Tuesday 21 March 2023

Help, He's Really A Centre Forward

Hallam 2 v Hemsworth Miners Welfare 1 
Northern Counties East League, Premier Division 
Saturday 18 March 2023 

I see The Plough has gone. Maybe I just haven't noticed when I've been up previously. I'm fundamentally reporting a great Footy beer up at Sandygate from the 1860 Bar. SALT Loom had seemed to become the core, standard Craft Keg for the Shed Enders. But, today…

SALT, Jute, Session IPA on Keg at 4.2% put in a welcome appearance. Although it had gone off before we got the second half pints in. 

Let's cliche that 'un. It was park the bus full of Hops. With just a bit of citrus goalhanging about. Thick n chewy in a beautiful midfield spoiler sort of way. Tangy through the lines and not too bitter.

That win kept Hallam in sixth (newly promoted this season remember). Also promoted North Ferriby are running away with this league. I understand they could have even been promoted today if all results had gone their way.

An "I didn't think it looked as many as that" 664 announced as the crowd. A few pissed up Hemswortharianites present. No problem with that. All to witness a MAD GAME. 

Hallam pushed on and opened it all on 20 minutes. A neat spin in the box and low shot from Kieren Watson emptying the bar for ten seconds. Brandon Bradbury immediately made it two nil. 

Then on 28, the Hemsworth keeper came out and misjudged it all. My instinct said he needn't have grabbed at Watson as the ball was nudged past him. But, he's done what he's done. It was only just outside the box. But, the Red Card seemed right to me.

Hemsworth reshuffled. Bringing on Andrew Horbury. There were the tell tale signs. He's put on Ally Hughes shirt and keeper gloves. The KLAXON has been sounded, the word goes round - Makeshift Keeper. 

With not half an hour gone, the first SALT Jute not even dregged, Hallam two up and a Makeshift Keeper, you'd think The Countrymen might run away with this.

Firstly, the game seemed to just go flat. With not much happening. Then Hallam made a Triple Sub on 72. Then Hemsworth scored on 73. Hallam made two more subs on 80. Of course, Hemsworth were really going for it at this stage. Pushing the keeper up for corners. As the Carrier Bag Firm screamed;

"Remember, he's a Centre Forward really."

It was all a bit of a relief when the Ref ended it all and sent everyone for the 51.

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