Tuesday 2 April 2024
Northern Counties East Division One (Step 6)
Ground Tick #485
Southwell City 0 v Newark Town 3
United Counties League Division One (Step 6)
Monday 1 April 2024
Ground Tick #484
Newark & Sherwood United 4 v Lincoln United 0
United Counties Premier Division North (Step 5)
Monday 1 April 2024
Played at Groundshare at Collingham FC
Ground Tick #483
Newark & Sherwood United
The Highwaymen and their cuz’s at The Zebras had got their heads together to arrange an Easter Hop. Staggered kick offs. Six Quid English covers both games. Complementary meaningless bits of paper (ie match programmes). A lot to like.
I had checked out the possibilities of doing it by train. But, one of the Carrier Bag Firm is trying out a Hybrid Car. So we went in that.
He's marked The Hybrid up because the SatNav shows a number for which turn you need at a roundabout. He only missed two turns across all three games.
The clock in the car was set an hour wrong following the recent hour change. And I couldn't fucking get my coat out the back because of the child lock on the door. So, that needs dealing with going forward.
They don't put real shit like that in WhatCar.
Away team, Lincoln United, were most recently seen beating Hallam in The Vase on Penalties. They've got Romford in the Semi Final Second Leg on Saturday. Two each going into that. We speculated whether a) they were resting players for that or b) the picked players were resting themselves subconsciously.
We quizzed some Lincoln U Baggers. They felt it was quite a strong team. But that b) might be the case. There had been a bit of scribbling out on the pinned up paperwork.
Jack Steggles being Sharpied into goal late on. (Confirmed with Lincoln Bagger he's likely starter v Romford). A “cross” sailed over him on 11 into the far corner. And on 70, he let one roll through his legs. But, don't worry. Steggles blamed the defence for the other two. Loudly. And swearily.
Great effort by somebody. Most likely somebody at host groundshare club, Collingham FC. Two Cask on in the Clubhouse.
Beermats Brewing Co (Newark & Sherwood), Hazmat, Session IPA on Cask at 4%
Southwell City
Southwell City had gone the extra Easter Hop yard by deploying an Inflatable Darts Board behind the goal. Couple ‘a quid. Kick six footballs at the board. Balls got a velcro effect. Which sticks the kicks to the board. Highest score at the final whistle wins a prize.
He Of The Hybrid has had a go. Six balls. Six shots. Zero. Fucking zero!!! He didn't win.
And. Big news. We got some Ref and Lino action. Teaching me stuff I didn't know.
“You know those marks, ten yards away from the corner quadrant, behind which players are supposed to retreat. In the warm up, the Ref paces from one of those to the corner quadrant. Counting his or her paces along the way. Let's say they get eleven paces. They now know that, on the day, eleven of their paces is ten yards. So, when pushing a wall back at a free kick, they know they need eleven paces. They're using the pitch markings to calibrate their stride length. Good that. Bent bastards.”
But, they don't always make walls go back ten yards. Oh no.
“If there is a free kick roughly 28 yards out, they don't want to set the wall up on the penalty box line. Because if it hits a hand they'll have a line decision to make for a penalty shout. So, they set the wall too short, or too long, so they know whether a hand is inside or outside. Never set it on the line. Good that. Bent bastards.”
Fairly comfortable three nil for the second Newark team I had seen in the day.
Great effort by somebody. The Centenary Sports Ground got Middle of Nowhere vibes. Cans & bottles will be the only sustainable ale dispense system out here. Two bottles on in the Clubhouse.
Beermats Brewing Co, Stripes IPA, from a Bottle at 4%
Badged for the club. You'll not find that in many places. Gotta tick that.
Glasshoughton Welfare
NBDR - No Beer Don't Read
Only industrial tins in the clubhouse. I was warned by the gateman not to ask for a Whisky as they water it down. Bantz.
Battle of the bottom this ‘un. At the end, The Glassy Ultras strode out into the West Yorkshire gloom, carefully avoiding any stray horses.
“Staying up. Glassy’s staying up. Nah nah etc.”
Basically the only song they sang all night that didn't have swearing in it.
Ollerton Town's record is truly shocking. Played 39 in a 44 game season. Four points. Goal difference minus 147. Away form, played 22, lost 22. Got five home games left. Including four in eight days to salvage whatevs they're hoping to salvage.
So. The Carrier Bag Firm were a little bit hopeful of seeing Town's first away point when they pulled it back to three two. With fifteen remaining. But that didn't happen.
Glassy are six points from safety with three to play. Tough ask. Despite the Ultras optimism.
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