Northern Counties East League, Premier Division (Step 5)
Tuesday 16 April 2024
One of the Carrier Bag Firm was a tad surprised to be greeted by one of the warming up linesman as he made his way past the 1860 Bar.
“Who was that?”
“Dunno. He obviously knew me. Anyway. I'm a bit knackered. Been on call all night. Had two ridic call outs.”
“Ooohhh fuck. What happened?”
“One fella has filled his van up with fuel at 3am. His Company Card wouldn't work. So he's rang me on the on call number. I've had to get out of bed, drive down there, and pay for it with my card.”
“Jeeeez. That's a waste of time.”
“Tell me about it. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. It's him. The linesman. I've just realised. It's him. He's the Bloke I had to rescue at 3am. That's how he knows me.”
Dear reader. Please write your own linesmen jokes as you see fit.
“Missed that one lino. Bit dozy. Haven't you had any sleep?”
“You weren't up with play for that one lino. Haven't you got any gas in yer tank?”
“What's up with the Ref lino? Has he lost his cards?”
Et Fucking Cetera.
The CBF made like Fridge Raiders for this one. I just felt we'd accumulated a few too many cans in the fridge for various nefarious. With Hallam home games running out, we needed to reduce the stock.
Lock Ten Brewing Co. Lager from a Tin at 4.6%
That's from the Aldi stable. Maybe, just maybe, brewed by Freedom Brewery in Staffordshire. I've had some decent lagers out of Aldi in 330s. This weren't one. And a sort of orange/red can. Not particularly smuggleableinable. Could pass as a Dr Peppers can I suppose.
Lock Ten Brewing Co., American IPA from a Tin at 5.5%
Much, much better. Some pine. And a whack of intense bitter. Nice beer. Maybe pass for a Vimto can.
Next match. Aldi Dry Cider. Don't watch this space!!!
Mad game.
Maltby are finishing rock bottom of the Prem. Hallam can't make the playoffs. But, will finish in a very respectable position.
Stuart Ludlam had to be subbed at 18. And, with Hallam 5-1 up on 61 minutes, Craig Denton decided to give some of his big guns a rest. He fetched off Blackburn, Fearon and Wilson. Using all his remaining Subs.
On 61, Lewis Macaskill completed a superb Hat Trick to make it 6-1. Unfortunately, he's lasted about another ten minutes before having to hobble off with Hallam then down to ten. On 78, Brandon Bradbury needed extensive treatment. He was clearly not up to continuing. But, already down to ten, Hallam shuffled to use Brandon as a roundabout in midfield.
All this time, keeper Hugo Warhurst was limping around following a knock.
But, he persevered. And the other other eight plus roundabout got Hallam over the line. Reasonably easy when you're six one up.
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