It's A Death Trap

Lancashire 411 for 2 

v Yorkshire 

County Championship 

Close on Day Three 

Tuesday 13 July 2021 

Played at Headingley 

Parental Advisory I'm afraid.

Bit of swearing in this one.

Turn back now if you prefer.

Because. That was a Fucking Farce. Rain yesterday meant a delayed start at noon today. Lunch at 1:10pm. At roughly 2:20pm, Yorkshire Young 'Un Dom Leech slipped, fell, and collided with the Western Terrace wall down at the fine/square leg boundary. Looked horrible. Teammates rushed over. Lanky physio made it over there. Yorkie physio in attendance. St John's Ambulance. Stretcher.

Eventually poor old Dom was carried away. Umpires Gould & Llong immediately called everyone else off & declared an early Tea at roughly 2:40. 

Now. From the time we arrived in the ground, until the delayed start, the Super Sopper Blotter had been concentrating on the "never sees the Sun" strip in front of the football stand. The drain for emptying the Blotter is right where Dom slipped. There's a mad, green, patched in, relaid bit of turf on the bowler's run ups at the Football Stand end. So. Gould & Llong come out & look at a completely different bit. Square on the opposite side to the Leech tumble. Then they have a look at the bowler's run ups at the Football Stand end. They don't have a fucking look anywhere near where Dom slipped. Then the crowd are told fuck all. Then the fuck allery continues. And play is abandoned at half four.

Recap. It's not rained all day. It's been sunny. The pitch was declared fit to play from Noon. There was two hours of play. And two hours later, the ground was declared unfit.

Yorkshire County Cricket Club. Can you hear me? The drainage at your ground is fucked. The Essex game the other year. The four days of the Second XI this year. Fucked.

Now, the Carrier Bag Firm understand that you have The Hundred coming up. And a Test Match against India. And, you really, really don't want to tell the ECB that your drainage is fucked. But, we can all see. It's fucked. Sometimes, as many as 12 people read this Blog. They also now know that your drainage is fucked.

It's bad enough deciding whether to travel from Sheffield based on Metrological Issues (weather forecast). But, now, we also have to take Geology into account. Ridic.

The announcement on the scoreboard said it all…..

Naturally, we offed to The Arcadia to discuss this farce.

Duration Brewing, Bet The Farm, Continental Pale on Keg at 4.5%

Kirkstall Brewery, Kirkstall Pale Ale on Cask at 4%

We, the Carrier Bag Firm can do that. But spare a thought for the Yorkshire Civilians. They had to sit through all that unfolding shit. My advice to them remains - do not blame the umpires for anything other than comms failures, they didn't fuck the drainage.

The title of this Blog - It's A Death Trap - is the property of one of the CBF who shouted it at the players as they made their way across the ever soddening outfield. The very same outfield whose drainage is fucked.

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