Wednesday 17 April 2024

Is It Off Because It's Off?

Brentford 2 v Sheffield United 0 
Premier League 
Saturday 13 April 2024 
SUFC 2023/24 Game #59 
Ground Tick #486 
Different Ground watching a Sheffield United XI #234 
English Ground Tick #300 

There was plausible beer in the ground. As you'll recall, the Carrier Bag Firm Charter requires us to buy, drink and tick those. Even if you've already had a bellyful in the local Real Ale Pubs & Craft Beer Bars.

Meantime Brewing Co, Anytime IPA on Keg at 4.7%

And. Fuck me. I needed that one as “they” all descended on me on the Brentford concourse.

In case you ain't heard, this was the first time The Blades had played at Brentford's new build ground. I think it's fair to say that a number of people had made the effort to come and see their team. And to tick this ground off. I know I had.

First, there were The Polite Enquirers.

“Phil, how many grounds is this you've seen a United team play on?”

(Narrator takes big slurp of Meantime IPA)

“What? Any team? Friendlies? The lot? Even The Futures? … 234.”

The Polite Enquirer had done 238. Fair fucking play.

Second, there were The Assertive Quizzers.

“Counting this one, how many of the current 92 have United never played on?”

“Fuck knows. Er. Well. Counting this one, they've now played at every ground in the Premier League and The Championship. And I've done all those.”

“Correct. But what about the others.”

“Well. They've played at every ground in League One. And I've done all those.”

“No. They've never played at Cheltenham Town.”

“Yes they have. 19 July 2003. I went.”

“That was a friendly. You can't count those…”

(Narrator takes VERY big slurp of Meantime IPA.)

“Well. In League Two, it'd be Wimbledon, Harrogate, Sutton United but I've been to all those as a Neutral. Then Forest Green Rovers, Newport County and Salford City.”

“Yes. Those. And Barrow and Accrington.”

(Narrator, needing courage for this next bit, downs rest of Meantime IPA in one.)

“United sent an Under 23 side to Barrow in 2019. We got beat 3-1.”

“United sent a side to Accrington in 2001. The Reserves played Rochdale Reserves there.”

“You can't count those…”

I mentioned the Carrier Bag Firm Charter earlier. Well, the Charter is helpful here as well.

“Everybody. It's your Tick list. They're your Ticks. There's no Rules. Only your Rules. Tick yer Ticks. Celebrate yer Ticks. And celebrate how others are Ticking.”

I have seen football played on 486 grounds. By chance that includes exactly 300 grounds in England. On 234 of those grounds, I have seen a Sheffield United XI play. I have seen Sheffield United XIs play on 84 of the current 92. But, adding in Neutral games, I have seen games at 87 of the current 92.

Thank Fuck that debates over for a bit…

Brentford scored their second on 90 +3. Their opening goal on 63 was a big deflection OG. United not only stayed in that game for long periods. They were IN that game for long periods. Nothing mad. No particular claims of should have won. Maybe - could have drawn.

We had half n half possession. We had more than a handful of pukka shots. We had some intent. We couldn't really get much going up top. Brereton-Díaz and McB not gelling quite as well as recent games.

Arblaster enhanced his rep. If/when he gets the chance, he needs to go - mid-expansive. He (understandably) plays a fair few safe, help it on balls. He occasionally looks for the Hollywood cross fielder out wide. A key strength is the 15 yard progression - 12 sometimes. Either playing between the lines. Or a quick burst between the lines. Those will come (I hope). Because meaningful possession and progression is where he can make a difference.

Injuries mean we are still juggling at the back. But, Yasser Juggledin Larouci did well I thought. More minutes mean more settled in. I thought he did the job Wilder probably told him to do.

The McAtee thing is getting to me a bit. He's fucking lazy. Alright, alright he looks fucking lazy. He's marking time (because FFS he's not marking his man) when he could be using this opportunity to march forward.

But, anyway, you don't get any fucking points for any of that shit.

We had an interesting Quality Control issue in our bar of choice;

The Black Dog Beer House 
17 Albany Rd, Brentford TW8 0NF

You know the Black Dog right? Just along from St Paul's Rec? Where I was detained after the game in 1979 in connection with a Murder!!!

By exploration, we knew the Beer Board in the BDBH by heart. Intimately. So, when we went in after the game, we knew that this one must be fresh on. 

True Story Brewing Co (Wiltshire), Gone Postal, Hazy IPA on Keg at 5.8%

Quick sip. Nice. But, more or less immediately, the Bar Manager has rubbed it off the board. And turned the pump clip around. It's Off. But, is it Off because it's Off, or is it just Off?

I'd be interested in what you, reader, would do in those circumstances. You've bought a round of a particular beer. It tastes good to you. It's clearly not run out. But, the Manager then takes it off.

I went to enquire…

“Some customers have a problem with it, it's busy, so I'm taking it off.”

“Fine, but what do you want me to do with the three I've just bought?”

“Drink them if you want. I can't be replacing and refunding beers left right and centre.”

“But, if there's something wrong with it…”

“Have you tasted it? Do you think there's something wrong with it?”

“But, you're taking it off. Do you think there's something wrong with it?”

“Sometimes, during sparging, a bit of an antiseptic flavour can develop from the husks. It's a brewing issue. It's actually detectable in a lot of beers. I don't think there's anything seriously wrong with the beer. It's certainly not off. But, I can just detect it when I taste it. I'm going to have a good look at it, and a good taste of it, when I open in the morning. But, to save a lot of hassle while we're busy. I'm taking it off for now.”

That's unusual. The Manager, giving a full and robust explanation of what's occurring. Almost as if he knows what he's doing!!!

I'm proud to say the Carrier Bag Firm routinely have very little idea of what's occurring. So, we did as he said. We drank and thoroughly enjoyed that beer.

The Black Dog is a superb place. I counted eleven pukka craft Keg and four on Cask. In the unlikely event you've thoroughly enjoyed reading about Biggest Ticker, Lazy Midfielders, Beer In The Ground, and Unusual Quality Control Discussions, then please feel free to stop reading right here.

But, feels like we ain't had a Beer Blog for ages. So, for the unintentionally interested, I'm now going to run through the lot.

Round Corner Brewing (Melton Mowbray), Drovers, IPA on Keg at 4.3%

Fresh & Zingy. Tang to the bitterness. Rather than a throat grabber. Long finish. Dry Hopped with Citra, Mosaic & Simcoe.

Boundary Brewing (Belfast), Imagine Not Liking The Corners, Porter on Keg at 4.1%

Oatmeal porter. Some toast. Hint of chocolate.

Polly's Brew Co (Flintshire), Yonkers, Hazy Pale on Keg at 5.6%

Superb. It sounds odd. But in a certain light, it was so dense & opaque, it looked almost grey. Which I found very inviting. Tropical fruit backed up by marmalade orange.

Lost and Grounded Brewers (Bristol), Collab with Burnt Mill Brewery (Ipswich), Big Thaw 5, West Coast IPA on Keg at 6.8%

Westie Bestie. Two of my favourite English breweries Collabing. This was the one that replaced the - I've taken it off Gone Postal. Absolute Belter. Pils, Pale Ale and Cara malts. Columbus, Chinook and HBC 586 Hops. Citrus, pine, rich bitterness.

The Kernel Brewery (London), Small Pale Ale Citra Centennial Columbus Chinook Simcoe on Keg at 4.2%

Surprisingly ordinary. Couldn't help thinking they've gone in with a few hops too many and it's all lost in translation.

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