Saturday, 25 February 2023

Southee Now Level With Dhoni

England 435 for 8 declared 
v New Zealand 138 for 7 
Close on Day 2 
Saturday 25 February 2023 
Played at Basin Reserve, Wellington 
New Zealand Beer Ticks - remains at 219 

We've now reached the difficult to sustain - one day of cricket equals one Blog - phase of the trip. Just not enough hours in the day.

Let's start with the factoid I threw at my many new Kiwi mates in the Basin Reserve Long Room. Southee is still there on 23 red ink off just 18 balls. That's the way to go. Get some timber on it, see what occurs. 96 for 6 has become 138 for 7. I know, still the best part of 300 behind. But the follow on can be saved in single figures now. Anyway, in that 23, Southee clubbed two sixes. That moves him up to joint fourteenth in the all time list of sixes clubbed in Tests. Joint fourteenth with MS Dhoni on 78. Yes, that fucking MS Dhoni. How many do you think there are? Southee is just three behind Pietersen, and four behind Hayden & Flintoff. Six behind Viv Richards.

Once I told one Kiwi, they were fetching incredulous Kiwis from all corners on the ground to hear it from my gobshite. I went viral. (Obvs, it weren't even my stat. I just robbed it of the internet).

One asked me who holds the record for most Test sixes.

"Stokes, he went two better than his boss, Baz McCullum, in Mount Maunganui."

Some of them weren't even having that.

"Stokes? Surely he's not played enough Tests…?"

FFS

In January 1991, Andrew Jones & Martin Crowe put on 467 for the third wicket here at the Basin against Sri Lanka. At the time, that was a world record partnership. It has subsequently been topped by a 576 from Jayasuriya & Mahanama. And by a ridiculous 624 from Sangakkara & Jayawardene. But, at the time, Jones & Crowe, here in Wellington, held the record. And it is rightly commemorated in the Long Room.

Brook and Root set off this morning with the 300 partnership in their sight. Get through that, have a sight at Jones & Crowe. But, cricket will come at you. And Brook went for 186, partnership 302. I know Stokes hauled 'em in early. Once Root reached a milestone. And with Jimmy Anderson wheels up. But, that still felt a little unbalanced. A partnership North of 300. But a grand total South of 440.

As I learn anew about Test cricket, of course the number I'm really concentrating on, the only number that really matters, is Run Rate - 4.99 runs per over. Stokes knows the target is 5. He's brought 'em in too early.

Some Kiwi doomsayer behind me was rattling on about whether they'd be better than England at three down. As Foakes caught Will Young, both sides had been 21 for 3. Difference being, England then chipped away at wickets. Kiwis were out sweeping. Reverse & forward gears. And Pope was plucking catches off the bat face. 

Without Southee catching Dhoni and pursuing KP, they'd be in heapier trouble.

Tales From The Taproom

Alibi Brewers Lounge
(is currently closed)
(so you make do with)

Tantalus Estate
70/72 Onetangi Road, Onetangi, Waiheke Island 1971 

A frankly too far up itself Winery on Waiheke Island. You have to make a timed appointment to even have a tasting. I was offered 11am or 2pm. I snatched at 11am - we're not fucking savages. I made it clear at the time of reservation that I was in need of tasting Alibi Beers, not Tantalus Wines. I made it clear as I checked in at the front desk that I was in need of tasting Alibi Beers, not Tantalus Wines. While, my Carrier Bag Firm compadre made it clear to our "server";

"Showing me the list is helpful, but I'm just going to say - I want the absolute top of the range with choccy topping Tantalus Wine Tasting"

I, likewise, made it clear to our "server" I was in need of tasting Alibi Beers, not Tantalus Wines. Our "server", likewise, made it clear to me;

"We cannot offer Alibi Beer tastings, as we have a technical issue with the beer taps"

My inner self made it clear to all my selves that we were thinking - oh for fuck sake. That same inner self quietly left the table, selected a tin of Alibi Brewing Co, Neon Jumble, West Coast IPA at an 11am busting 6.7%, and brought it back to the table. My inner self said;

"Is there a fucking technical issue with this can an' all?"

My outer self said;

"Oh dear, these things happen, while the top of the range wine tasting is happening just there, I will happily just have this can just here."

And. Lo. With an unprecedented amount of outer courtesy from me, the technical issue with the kegs was sorted in due course. And, every day is a school day. Here's what I learned about modern wine production.

The Concrete Egg. The fucking Concrete Egg. An egg shaped concrete fermentation vessel. Which … allows the wine to remain in perpetual motion ASSISTED BY THE ROTATION OF THE EARTH. Aaaarrrrgggghhhh. Can't be true. Can't be. What an alcohol story that is.

I went;

Alibi Brewing Co, APA - NZ Cascade & Mosaic on Keg at 5.6%
Alibi Brewing Co, D.A.V.€. Delphic Abnormal Visionary €xperience Hazy IPA on Keg at 7.5%
Alibi Brewing Co, Electric Voodoo, American IPA on Keg at 7.2%

And, the one I'm going to single out is;

Alibi Brewing Co, Sea Salted Oyster Pilsner on Keg at 5%

A Collab betwixt Alibi, Blasta and Te Matuku Oysters. Infused with Waiheke Island freshly shucked oyster shells and sea water. Guess what? Humans are suggestible. Who knew? You tell me it tastes of the sea. It will. It did. Interesting beer and very enjoyable.

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