Ein-Mann-Unternehmen

SF Charlottenburg-Wilmersdorf 4 v SC Gatow 2 

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Sunday 14 July 2024 

Played at Stadion Wilmersdorf 

Ground Tick #499 

German Beer Ticks up to #149 

One of the Carrier Bag Firm memes that has been developing at German lower league friendlies had been the rewilding of the terraces, as grounds regress to just one side being maintained and used.

You may have read the CBF Allotment Correspondent’s view of sapling infiltration at SV Lichtenberg 47. Or read the description of a Hi-Vizzed steward feeding ducks among the foliage at Dynamo Berlin.

Well. Stadion Wilmersdorf, home of Tier 8 SF Charlottenburg-Wilmersdorf of the Bezirksliga Berlin 1 league, and my 499th Ground Tick has raised the fucking stakes.

As long ago as 1984, they let the North Stand go. But, rather than let nature take its own route. They went to their friends in Rheingau-Taunus and asked their advice. Resulting in one hundred Riesling and Ehrenfelser Vines being planted on the South facing terraces. The Riesling vines were further extended in 2003. 

Yes. You heard that right. The North Stand at the Wilmersdorf is now a Vineyard. What a Club. What. A. Club.

SC Gatow of Tier 7 Landesliga Berlin 2 opened the scoring on just five minutes. At that moment, the Carrier Bag Firm fully realised that we were in the presence of that glorious, and worldwide, lower league football phenomenon.

The One Man Firm.

SC Gatow. Abbreviated to SCG. Or, as our Ein-Mann-Unternehmen cousin had it.

“Heil. Heil. Ess Say Jay. Heil. Heil. Ess Say Jay.”

Unfortunately, the SG Gatow keeper was fucking hopeless. Walkabouts around his Lebensraum. Trying (and failing) to save everything with his feet. Hopeless.

Charlottenburg-Wilmersdorf equalised on 14. Went ahead on 15. And made it 3-1 on 19. SCG keeper fucking hopeless.

He didn't come out for the second half. Didn't even see him in his trakkie on the bench. Probably fucking redeployed weeding the vineyard. We wished we'd paid more attention. Because we had the distinct impression that Gatow had just put one of the outfield players in goal. Rather than persevere with what I can only hope was a trialist keeper.

Even with that change, Charlottenburg-Wilmersdorf went 4-1 up on 55. But a goal just after that fired the Ein-Mann-Unternehmen up again.

“Olé fur die Ess Say Jay. Olé fur die Ess Say Jay.”

Brilliant. Finished 4-2. Heavens opened. Namby Pamby English Carrier Bag Firm sheltering under trees. German One Man Firm just walking through it all in his t-shirt with a bottle of beer on the go. That's how to fucking live!!!

Das Lemke

S-Bahnbogen 143, Dircksenstraße, 10178 Berlin

That has become a bit of a Horrendous Lemons HQ on this trip to the EURO Final. Despite it not selling Guinness nor conventional British Cider (how do I know these people?). I've been in there on previous trips. And been in some of their other locations. So, I've made a real dent into their beer lists, to up the ticks, and I can press the flesh as well.

After the game this morning, I ordered the 030 Berlin Pale Ale as a Tick. But, when he came with all the beers for the Lemons table, he realised he'd fucked up and brought me the Helles by mistake. (My assumption was - I must have had that already.) But, if he's apologetic, and knows he's got it wrong, I default to;

“No worries. Honest mistake. Shit happens. Give ‘em here.”

Brauerei Lemke, Berliner Perle, Helles on Keg at 4.9%

Once I'd accepted it. I checked the sacred beer lists. And it was a tick after all. Karma that is for not kicking off to the waiter. Fucking Karma. Hops from Hallertau. Maybe grown on an abandoned football terrace. Maybe…

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