Variety, It's Variety We Need

Woodford Town 1 v FC Clacton 1 

Essex Senior League 

Premier Division (Step 5) 

Friday 11 March 2022 

The Campaign For Real Ale. CAMRA. Can you hear me? You need a new way of classifying Real Ale pubs. The Carrier Bag Firm are not interested in QUANTITY. The Carrier Bag Firm are not interested in QUALITY. The Carrier Bag Firm are only interested in the VARIETY of beer on offer.

The sort of "every town, village & 'burb must have at least one entry in the Good Beer Guide" policy makes pub hopping & beer ticking a bit difficult. 

Some pubs are (rightly) in the Guide for consistent quality of a small range of major brand ales, with nothing else for miles around.

Some pubs are (rightly) in the Guide for consistently serving a wide range of independent & small brewery ales.

CAMRA need to just say in the guide which is which. Because, I feel I've wasted valuable ale time visiting the;

Crown & Crooked Billet

13 Cross Rd, Woodford, Woodford Green IG8 8BN

Look. It was a nice, welcoming place, full of regulars & blokes just finished their shift. The beer I had was perfectly decent. But, London Pride, Doom Bar, Black Sheep, Tribute, etc ain't bringing me out to the yard.

Fuller's Brewery, London Pride on Cask at 4.1%

Let the record show.

Woodford Town's Ashton Athletic Ground is the 391st ground I have watched a game on.

In order to get there, I had to walk past one of their old grounds, from an old guise. Unused since Woodford Town were evicted in 1993!!! I'm hearing from Google. 1993!!!

I exclamation mark because, the floodlight pylons are still up. And. And. One of the turnstiles is just sitting there, like a fucking abandoned just sitting there thing. FFS. Any CBF with a forklift & a white van, bell me brethren.

Another running track, like Mile End Stadium earlier in the week. This time though, we had Ballboys. Two. Little fuckers. They were routinely playing Keepy Uppy with one of the Multi Balls. There was NO way they were chasing stray balls while one of them had still got a ball in the air run going. The lino had to have a word with them at one bit. You know, just to ensure there weren't going to be 9 minutes of injury time going up on the board.

A goal for Woodford on 41 & an equaliser for the Sea Sea Seasiders on 70 sent both sets of fans happy enough into the night.

The Clacton CBF were right up there. Superfan wearing his custom made club shirt - Tractor 37 on the back. At one stage, he was shouting, (across the running track remember) at players asking them who they'd replaced. Just so he could keep his paperwork in order you understand. Later, one of the non league journalists had to consult him.

"Tractor, Tractor, was it 14 replacing 7…"

Hero.

I am afraid to report, with only Fosters & Stella on, the Woodford Town clubhouse had No Plausible Ale.

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