La Liga Segunda DivisĂon
Saturday 13 January 2024
Played at Estadio Heliodoro RodrĂguez LĂłpez
Ground Tick #466
Spanish Beer Ticks up to 47
Tonight, we joined the Armada Sur buses (two) and a minibus for the trip North to my 466th ground tick. The Armada Sur are a, mainly UK expat, supporters group from the South of the island. Lovely people. We were naturally nervous about interloping on their bus. Because football buses the world over have their own etiquette and lexicon.
Regular readers will know I often travel on a Sheffield United supporters bus run by The GangMaster. I've gone into enough details over the years, so I won't repeat here. But, the unwritten rules of how it all works. And what you're supposed to do when, are fucking mind-blowing. It is just really hard to explain to Civilians. I can best sum up how fucking ludicrous it is by this photo of a recent raffle prize on the way to Aston Villa.
For decades, I served under David Spencer, Shred, on his buses to away games. Again, once initiated, all the chaos worked. But, you had to understand the etiquette and language to have any chance.
“If you get any mither, don't bring it back to t’bus.”
New lads & lasses were often asked (to incredulous looks).
“Do you want a banjo?”
And/or told to;
“Mind the furniture.”
I was once a guest on the Airdrie Section B bus to a Scottish Cup Final. I had no idea of the etiquette and didn't want to put my English Size Tens in. I mean…
“Does one take the Whizz before the Buckfast? Or vice versa?”
So. Supporters bus etiquette. You've got to be a bit careful. Yeah?
The Armada Sur seemed to run smoothly. I'd classify it as a - you've got two hands, you'll need two bottles - system. Pick up in front of the bar. Get on the bus with two bottles of beer. Drink those before the service station stop. Say 25 minutes. Buy three beers at the (say 15 minutes) service station stop. Drink one. Two back on the bus. For the (say 30 minutes) drink/drive to a small group of bars in view of the turnstiles.
Back to those bars on the whistle. Are you feeling the pumping rhythm yet? Buy three, drink one, carry two on. That's the equation for the drive South.
Tenerife are in the middle of a cup run. Last weekend, they had a thumping Copa del Rey, inter island, two nil win against (La Liga side) UD Las Palmas from Gran Canaria. This Tuesday, they play another La Liga side, RCD Mallorca, at home in the next round. Conspiracy theories abound that the Spanish FA on the mainland are fixing it for teams from The Islands to keep playing each other and knocking each other out!!!
Tonight's game was a wet squib sandwiched between those cup games. Elche won it. Probably deservedly. With a goal on just two minutes. That goal coming two minutes after a Ceremonial Kick Off to the game. An anniversary is being commemorated across the Spanish Leagues this weekend. The 200th anniversary of the Spanish Police. FFS. So, each game was ceremonially kicked off by Spanish Plod.
I couldn't quite catch the exact idiom of the Frente Blanquiazul 86 ultras. But, in response to a uniformed officer kicking the game off, they seem to have the impression that All Coppers Are Bastards.
My second game in Spain in two days. Again, one of the things you notice is refereeing. Some great moments. Elche #5 feels he's whacked in the face. Goes down. A-holding n A-rolling. Game goes on. He's rolling around. Ref not interested. Tenerife with the ball. They're not putting it out. He's rollin rollin rollin. Elche get the ball. Phew, he'll get some respite. No fucking chance. His own team keep playing. Treat him as a fucking roundabout - the cry goes up.
Eventually the ball goes out naturally. #5 still twitching on the deck. Ref still not interested. Get that throw taken. Once he gets the idea, the player just gets up and joins the play.
Not much later, he's down again with summat else. This time the Ref calls for the Magic Sponge immediately. On that, #5 gets up. He's fine. Staying on he feels. No No No. The Ref has called the sponge on. Even though the sponge hasn't come on, he makes #5 go off the touchline and wait an age to be allowed back on. Classic.
The last time you & I spoke about The Vault Bar in Los Cristianos, we'd located the TACOA beers in the fridge. Brewed on the Island. So. We'd better get deeper into that story.
TACOA Cervezas Artesanales, IPA from a bottle at 5.5%
Nice malt backbone. But, it doesn't go too far from there towards our bitter brethren.
TACOA Cervezas Artesanales, Surf Beer, Pale Ale from a bottle at 4.5%
I'm getting the picture now with these TACOAs. Again, everything happening all at once. No through the gears phases. But fair dos. That's a neat easy drinking pale.
I'd happily take two of those, then another two, then ninety minutes later another two on the Armada Sur bus.
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