International Friendly
Friday 13 October 2023
Played at Wembley
Here's that Wembley Stadium Architects meeting in full.
"And here's the best bit. We're going to put an arch over it."
"An arch? What to hold something up?"
"No. Just an arch. We'll cable it up. Put lights on it. You'll be able to see it for miles around."
"Lights on it? What the fuck for? It's a football ground, not a Christmas tree. Miles around? It's not a fucking lighthouse. Can't we just chuck that part of the budget at a bigger and better bar for fans?"
"We're having a lit up arch. End of. We can light it up with all the different colours. Advertise shit on it. Make the lights go into wavy patterns. Make the lights look like a flag."
"A flag? Can't we just leave all that to the fans?"
"I don't know why you're being so negative. An arch. Lights. Animated flags. It's going to be EPIC."
"Mark my words. One day you'll light it up wrong. Or not light it up when someone thinks you should. There'll be a natural disaster. Or someone who thinks they're important will die. Or, heaven forbid, there'll be a war. And someone will say - you lit that arch up for them others, you'd better light it up for us, or we'll be after you."
"As if…."
In the lead up to what I can only describe as a totally meaningless friendly against Australia, all that Archy Agro actually happened. Here's Israel FA President Moshe Zuares following the tragic events in Israel and Palestine.
(Intriguingly, he uses "lighthouse" in his complaint). I in no way mean to diminish the events in Israel and Palestine. But. It's an arch. At a football ground. That's (apparently) not been lit up right. Welcome to football-land.
Tear the fucking thing down before it's too late.
I'm afraid this particular England XI+ did not light up Wembley tonight, (really Phil, really, you're going to go with that are you?) against arch (no, no, no, you've got to be kidding Phil) cricket rivals Australia. They tried that thing where Alexander-Arnold wears 2, sets up as a right back in a four for the kick off, but pushes into midfield, and I'm talking centre, and even left, midfield at every opportunity. I caught him bollocking Sam Johnstone for not rolling the ball to him when he was in the quarterback position. It's well worth experimenting like that.
I'm a BIG Jarrod Bowen fan. His role was that stuck out on the touchline thing. Give him the ball and let him come inside and run at defenders. And, he's great with the angles. Dribbling inside, a little pass back inside the full back he's dragging, to a Three Lioner running the cross pattern, creates space and possession wide, but inside the box. And Jarrod is heading the right way for any pull back or ball into the mixer.
But, England looked under par at setpieces. Aussie guys often getting a bit of space, and a good leap above their markers. They'll be disappointed they didn't score from one of those.
What with the plethora of different competitions and sponsors, you can never be quite sure what Beer is going to be available in ground. In general, tonight weren't bad.
Brakspear Gravity & Courage Best from the Casks. Camden Pale and Goose Midway IPA on Keg. And even a dedicated Stout Bar knocking out Camden Stout.
Unfortunately, that occasionally seen Goose Island, Hazy Session IPA on Keg at 4.6% seemed to be missing tonight. As was the Champagne!!!
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