Wednesday 3 April 2024
Played at Shirecliffe
SUFC 2023/24 Game #55
NBDR
No Beer Don't Read
Did you read the news? Sheffield United have a linear plan. Which involves buying and developing a new first team base at Dore in Sheffield. In turn, that would then free up space and facilities at the existing, joint first team base and Academy at Shirecliffe. And that would allow the Club to pursue the accreditation for a Category 1 Academy. (We're currently Cat 2).
Lot of fucking ducks to get in a row before all that, mind. But. The Carrier Bag Firm can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that some improvement work has already begun at Shirecliffe!!!
Great initiative by the Club. No point hanging around if you're on a planned infrastructure improvement route.
“No mate, they aren't doing anything about the top pitches yet.”
“No mate, there's still (of course) no progress on a toilet that fans can go wee wee or plop plop in.”
“Whaaaaat? Of course there's no progress on a seated area for fans. Let alone a roof.”
“No mate, player's roof still leaks an’ all.”
“I'm afraid, in typical Big Football fashion, the first improvements at Shirecliffe have been for Scouts and Agents. Bloody typical eh.”
(See Photo at Top o’ t’Blog)
Impressive ain't it. Ticks all the PL high quality boxes. Got all the patched asphalt, potholes n puddles, moss n weeds vibes going on. But, as dictated by the Cat 1 Academy Regulations, the Scouts & Agents Area is now clearly demarcated. By (checks photo) fucking cones.
And, one of the parasites is not even standing within the required area.
Incidentally. Bloke in blue coat is once a Blade, always a Blade, Mark Todd. Who now works for Manchester City. Toddy, you'll remember, was born in Belfast and earned an international cap for Northern Ireland U21. Toddy was also impressed with the new Scouts Area. As he explained to the Carrier Bag Firm;
“Ah look. They've put orange cones out just for me. (winks to camera).”
Later, rumoured new United Head Scout Or Similar, Jamie Hoyland would also cone himself off in that area to watch the game.
Oh dear. We've reached that stage of the season. Players being lined up to be retained. Players being lined up to be released. And who put the trial in trialist. Three of the fuckers out there today.
Zach Giggs, right footed Zach Giggs, set up as left centre back in a three. If that was an experiment, abort abort abort. Awful. Maybe it was just a case of they didn't have the right bodies and asked him to do it. Maybe it was one of those out of your comfort zone headfucks. Alfie Hough was in the middle, Seth Okyere on the right. With Sam Colechin outside him at RWB. Trialist at LWB.
Coby Hewitson behind all that lot. Sam Aston, Theo Howard and Archie CC in front. With Marshall Francis and another Trialist up top.
Ethan Cummings replaced Christie-Cranie at the half. Mekhi HP and Noah Kiwomya replaced Trialist and Francis on 67.
Overall, Bournemouth deserved that win. But, neither team really impressed. Horrible one minute start for the Blades. Bournemouth moved down their right. A good cross into the heart of the xG. The defender basically stopped it, couldn't get on the second touch. And that became an actual goal.
On 22, Bournemouth made it two. The ball wasn't cleared. Coby made a good save. Did I already say the ball wasn't cleared? Because it wasn't cleared again. Two nil.
Trialist pulled one back on 25. Two one at time half.
Zach Giggs, lots of attacks had come down his side, day got worse on 47. A - becoming a regular thing with our Academy sides - veins throbbing kerfuffle on the far side. Claim and counter claim grassing up. Ended with Giggs Red Card. He explained the situation to his Dad, who incidentally WASN'T in the coned off area, as he trudged off. Seemed to think the Bournemouthian had him by the shirt.
There then followed a period of the Ref fucking booking everybody. Including someone on the United bench. Bournemouth pulled away at 3-1 on 55. To United's credit, Sam Aston clawed one back on 62. But Bournemouth sealed it all up with ten left.
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