on trial from Alvechurch. Essentially, Tyler Smith was lone striker again. Isolated. Living off scraps. I bet he can't fucking wait to get out on loan & play with the same partner two games running.

I know it's how it needs to be. I know it's about development. I know that if they're not good enough, we shift 'em on. But. Cup Semi Final. Category 1 Academy. Premier League Club. Older, bigger lads. That is a night just made for Jake Wright Jnr. Not to be.

The Young Blades were well beaten. By a faster, stronger, more organised Swansea outfit. We conceded a horrible one after just 5 minutes. And, we never really recovered from that. The third goal was right at the death. Book ending an 80 minute one nil for The Swans.

United started on the pace & stayed bang at it, with a high tempo for virtually all the game. Heads stayed up. Encouragement kept coming. I counted the toys at the end. Happy to report, they were all still in the pram.

On 5, Utd lost it in midfield, the anti-Cardiff guy has taken it on & got his shot off. Bones, none. That looked horrible from & for Eastwood. The ball was close to him, low along the deck, he didn't have to dive, it was close to “a collect”. Weak arms & hands. And it has just gone in off him. Looked poor.

It's not important to me, it wasn't a dirty game, but the Swansea lads were on their arses a lot, holding bits, chirping at the Ref. Sam Graham was booked for a foul on 21 minutes. Have to say, the Swansea player has executed that perfectly. Right foot, around the wall, right (and I mean, right) in the top corner. United had actually had a good passage of play up to that point. Mallon & Gilmour had combined well down the left & Swansea had to hoof it away, unceremoniously. Portman had a right wing cross knocked out for a corner.

After Half Time, when we were chasing the game more, we went more flexible. Flat back four at times. With Doherty pushing forward. Slater & Gilmour upped the gas in the engine room. Bomber bombed. Trialist Luke Yates was binned for trialist Michael Elstone, who then went off injured. A male pattern bald, grey haired, skinhead was seen searching for hair to tear out. One way or another, at some point, I'd have gone with Stephen Mallon up top with Ty Smith.

A lot of great shifts were put in. Slater, Gilmour, Smith, Cantrill, Doherty, Graham, Ferguson. At times, at two nil down, chasing it, some part of those shifts was desperate, last gasp defending. It was that sort of game. I'm sticking with - I was impressed with how the Young Blades kept playing at pace, kept positive, weren't niggly.

And, despite that. The late announcement of this game. Lots of hanging loose to see whether I'd be at Stocksbridge or Landore. Vindicated & validated by a lovely drink in the Boss Brewery Bar. One day, who knows. It's essentially across the roundabout from the Liberty Stadium, where the No Soul Crew Here First Team play. Because it only opens on Friday Tea & Sat/Sun, it's keg, bottles & tins only.

Boss Brewing, Brave, American IPA at 5.5%.
A smidgen too sweet. And a gnats bollock under hopped. But, if you wait, it gets there. Mouthfilling. Malt continues. But well balanced.

Boss Brewing, Bare, Helles Lager at 5%.
Yes. A proper Lager. Barley Sugar boiled sweets. Yeasty action. Got it all going on. Just like Mutti used to make.

649/1347