No Place Like Home

Sheffield United U23 0 v Bristol City U23 1 

Professional Development League Semi Final 

Monday 9 May 2022 

Played at York City!!! 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #72 

The headline is - that's the end of the season for the U23s, a defeat in a poor, flat, uninspiring display.

Lots of "traffic" since Saturday about people not being able to buy THEIR seats for the Forest game. If I'm honest, I've not helped with a series of incendiary Twitter posts (smiley face). But, here's the reason why shit like that won't trouble the Carrier Bag Firm. Here we are. At a Sheffield United Under Two Three HOME game. Being played in YORK. Not The Lane. Not Chesterfield. Not Shirecliffe. As all previous U23 home games have been. Not in Sheffield. Not in South Yorkshire. Not in NE Derbyshire. In York.

You can't get your usual seat? Dry your eyes mate…

"I'm not gonna fucking just fucking leave it all now

"'Cause you said it'd be forever, and that was your vow

"And you're gonna let our things simply crash and fall down

"You're well out of order now, this is well out of town…

The U23s finished their regular league season on top of the Professional Development League North. Played 23. Won 15. Drew 3. For 48 points. That put them into today's Play Off SF.

They also competed (alongside some Cat 1 & some Cat 3 Academies) in the Premier League Cup. Finishing second in their four team group. (Above both Everton & Burnley). Played 6. Won 3. Drew 1. For 10 points. 

They lost a dramatic Round of 16 knock out game 4-3 away at Derby County.

For my part, repping the Carrier Bag Firm, I did 7 home league (& play off) games & 5 away. Two home cup games & two away. Making 16 out of 31 they played.

Across all that, I harvested three new ground ticks. York City's new ground. Loughborough University (as a Derby County U23 home game). And Wigan Athletic's Academy ground at Christopher Park.

Successful on the pitch (before today), it felt like an odd season to me. Call ups. Call backs. Drop downs. And a lot of fluid movement between the U18s and U23s. All against a backcloth of our more experienced Academy lads out on loan in "men's football".

No single dominant goalscorer - again. Indeed, twenty one different goalscorers this season. Including Slater, Brewster, Ndiaye & Jebbison. Will Osula topped the list with 9 goals. Hassan Ayari next with 7. It's worth noting that Will's 9 goals came in just 8 starts & 2 subs.

We have to go back to 2017/18 to find a Big Number Goalscorer. Tyler Smith bagging 22 goals. For comparison, there were 17 different goalscorers that season. And we used a frankly ridiculous SIXTY players. This, 2021/22 season, we used 46 players.

"Intriguingly", seven of the 60 who featured in 2017/18 also featured this season. Belehouan, Broadbent, Rhys Norrington-Davies, Slater, Dewhurst & Eastwood.

The big game time players this season were Andre Brooks, 27 starts, 2 subs

Nicksoen Gomis, 27 starts

Angelo Cappello, 21 starts

Joe Starbuck, 19 starts, 1 sub

Oliver Arblaster, 18 starts, 1 sub

Of course, that's a double edged sword. For more established players, it can be a signal for - going nowhere. Only Brooks & Arblaster of those started the game today. There is a rumour Cappello trialled with Watford recently. It'll sound mad. But these U23 Academy play offs always come at the wrong time of the season - the end.

Some players will already know they're unlikely to be retained next season. And, clubs are extremely conservative, saving all and sundry for first team games - in our case the Championship Play Offs. And, the Academy management are already planning longer term. All working against this single, one off, short term game.

So. We ended up with a makeshift team. Shored up with Amissah in goal & Ky Gordon at centre back. The main issue was the frankly lightweight pairing of Leo Gaxha & Hassan Ayari up top. They couldn't get anything going. Partly because of a lack of control and energy in midfield from Arblaster & Peck. Those two are "up & coming" players. They'll surely be retained. But, compared to what I've seen from them before, they were poor today.

Collins kept fucking about warming subs up & showing them the tablet. Then sitting them on their arse. He finally hauled Gaxha off on 60. And stuck George Broadbent, most recently on loan at Rochdale, on in an unfamiliar role.

As the game bumbled towards extra time, I think he decided to save his subs for that. Subs that included Will Lankshear (6 goals in 5 starts & 9 subs). And we got our arses bitten as Bristol City scored on 89. A great curling shot from outside the box.

Lankshear immediately came on for Ayari. But, we were done. Big choice on Ayari this Summer I feel.

Even though I've already joked about it, an afternoon game in York does, of course, afford a great drinking day. The Carrier Bag Firm started in…

The Maltings

Tanner's Moat, York YO1 6HU

A bit of a York Institution. They've placed themselves as one of those wholesome, traditional pub grub hostelries. Lots of "jokey" quips written on the menu. And mammoth portions. Too much for the plate, and you're supposed to go - oooohhhh look at that. Every table clearing is met with - aaahhh, it beat you did it?

Eight on Cask. Four pukka Keg

Two By Two (Wallsend, Tyne & Wear), Azzaca IPA on Cask at 6%

I didn't realise that was 6% when I ordered it. Amateur Hour. Just what I expected. Fruit & Sweet at first. Some ginger in there, which surprised me a bit. Quite a thin mouthfeel. Tongue tingling bitterness, but not a throat grabber. Great beer.

York Brewery, Guzzler, Golden Ale on Cask at 3.6%

(FFS, look at them chips, piss take)

Easy drinking. Uncomplicated. Good condition. Challenger and Celeia hops.

We adjourned to…

House Of The Trembling Madness

14 Lendal, York YO1 8AA

The first time I've been in that branch. One set of Keg/Cask upstairs. Which seemed to be centred on a Cloudwater takeover. And, a different set downstairs, (where we settled). The Carrier Bag Firm sometimes adopt the - all order the same beer - rule. Makes us more confident we got the one we were targeting. Today we swerved that. I ordered…

Sureshot Brewing (Manchester), Name A Yellow Fruit, West Coast IPA on Keg at 6.7%

The barman lined mine & the others on the bar & pointed them out. I wrote down verbatim what he said about this one;

"That one is definitely the West Coast. I'm telling you specifically because, nowadays, a lot of West Coasts don't look like West Coasts anymore. Just don't call it a West Coast if it comes at you Hazy. Because it isn't"

He's right. He's right. He's fucking right. So many beers billed lazily as West Coast, which aren't. He's right. This one was one.

Wylam (Newcastle), The Makings Of You, Centennial Pale Ale on Keg at 4.4%

Fresh & Bright. Just a bit of bitter grinding away in the depths. Bursting with flavour.

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The New Collectable

Sheffield United U23 1 v Millwall U23 1 

Professional Development League, North 

Tuesday 26 April 2022 

Played at Bramall Lane 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #69 

By all that is Holy, this Blog should really begin with a celebration of a great title winning season for our U23s. But, the Carrier Bag Firm have out done themselves again. With some utter nonsense. So, I have to begin with the following statement…

Just fucking look at what they are collecting now.

You may recall that the Carrier Bag Firm are basically named for the bags they use to secrete all manner of meaningless bits of paper that they "must have" in their collections. Civilians might be satisfied with first team home match programmes. The CBF, not so. It's got to be the programme, a match ticket & a teamsheet. And, of course, teamsheets & match tickets from Academy games are a must.

There's like a swap meeting at these U23 home games at The Lane. They bring all manner of paperwork to hand out & make sure everyone who needs something, gets something. At least you can say the CBF is a mutually supportive organisation. 

But. Tonight. Fuck. Me. Not content with programme, ticket, teamsheet. Another bit of paper has reared its crumpled head.

The printed Stewards Briefing used to … well … to brief the Stewards. No. Really. Now a collectable.

Moving on. Are you familiar with the work of Isaac Jefferies? Isaac is 16, he turns 17 next month as it goes, and he joined Cardiff City as an 8 year old. Isaac came on as substitute for The Bluebirds in an U23 away match at Coventry City yesterday. And, scored the winner in a 2-1 victory - in the 87th minute.

The Carrier Bag Firm will forever know that as - the goal that was heard around S4.

Because, that was the goal that clinched the 2021/22 title for Sheffield United U23. While they were sitting on the sofa. Champions for the second season running. Although, it's worth remembering "the churn" in Academy football. The U23s were second bottom after 25 games in the Covid hit 2019/20 season. And, also second bottom the previous (2018/19) season. Let's not be thinking about a dynasty just yet. 

And, our historic lack of investment/ambition in Academy facilities & programs means we remain a Category 2 Academy. Effectively playing in (but winning) U23 Academy Division Three North.

In the knockabout arguments about Academy Success, there are three basic criteria.

Winning leagues/collecting medals

Developing players & selling them for big money (in the hope of reinvestment into the first team squad)

Progressing players into our own first team

It's fine. Relax. If your team is not very good at one, you can always claim one of the others is the most important.

Recently, we've mostly lived on selling players. Your Walkers, Maguires, Calvert-Lewins, Ramsdales & your Brooks.

A partly deliberate, partly enforced change of strategy this season has seen us bring kids through to the first team. Your Norrington-Davies, Ndiaye, Gordon, Jebbison. Maybe even your Osula.

Investment in the Academy facilities & programs AND bringing our own youngsters into the first team will (humble opinion) both remain difficult for us. Because we are what I call a Striving Club. As opposed to a settled & consolidating club. We are always battling against relegation, trying to get automatic, or to creep into the play offs.

Against that striving, the fucking lot would go up if we diverted serious money away from first team wages & recruitment for Academy investment & recruitment. Or, if we settled for one of our own youngsters at RCB when we can harvest the Russian Clubs are banned after invading Ukraine market. (FFS)

Part of that striving comes from who we are. And part comes from the introduction of the play offs. Which have created more striving clubs & fewer investors in yoooot clubs.

But, that's all for another day. Because today is Game Day. Today we can concentrate & celebrate Criteria One. Winning leagues & medals.

As league winners in the North, the format should be - we play the team that finishes second in the South, at home, in a one leg play off. (And, there's every chance that would be at Bramall Lane). Currently, Bristol City, Ipswich Town & Cardiff City are battling it out for the top two spots in the South. The league season is due to finish on 3 May. Indeed, United will have a hand in the South Group. As our final game is away at Ipswich (don't ask…). And, of course, young Issac might still have another hand to play if we lock horns with his Cardiff City team should they finish second.

Right. Tonight. I thought that was a pretty even game. Both sides had chances. A lot of our problems were self-inflicted. And with a late equaliser, maybe we were a little lucky to come out of that with a draw. We started both halves brightly enough. And I'd sum the whole thing up as - energetic but sloppy.

Ex squeeze Kamarl Grant has started 8 games for the SUFC U23s this season & 3 subs. But, tonight, he turned up as #4 for the 'wall. Kamarl set up as a right centre back - in a fluid sometimes 4, sometimes 5, Millwall back line. Millwall were a real danger from whipped in free kicks and corners all night. Kamarl got a great header on one on 71, which flashed just wide.

Callum Hiddleston betwixt sticks again. Lopata anchoring a back three with Ky Gordon on his right, and Miguel Freckleton on his left. Sachdev wide right. Buyabu left. The impressive Arblaster in centre mid. Brooks on his left, Sydie Peck on his right. Hassan Ayari & Dan Jebbison up top.

One thing I'm going to mention about Lopata is that they use him as a Quarterback as well as a Centre Back. A lot of the ball goes through him. Time after time, throw ins on our right were thrown, backwards and quite long, to him to (re)start the build up.

Oliver Arblaster faded a bit as the game went on. But, he has a great game plan. He's got a bit of that radar thing going on. He scans the location of the opposition players. And his body shape and positioning is excellent. Couple all that with a great first touch - and he is blinding at facing the opponent's goal with the ball at his feet very quickly. Perfect as an outlet & as build up. Really impressive (in bursts).

However, Daniel Jebbison, frustrating again. I worry about his touch. He constantly seems to get the ball caught, clumsily, between his feet. 

In the first 20, the Young Blades seemed well on top. A lot going through Arblaster. But, both Hassan & Jebbo struggling to get anything going up top.

On 32 minutes, I started making a note along the lines of…

Our only real problems at the back are self inflicted. Sloppy passing along the back line giving Millwall a way in.

And. Lo. Before I'd finished writing that - Millwall scored. We got robbed, they broke down the left, and scored from a good low shot across Hiddleston.

Our first real chance came just after that. Ayari wriggling free in the box. But shooting over the top. More or less straight away, a South Londoner slipped under pressure from Jebbison. The keeper rushed way, way out to deal with it. But could only find Peck on the halfway. He hit a clever low shot towards "the empty goal". But a Millwall player got a desperate block on it around the penalty dot.

United started the second half with a storm. (The often anonymous) Brooks hit a post with a great left foot shot from outside the box. Then, quarterback Lopata found Sachdev with a long ball. He skipped forward & pulled it back perfectly for Hassan. But, he clipped it just wide.

But, wouldn't you just know it, another defensive fuck up on 68 saw the Millwall striker lift it just over the top. As the last 20 started, I felt we were sliding down. Players missing. Second best all over the shop. But, Will Lankshear (on for Ayari) found space and fed 'dre Brooks. His cross had a bit of pinball afters. And it fell nicely to Jebbison who side footed the equaliser on 80 minutes.

Luckily, the Carrier Bag Firm are now well briefed on Stewards duties. So, the goal celebrations were contained.

(No Beer Day)

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From The Windy Corners

Crewe Alexandra U23 0 v Sheffield United U23 3 

Professional Development League 

Monday 11 April 2022 

Played at Gresty Road 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #66 

Business end now. We've already got 47 points and top the table. Coventry can get a maximum of 49. They play twice before we next play. Slip ups by them might mean we win the league on the sofa. Otherwise, it's bring the noise to The Lane on Tuesday 26 April, 7pm v Millwall.

I'm not saying three nil flattered us. I'm not saying it wasn't comfortable in the end. But, it was a bit of a scrappy game (on a poor surface, it must be said). We never really seemed to scruff neck the game.

Ky Gordon, Iliman Ndiaye, Dan Jebbison & Kacper Lopata all started. All except Iliman did 90 minutes as well. Aidy Boothroyd was (again) sat quietly on the bench taking it all in. And, Jack Lester was in the seats. Maybe to keep an eye on the first team fringers.

Callum Hiddleston gloving. Kacper in the middle of a three, Gordon on his right & Miguel Freckleton left. Gomis outside Mig. Sai Sachdev outside Ky. Arblaster in the take it off them, Quarterback role. Sydie Peck (right) and 'dre Brooks (left) pushed up in midfield. Daniel & Iliman up top.

I felt the Young Blades should have gone one up right away. Sachdev put a clever cross in from the right. Iliman got on it & really, really should have scored. But, his no power side foot dink went wide. 

To be fair, Alex showed a bit an' all. Always trying to play with the ball, they built it down their right. The ball forward caught Freckleton out a bit & Lopata "had to" put in a horrible challenge in front of the dugouts to break the move down. (Booked for that).

United were on top. Both Iliman & Jebbison being a bit greedy at times to keep the ball & get their own shots off. A few creative bits & pieces from Peck & Brooks to keep the top two in service. There was quite an odd phase of the game from about 15 to 35. Crewe kept trying to play out from the back. But, often lost it as United pressed & harried them. Equally, United kept losing it, or were robbed, in the final 33%, and looked very susceptible to rapid counter attacks.

It was as if both teams main attacks were coming from errors by the other team. Rinse, and repeat.

United continued to have the most clear cut chances. On 28, Iliman shot wide after wriggling into the box. On 31, Andre Brooks went on a mazy run across & into the box. But that ended with the keeper diving at his feet & smothering it. 

At last. Deadlock broken on 39. The ball bobbled & bounced around the box on the right. Jebbison got it under control, of sorts. And knocked it along the six yard box for a simple Ndiaye tap in.

Just three minutes of sixty second duration later (ie not very long after) it was the old reverse-a-roo. With Ndiaye putting it on a plate for Jebbo. Who, I'm sorry, looked a bit lazy and stabbed it wide.

At times in that first half, the back three had looked a bit jittery & misfiring. All of them getting caught out at times by giving the ball away, or misjudging where they needed to be to tidy a through ball up. But. Equally, all three had enough skill & experience to recover from those mistakes & invariably get the ball back.

Again, in the second half, United should have scored more-or-less straight away. A great stand it up cross from Gomis, right on the noggin de Jebbison. Proper good hang time. But headed wide.

However, United soon (52 mins) got the game under control with an unusual corner routine. The wind swirling around Gresty Road. The corner flag to my left (the end we were defending) was being blown horizontal towards me. The corner flag to my right (the end were attacking) was being blown horizontal away from me. Down in that corner, on our right wing, left footed Andre Brooks attempted a number of inswinging corners with the wind behind him. Thing was. The ball wouldn't stay put. He'd put it in the quadrant. Bang it down. Make a little lip for it with his heel. And as he retreated for his run, the ball would blow away from him. Time after time. 

Eventually, he got enough purchase on one. Swung it right to Big Mig. His header was blocked, but it fell nicely for Gordon to hit home. (NOT in the style of Uremović right at the death at The Lane on Saturday!!!)

Substitutions on 68 had Buyabu & Ayari on for Gomis & Ndiaye. And that same Andre Brooks left footed from the right corner routine brought it all home on 74 minutes. Again, bang on Freckleton's head. This time, a calm header straight in for three nil.

Brooks had had enough of the wind by that time and was immediately replaced by Lankshear.

A beer you say? Fucking farce man. Some decent beer hits in Crewe obvs. But, not on a fucking Monday lunch or early afts. Come on. Just not happening that. I've not gone there to watch a football game. I've gone for the Beer. Fucking farce man. Can't wait to get out of this Tinpot League. (Hint, we can't get out of this Tinpot League).

So, on a day of train cancellations & hasty plan Bs. Let the record show…

The Brunswick Inn

1 Railway Terrace, Derby DE1 2RU

Yes. Derby. Get over yourself.

Brunswick Brewing Co, Rocket, New World IPA on Cask at 4.7%

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Infinity > Infinity+1

Derby County U23 4 v Sheffield United U23 3 

(After Extra Time 2-2 at 90 minutes) 

Premier League Cup Round of 16 

Monday 7 March 2022 

Played at Loughborough University Stadium 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #60 

The Loughborough University Stadium, home tonight of Derby County U23s is the 229th different ground I have seen a Sheffield United XI play on. (And my 388th Ground Tick).

Monday afternoons, man. Poor day for a game. Some of the main pub & bar targets hang the "Closed Mondays" signs up. We decided to go conservative, just to make sure we made the best of our valuable time. That turned out to be;

The Organ Grinder

4 Woodgate, Loughborough LE11 2TY

Part of the Blue Monkey Brewery (Giltbrook, Nottinghamshire) chain. Nice place. Very welcoming. Seven of their own on Cask. And one guest. I was slightly amused. As they've obviously hit on & honed down some key beer recipes & developed the brands. To mine that seam, they go to the variants.

So, they've got an IPA called Infinity, and they soup that up as Infinity Plus 1. They've got a Stout called Guerrilla, and they pimp that up as Chocolate Guerilla. I went…

Blue Monkey Brewery, Infinity, IPA on Cask at 4.6%

Brewed with Citra Hops. Indeed, packed so full of Citra, it doesn't taste of Citra. That's a Hot Take. It had most of what I want in a Cask beer. Bright & refreshing. Not too sweet. Full of flavour. Gentle bittering. But a tingle on the tongue.

Blue Monkey Brewery, Infinity Plus 1, IPA on Cask at 5.6% (or … 4.6+1% … if you prefer)

While we're just doing beer by equations

Infinity > Infinity+1

Blue Monkey Brewery, BG Sips, Pale Ale on Cask at 4%

Great beer. Clear as two bells that have had windowlene on 'em. Bit of nice soap. Hint of ginger bitter.

And, just like that, our 21/22 Premier League Cup campaign comes to a halt. The best way of summing it up is - typical cup game. A valiant & battling display by the underdog, (us v a Cat 1 Academy). A more controlled & patient display by the Cat 1 Academy (them). But we went ahead 3-2 ahead 7 minutes into Extra Time. And I'm here to testify, Derby weren't fucking controlled & patient after that. They knew they had to chase it. They did chase it. Successfully. Typical Cup Game. 

A large part of the blame for how the evening unfolded falls on the hunched shoulders of one of the Carrier Bag Firm Grandees. Remember this is U23 football, and not the "main league competition" either. This is a "format changes every season" Cup competition. Twenty minutes in. Twenty fucking minutes in. Twenty.

"Does this Cup go to Extra Time Phil?"

Well obviously it fucking does now you've jinxed it, mate.

Sure enough, last minute of normal time, two one down, everything bagged up, bus times checked, train times checked, Will Osula heads home a great ball from Ange Cappello to equalise.

My reaction does not show me in a good light…

"Oh what the Fuck has he done that for?"

So. You get the drift. Ding Dong cup game. Sachdev, Freckleton & Gomis as a three in front of Hiddleston. Starbuck out right. Buyabu out left. Peck, Arblaster & Brooks across the middle. Ange & Will Osula up top. 

Hassan Ayari one of the benchers. Maybe a bit unfair. But, I'm going to say it. One of the players who has not continued the breakthrough he made. Even more unfair, Sydie Peck not running & dominating games like "he was". Sydie is making the step from U18 to U23. So, it's a bigger ask.

I thought Cappello was the pick of our bunch. In the second half, Theo Williams replaced Buyabu. Meaning Ange moved more to Left Wingback. Up top. Wingback. Either way, constantly driving with the ball. Providing crosses for the similarly lively Osula. 

Oli Arblaster scored on 40 as we took the lead. But, The Rams equalised just on half time. And then they went ahead five minutes into half deux. Osula missed a penalty on 80. Before that last minute FFS equaliser.

Extra Time saw Will's second on 97. So, one nil up, missed a pen, last minute equaliser, three two up. I mean, as I write it down, that sounds good dunnit? But, goals on 110 & 118 brought it home for Derby. Typical Cup Game.

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Hit The Building

Sheffield United U23 4 v Hull City U23 0 

Professional Development League 

Tuesday 1 March 2022 

Played at Shirecliffe 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #58 

First things first, I'm primarily a Beer Blogger. Today's logistics meant that I didn't have a beer "associated" with that Academy game at Shirecliffe. But, shout out to the guy in the Detroit Lions wooly hat. He lives in Manchester. But had a day off work & needed to get to a game. So, Shirecliffe it was. And at half time, he reached into his bag & cracked open a tin of…

SALT, The Hop, Simcoe Edition at 5%

Move over. There's a new kid in town…

That was basically a complete team performance by the Young Blades. Everyone on their game. Knowing their jobs. Doing them. Didn't look to be a weak link out there. Even young Sachdev, normally a right back in a four for the U18s, was comfortable as right centre back in a three. Two up inside five minutes courtesy of Andre Brooks settled everything a lot. Early goals help.

Callum Hiddleston didn't have a lot to do. Sachdev, Big Mig Freckleton & Nicksoen Gomis as a three. A constantly marauding Femi Seriki on the right. (Replaced like for like by Joe Starbuck at half time while the Simcoe Edition was being cracked). Ange Cappello back to left wing back. Peck, Arblaster & Brooks across the mid. And Will Osula & Daniel Jebbison up top.

As I knew there'd be interest in a JebboWatch, I tried to keep tabs. At first, I thought it was Will on the right and Dan on 

the left. But, quickly, it all turned very fluid. I've already said it was a consummate display. So, I can clearly say Jebbison played well. He was certainly NOT head & shoulders above the other 21. Which is what you'd pray for. But, he was lively & involved & didn't hold back. On the day, I thought Osula looked a bit better. He seemed more mobile & looks for the ball more. He's got great ball at his feet skills.

On 30 minutes, he used those skills to the full. To the very brims I tells ye. Superb in n out twisty weavy stuff on the left. Picture perfect square ball onto Jebbison's toe. He hit home hard and low to make it 3-0. Daniel's celebration was prim, but proper. Pointing at his mucka Osula and acknowledging Will had done all the hard yards on that one. Assist with a big A and some capital Ss.

Somewhat surprisingly, neither Dan nor Will took a defensive role at Hull corners. Not that there were fucking many of those. It's such an important part of a modern striker's toolkit. 

So, Jebbison, under constant encouragement from Collins on the side, was very willing to close down & press. Speedy & trigonometric on the angles an' all. Also willing to come deep and show for the ball with his back to goal. For example, on 11 minutes, he came, brought it under close control, and turned to set up the attack. On 42, he came, flicked it left footed past his marker, and turned to win the run chase down the left. Dan looked strong running at defenders with the ball. A little ungainly maybe, certainly compared to Osula. But he wasn't afraid to put it on his left foot if that gave him an extra yard & a chance to get his shot off.

On 35 minutes, Andre Brooks fed Cappello wide left. He put a high cross to the edge of the six. Jebbison got on it, but there was no power in his looping header which dropped wide. Just before half time, Jebbison climbed very well for another cross from the left. This time, he got a load on it. And headed it down nicely. Nicely but wide!!!

I will say that the performances of both Jebbison & Osula were all the more impressive because Hull #5 (Festus Arthur) was ox strong & was very, very tight if/when the ball was played to his man.

Before all that shit, Brooks had put the game to bed, with the electric blanket on & a big fluffy fuck off duvet. On 4, Sydie Peck put a corner right under the bar. The City Hull keeper could only palm it upwards and not very far. Brooks knocked it in left footed. Within a minute, Seriki powered down the right, played the ball perfectly into Brooks stride & he powered it in along the deck.

In the second half, both Osula & Daniel joined the Shirecliffe Club. Membership awarded to those who shoot over the bar, over the netting, and Hit The Building.

And, on 73 minutes, Joe Starbuck finished it all off after great work by Ange on the left. My notes for the second half are non existent. One of the many joys of close to the action Academy football is you might get a chance to speak to someone who actually fucking knows what they are talking about. Indeed, I even asked the lino whether he could explain when the game can be brought back for a free kick after play on has been waved. (That was the Jebbo hitting the building incident. Because he'd gone on to create a chance and get a shot off, play couldn't be brought back for the obvious attempted trip on him).

I ended up discussing that with my neighbour. Who turned out to be scouting the game. Having had a career as a performance coach & head of talent ID and recruitment at a number of clubs including Nottingham Forest & Birmingham City. He felt Jebbison and United were wasting their time fetching him back from Burton. But, when I explained what had happened to Didzy & Rhian and that we were short on first team strikers, he understood the dilemma.

He felt there was a general problem across recruitment & player development of midfielders. Too many pocket rocket box to box titches & not enough Sander Berge esque huge enforcers. He pointed to Oliver Arblaster as an example. He said that even elite Academies like Arsenal & Spurs just seemed packed with small ball players.

He was a Big Fan of players being loaned to National League clubs for their development. Even more so than L1 or L2. Under close questioning, he checked his notes, Gomis - looking at him out there, how do we know he can defend? If he was in a National League game he'd have to make a header every two minutes & a tackle every 90 seconds, then we'd know whether he can defend…

Fair point fella.

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11 Tick Horizon

Sheffield United U23 1 v Peterborough United U23 0 

Premier League Cup, Group D 

Sunday 13 February 2022 

Played at Chesterfield 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #52 

That win at Chesterfield puts the U23s into the last 16 knockout stage of the Premier League Cup. Peterborough & Burnley still have to play each other. But, they both can’t get above us. Even though Everton have finished their group games, they are still in the mix. So, it’s one of those three to join us in the knockouts. Monday night saw a whole host of other groups get sorted. We join 13 other deffos. And there are still 5 clubs in contention in as yet unfinished groups.

We are unabashed. The Carrier Bag Firm love this competition. As it always provides opportunities for ground ticking. I’ve audited & listed the teams still in it. And, the grounds they have used so far in this year’s competition.

(Ground(s) listed are where the club have played PL Cup Group games already this season.)

West Bromwich Albion - Telford United

Arsenal - Boreham Wood

Middlesbrough Bishop Auckland

Queens Park Rangers - Wealdstone & Imperial College Sports Ground

Derby County - Loughborough University Stadium

Charlton Athletic - Dartford & Dulwich Hamlet 

Wigan Athletic - Lancashire FA County Ground & Christopher Park Training Ground

West Ham United - Rush Green Training Ground

Wolverhampton Wanderers - St George’s Park Burton-On-Trent & Kidderminster Harriers

Huddersfield Town - John Smith’s Stadium

Newcastle United - Northumberland County FA Ground Whitley Park

Fulham - Motspur Park Training Ground

Stoke City - Newcastle Town

Plus one of

Leeds United - York City

Mansfield Town - Field Mill

Plus one of

Everton - Southport

Peterborough - London Road

Burnley - Lancashire FA County Ground

I have ELEVEN potential ticks among those.. (Although lots of games at St George’s Park, Burton-On-Trent are behind closed doors). My understanding is that the Round of 16 is straight, one leg knockout. And, I’m expecting a free draw (rather than regionalised or seeded). Do not ask me when. Just do not.

A simple reminder to those new to the Premier League Cup. Any Academy team can apply to enter. Not all do. Some of the “Big Guns” play in the UEFA Youth League, so don’t really have fixture space to enter the PL Cup as well. For us, it’s a great opportunity to mix it with Cat 1 Academies. We can do that at U18 in the FA Youth Cup. This is the chance at U23. As you can see Cat 3 Mansfield Town survive at the moment as do Cat Non Existent Huddersfield Town. The PL CUp was a major Covid casualty. The 2019/20 & 2020/21 versions were both effectively cancelled. United didn’t progress out of the Group Stage in 2018/19. But, we were in the Semi Final as recently as 2017/18. Knocked out away at Swansea (I was at that one).

After covering that look to a ground ticking future, there's not much to see here otherwise. The drink up was in the very consistent;

The Glass Works

388 Sheffield Rd, Chesterfield S41 8LF

Brampton Brewery, 1302, Pale Ale on Cask at 4%

Beer Of The Week in the pub. Making it £2.60 a pint. Gotta love that. I found it quite sweet at first. But, as I got at it properly, it was underpinned by a good bitter whack.

Brampton Brewery, Kuiper Belt, Golden Ale on Cask at 5.5%

This was the only new beer tick for me apart from the 1302. So I had it before piling back into the £2.60s. I thought there was a bit of off putting sour in the initial taste. But, it was a nicely balanced beer if you persevered.

I did a Carrier Bag Firm headcount. I made it THREE who did the Double Header of the SUFC Women’s 4-0 win in the afts & the U23s 1-0 win in the evening. (Not me I’m afraid). But, only ONE CBF DON who did the Women’s Game, the full afternoon sesh on the £2.60 Pints in the afts and the U23 game. These people walk amongst us…

And that felt like a controlled, if unspectacular win for the U Two Threes. A centre three in front of Callum Hiddleston. Joe Starbuck continuing the experiment on the right (rather than wing back). Nicksoen Gomis on the left. Ky Gordon doing his pointing and shaping role in the centre. Femi Seriki out right. Jili Buyabu out left. Peck & arblaster in more formal midfield roles. Brooks roaming. Theo Williams up top with Mr Versatility Ange Cappello. 

Being picky, I’m hoping Arblaster & Peck can develop into players who make things happen, as well as players who can control the game. But, they certainly controlled this one. Just one nil felt bizarre really given the number of chances we had. Seriki in particular was marauding forward constantly. The goal came on 30 minutes when Femi got a ball in from the right. It sort of looped and bounced around. Before falling perfectly for Ange coming in off the left to drill it home. 

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Are You Allowed Up The Slope

Wigan Athletic U23 1 v Sheffield United U23 2 

Professional Development League 

Monday 24 January 2022 

Played at Christopher Park, Wigan 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #44 

(No Beer Day)

Wigan Athletic's Training Complex at Christopher Park (main stand pictured) is the 227th different ground I've watched a Sheffield United XI play on. And the 380th different ground I've watched any football on. A big sprawling place, on different levels, making it hard to gauge the full geography. We were allowed on a lower bit. Maybe room for three grass pitches. We couldn't really see the upper bit, but the steward explained that's where the First Team train.

As we stood along the touchline at the U23s, there was a slight grass bank incline behind us. Then a serious security fence. Then what looked like a path, then the second fence surrounding the First Team area. The Carrier Bag Firm radars engaged. If that was a public footpath, separating the Academy & First Team pitches. And if it was ever Behind Closed Doors here. Would you just be able to see in from that path? This is the sort of info the CBF crave. Sure enough, lady walking dog lollops past. Then a v noisy trail motorbike, two passengers, no helmets, bag of cans, screamed along. Then, fuck me, a car drove up it. Conclusive. You can go along that path & see in.

Avid readers may know that I love a bit of training ground nonsense about who is allowed to stand where. Ridiculous Rules. An absolute doozy here at Christopher Park. Remember that slight grass bank incline I mentioned? A Wigan steward was walking along the touchline. Asking people (including the CBF) if we were a) Agents/Scouts or b) mere spectators. Agents/Scouts HAD to stand up the bank. Mere spectators HAD to stand on the flat. I mean. OK pal. (Shrugs).

Stuart McCall was here, in civvies not trakkies. Over on the spectator side, not the dugout side. He was allowed up the slope (FFS). Michael Collins & Aidy Boothroyd were both over in the dugouts.

The Young Blades will have been disappointed to only win two one. Despite a faltering start to the second half, they were very much in control. Wigan had a man sent off on 65 minutes. It was already 2-1 by then. One of the Carrier Bag Firm Coneheads has calculated that I have seen Blades teams play against 10 men for about 2 hours in the last week and fail to score. #Facts

Callum Hiddleston was in goal. Kyron Gordon set up in the middle of a three, Jean Belehouan on his right, Nicksoen Gomis on his left. Joe Starbuck wide right. Oft striker (see later) Angelo Cappello wide left wing back. Peck, Arblaster, Brooks across midfield. Leo Gaxha & Hassan Ayari up top.

Gordon had an odd game. Taking more of an organising than an active role. He looked to be misjudging most punts & clearances as they sailed towards him. He had a mad minute early on. One forward pass to his left was to no one. Not no one in particular, just no one. Then, he banged a what the fuck has he done that for lateral pass to his right straight out of play and up the bank. 

United started brightly, with wingbacks Starbuck and Ange pushed very high. In just the 4th minute, Sydie Peck fed Cappello out left. Gaxha put his low cross into the side netting. But, United conceded the first goal on 12.

A weak, looping, backward defensive header from Gordon put the ball back into the penalty area no man's land. Hiddleston was a little stranded & unsure. He was a bit clumsy wrapping himself around the attacker. The penalty was given. No complaints. Great shot to the keeper's left. As he went right.

However, I'd barely finished writing the notes before the equaliser. Featuring what became "a thing" as the game progressed. Hassan took a left wing corner, right footed, and swung it deep to the back post, where it curled in, as the keeper flapped.

Within minutes, he'd scuffed the next inswinging corner, this one hitting the foot of the near post. Not to be outdone, Ange Cappello was trying the same thing, left footed from corners on our right. Shirecliffe must have been a right fucking laugh last week. 

They soon got bored shitless of that though. By the 27th minute, Hassan was working short corners and triangle passes from the left. The resulting cross was half cleared. That fell perfectly to Arblaster just inside the box. Sure, it fell nicely. Sure, it opened up in front of him. But, you've still got to execute. Right footed. Top corner. Two one up.

A number of these players are very strong going forward. All of Belehouan, Cappello, Starbuck & Seriki (who came on later) made surging runs with the ball. Sure, they sort of run out of ideas & options eventually. But, we're sixty yards further forward & still broadly in possession. So long as other players offer support, it'll work. 

Wigan started the second half brightly. A poor pass from Peck put Ky Gordon under pressure, but the Mud Hutter striker shot into Callum's hands. On 50, Leo Gaxha was injured in one of those both players kick hard at the ball things & limped off. He has a ski boot on at the changing block when we walked past at FT. Femi Seriki came on as right wingback. Joe Starbuck moved over to left wingback & Ange Cappello (yes, you've guessed it) went up top. Some reshuffle that.

Arblaster & Peck were solid in midfield. Tidying up. Covering. And moving the ball calmly & accurately. Andre Brooks had more of an up & down game. At times, rather anonymous, with the game passing him by. But, he also ended up with probably the most chances of any of our young 'uns. He would hug the edge of the box. Or arrive on the penalty spot on time. For cut backs & squares. Some shots over the top. Some tamely into the keeper.

The best chance of the second half fell to Femi Seriki, who found himself with the ball at his feet in the inside left channel (I know…). He slipped, when it looked easier to score. It was that sort of day. A good few chances. Not taken. And just occasionally sloppy at the back.

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Ayari Pulls U23 Rank

Sheffield United U23 3 v Barnsley U23 2 

Professional Development League 

Tuesday 11 January 2022 

Played at Bramall Lane 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #38 

No Beer Day. So, if that's the content you're here for you're luckless. Sorry.

One O'Clock kick off at The Lane. Of course, Carrier Bag Firm Twitter LIT UP at 12:49. With the club announcing Michael Collins has been promoted (?) to U23s Lead Coach, Aidy Boothroyd has been appointed as a coach mentor and consultant at the Academy. And Del Geary has been promoted to Academy Manager. I'll be corrected, but that's the position held by Nick Cox, Travis Binnion & Jack Lester. Running the whole shooting match.

Now. I'm NO expert. Self-Proclaimed or otherwise. (winks - am). But I picture the Academy Manager as someone with knowledge of strategy, structure, policy. And, I always pictured Travis & I'll now allow myself to say Del as Hands On Coaches. And, I think there's a difference. And I'd imagine the step up from hands on coach to head honcho is a, well a big fucking step. So, Del can benefit from my good luck with that face.

I think it's interesting how much promotion from within is going on. I'm very, very inclined to that. But, Aidy Boothroyd will divide opinion. Aidy has sort of been my manager before. I was in Italy & San Marino in 2019 for the disastrous England campaign at the U21 EUROs. But, I also saw his England U21 team win the Tournoi Maurice Revello in 2018. What I'm going to hang onto at the moment is - isn't he supposed to be coaching the coaches, not the players. Given what I've said about Del, and the promotion from within difficulties, I think Boothroyd is an intelligent appointment. Although, I know I may have to concede in the future - right job, wrong person. 

Del sat in the stands. Collins prowled the dugout area. Boothroyd put his bins on and stood in the tunnel next to the dugout, occasionally putting pen to paper as an idea arrived. At one point, during the game, Collins came over to him for an in depther.

I'm not sure what to make of that team put out by Michael Collins. Mad time of the year innit? Shop Window. Get Match Fit. Get Game Time. What do you reckon? The misfits were Jake Eastwood, Adlène Guedioura and Rhian Brewster. Surely it's get match fit for Rhi? Maybe it's game time for Adlène? Maybe it's game time for Jake?

If there's an offer to Adlène from another club, maybe we'll let him move on. He just doesn't fit the M.O. now Jokanovic has been binned. Of course, as a 36 year old in an Under 23 side, Adlène had the Carrier Bag Firm digging out their best Who Do Think You Are skills. He's 36, Brooks, Seriki & Osula among the starting XI are half his age at just 18. Love owt like that.

I'm thinking they're thinking of persevering with Eastwood at the moment. For the rest of the season, they'll need three spongy glovers. Verrips is off. One will be Olsen if he stays, one might be someone else if Olsen goes. Jake could play an important (maybe non starting) role.

So. A good battling win for the Blades. Probably just about deserved. But it took a Leo Gaxha winner on 89, after Barnsley had equalised on 85. (Great to see Leo back btw). I thought there were periods when United were well on top. When Barnsley couldn't get anything to work going forward. But, once the Subs Twilight Zone kicked in, Barnsley did have a bit more of it.

Ange Cappello kept up his streak of seeming to alternate between up top & (today) left wing back. Femi Seriki was wide right wingback. Starbuck, Belehouan & Gomis across the three. Guedioura playing deep in midfield. Very willing to point & tell others what to do while watching players ghost past him. Not really a criticism. That's the nature of this particular beast. Hassan Ayari & Andre Brooks making up the rest of midfield. Rhian & Will Osula up top.

I'm going to single out Ayari. Who had a much better game than recently. I wondered whether he just benefitted from having Guedioura looking after everything behind him. And Brewster making all the runs & shapes in front of him. The Carrier Bag Firm had the - good players play better with good players - chat.

As early as 4, Guedioura fed Hassan who fed Rhian. I thought he was a bit greedy with his shot. Good. Love a greedy striker, me. Guedioura had a shot of his own go just wide a couple of minutes later. 

I've known what I thought about Brewster from way back when. Impressive kid. Lot to like. Think he works hard. Man, needs to be absolutely brutal when he gets a chance in the box, but often looks like they just pass him by. For eg, great move down the right on 18, great cross, but Rhian just seemed to hang a leg at it. Two minutes later, Andre Brooks on the left put a great ball to the penalty spot. Maybe Rhian didn't have the confidence to hit it first time. But, by stopping it & turning, he gave the Barnsley defender time to block.

And. Wouldn't you know it. United conceded a sloppy goal on 22. A great Barnsley move down the right. A lovely low cross. Clumsy to no marking, Jake seemed rooted & static. The kid has knocked it in.

Maybe the next Young Blade I'm going to single out is Femi Seriki. He looks like he's getting back some of that strong, surging forward vibe. Deffo suited to being part of a five. I still think he runs out of ideas a bit at times when he gets up there. Hassan fed Femi on 27 & he was able to cut inside & get his shot off. Probs on target, but deflected over the top.

Great equaliser on 28. Ange took a left footed corner from the right. Brewster arrived at the near post for Plan A, and put a calm, accurate header home. United were really pressing in the period up to half time.

On 34, Osula showed great control & fed Cappello on the left. I felt he made a bit of a bollocks of the cross. Looked too deep. But Ayari didn't give up on it. With great one touch skill, he made to knock it back into the box. But it hit a Barnsley hand. 

I think Hassan (correctly) pulled a bit of U23 rank on Rhian as they debated who was going to take it. Maybe falling short of fuck off back to the first team. But, no doubt as Hassan rifled it to the keeper's right for 2-1.

Barnsley got it together a bit after HT. All rather cagey for a bit. The subs came on 60. Guedioura & Brewster off. Staniland & Gaxha on. There was a great chance on 65. A flowing move down the left. Cappello had one shot, and Ayari had two, the second just wide. Despite that, I thought we were nowhere near as bright, lively & solid following those subs. Eastwood made a great save on 77 to keep us in it. Good strong wrists to palm away a free kick from the edge of the box.

And. It all went to shit on 85 for the Barnsley equaliser after a good deal of pressure from them. Clumsy defending, followed by clumsy from Eastwood. He seemed to have already smothered the man with the ball, but got tangled and brought him down. Penalty. Converted.

But. Let's finish on a HIGH. Just as the Carrier Bag Firm were cranking up the Geary Outs, lovely little Leo Gaxha has stamped into it. Solo. From wide right. Wriggling an' a Weaving. Has a glorious go at a tight angle shot.

And. Wins. It.

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The Three Survivors

Sheffield United U23 1 v Everton U23 3 

Premier League Cup, Group D 

Thursday 6 September 2022 

Played at Chesterfield 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #36 

That's put a bit of a dent in the chances of qualifying for the knockout stages of the Premier League Cup. We now lie third, on 4 points, 2 to play. Three points behind Peterborough & five points behind Everton.

One of the Carrier Bag Firm has just reminded me we beat Everton 3-1 (at Southport) in September. And then mused about how many of the starting XI from that night survived to the return fixture.Three. Starbuck, Cappello, Gomis. Of those, Starbuck was right wingback at Southport, but right centre back at Chesterfield. Cappello was left wingback at Southport, but up top (ish) in a two at Chesterfield. Nicksoen Gomis played left centre back in both games.

What does that demonstrate? Correct. The impressive record keeping & attention to detail of the CBF. And also, the amount of churn you can get at Academy U23 football.

There'd been some speculation Everton may play a weakened side tonight. Using their best U23s in the FA Cup this coming Saturday. Anyway, as an aside, Everton started five players tonight who had started in the September fixture. Zan-Luk Leban, Mackenzie Hunt, Reece Welch, Lewis Warrington, Tom Cannon.

So. It was Amissah betwixt sticks. Seriki wide right. Buyabu wide left. Starbuck, Belehouan, Gomis across the three. Ayari, Charlie Staniland & Brooks. With Ange & Will Osula up top.

Fair fucks to Chaz Staniland. I think that's his first start for the U Two Threes. He's been whacked into centre holding mid. With the where the fuck have they gone now roamers of Ayari & Brooks somewhere else. He often seemed a lone man in midfield. He did very well. Not much by way of taking it off the keeper & centre backs. But great positionally. Quick at closing his man. And nice and simple with the ball. Playing mainly facing his opponents goal.

I increasingly worry about Ayari. Anonymous for great swathes. And then not executing what he is actually good at - for eg set piece free kicks. I know they've fucked Ange Cappello about with what position they want him. And I know he was a bit freer up top tonight. But, as a smallish, impact, ball at his feet player, he looked much, much better than Hassan tonight.

Interesting that they tried Starbuck as a right CB. When he first arrived, and played right back/wingback, he was a constant attacking threat. But, I feel that has trickled away in more recent games. Seriki, Starbuck & Gomis provided a strong & marauding threat from the back. Buyabu is a bit smaller, but is powerful going forward. Jean Belehouan just anchored it in the middle.

I'd sum it up as - they were tending to burst with the ball at their feet from very deep, rather than overlap or support other players, although they were difficult to knock off the ball, eventually they just ran out of space & options. That basically tells the tale. A disjointed performance all round. Very little link up play. Relying mainly on individual skills. Lacking off the ball movement.

Cappello & Osula were lively enough. But collectively we couldn't really get anything going. The very early, 3rd minute, opener essentially came from a Nicksoen maraud forward in the left channel. That broke down a bit, but the ball fell wide to Cappello. He put a decent shot in. The keeper got a lot on it. But was ahead of himself & spilled it right to Will Osula. He bundled it home. 

Everton goals on 25, 45 & 49 brought it all home for David Unsworth's & Jose Baxter's boys. I'm not saying Everton were miles ahead of us. But that was a deserved win.

The pre match wait for the Teamsheets was in Carrier Bag Firm HQ East Mids - The Glassworks. Obviously, as a Brampton Brewery Tap, we're increasingly relying on Cask rotation for Beer Ticks. But, it's a great pub.

Brampton Brewery, Wasp Nest, English Bitter on Cask at 5%.

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On My Pants I Spilled Expectorant

Coventry City U23 2 v Sheffield United U23 0 U23 Professional Development League 

Tuesday 14 December 2021 

Played at The Alan Higgs Centre 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #33 

Coventry did a number on us there. We looked second best in all departments. I can see why they top the division. Strong, fit powerful lads. Well drilled and switched on. There were brief periods where it looked like the Young Blades had gone. Heads dropping. Ratty with each other. And niggling with the Covos. So, credit, they kept it to just two for 80 minutes, after conceding two early goals. We had a few chances. But even they were snapped at or lame n tame.

United set up as a back three with wingbacks. And it didn't work. Time & time, Coventry were playing balls down the wings, in between the wing backs & centre back for their players to run onto. Inch perfect many of them. When that didn't look on, they were happy to hit it over the wingbacks into space. Again, with precision.

Centre backs getting dragged all over the gaff.

United have an important FA Youth Cup game the day after this visit to Coventry. And I think that will have influenced team selection a bit. George Dickinson was making his U23 debut. One of the subs was 15 year old Kurtis Havenhand. Even "bringing back" loanees Maguire, Gomis & Neal for the day, it still felt like we were bare boning it.

And. Let's talk about Harrison Neal. This pocket rocket, box to box, or holding midfielder set up as the middle centre back in a three. And, played very statically. It looked horrendous. At the beginning of the second half, he made three howlers in the first three minutes. Hoofing a clearance high into the West Midlands Stratosphere, straight up, with no control whatsoever, eventually conceding a corner off that. Then, being caught in absolute no man's land, coming deep left for his man, realising he maybe shouldn't be there & retreating without getting within 6 yards of him. And then completely miscontrolling a ball in his own box.

Look. I'm a big H Neal fan. Maybe they wanted to have a look at him at the back. As they did a few times with Ben Whiteman. I'm all for that. Maybe they just wanted to pull him out of his comfort zone to see how he coped (hint - he didn't). I'm all for that. Maybe they wanted to play a three against what they knew would be a strong Sky Blues, but didn't really have the personnel & had to juggle. If it's an experiment, it's got a long way to go.

Grant on his right, with Starbuck outside him. Gomis on his left, with Ange Cappello outside him. I feel for Ange, man. One week left wingback. One week up top. Can't be doing him any good. Maguire trying to anchor the chaos around him. Andre Brooks & Debut Dickinson helping out in midfield. Will Osula & Hassan Ayari up top.

Coventry got all the work done early. On just four minutes, a powerful run in the inside right channel & a low shot. The Carrier Bag Firm were left perplexed as to how that beat Jordan. And then on 11 minutes. Just a great goal to watch to put City two up. How football should be played. At purpose, at pace, but with a whole heap of simplicity. A great inside the defender pass out to the left wing (yes, that fucking move again). A good low cross deep into the six yard. Jordan scrabbling across to see what he can do. But a simple, get everything on it, knock in at the far post.

The Blades had a chance on 26. Great work by Cappello on the left. His good deep cross found Hassan at the back stick. But, he really should have done better. His tame shot was straight into the keeper's hands.

But City finished the half much the stronger. And two up. Their striker was all over Neal, getting his body in the right place & holding him off easily. More than once an' all.

My notes simply say - getting mullered down our left.

Coventry pressed really well all the game. Not just harem scarem, run at him. But, collectively, intelligently as a group. Closing the angles, stopping the outlets.

But United did have a chance to claw something back on 61. A high cross saw Osula muff his header, more or less hitting his own feet. As the ball bounced loose, Ayari hit the side netting. Typical of the day.

Osula was our main attacking threat. Busy all afternoon. I think Ayari coasts a bit at times.

Havenhand subbed for Osula on 66. And to end the whole shambling affair, Grant was red carded with five to go.

The Carrier Bag Firm have also asked me to explain - there were no fucking teamsheets either…

A much more enjoyable sequel in;

Hops d'Amour Micropub

67 Corporation St, Coventry CV1 1GX

A single room, shop front micro. Clearly lots of regulars in. Bloke stood at the bar offering me recommendations (I don't mind that). Bar person happy to explain what's on. Local Ales clearly marked. Six on the Sticks. And four pukka keg. Superb place. Worth the trip.

I'm often asked "Phil, you often quote song lyrics in your Blog, what's your all time favourite rhyming couplet?"

Easy.

"On my pants I spilled expectorant

And the colonel shot better with 30 pints"

This classic brought to your aurals in Underground Medicine by The Fall.

Now, it so happens that three Cov Lads got together, formed a small brewery, and named it Underground Medicine after THAT Fall song. So, today, I went;

Underground Medicine, Lizard Lounge, Blackberry Gose on Cask at a lip lickable 3%

I'm reliably informed that the Blackberries were foraged locally, but the Sea Salt wasn't. The salt was a bit of a shock to the system initially, very dominant. But, as you get down it & get with the program, it does all go well in the balance with the berries. 3.5/5

Underground Medicine, Dig For Fire, Pale Ale on Keg at 4.2%

(Itself named after a Pixies track). I found that a bit thin & uninspiring at first. But as I settled in, there was some nice orange sugar. Simple, well put together pale. 3.5/5

But, DEFFO Outstanding Beer Of The Day was;

Byatt's, HopLab Twinkle, Pale Ale on Cask at 4.8%

Absolutely brilliant. Right up there. Amarillo, Admiral, Mandarina & Bavaria Hops. The orange marmalade really comes through. And there's a great hit of lingering bitterness to send you on your way. 4/5

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Strikers Gonna Strike

Sheffield United U23 2 v Crewe Alexandra U23 0 

U23 Professional Development League 

Tuesday 7 December 2021 

Played at Chesterfield 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #31 

Well. I must say. The Glassworks. The pub of choice. Just opposite the Chesterfield FC turnstiles. Is really growing on me. Obvs, we don't get the chance to go there all that often. But, it's feeling niiiiice to have a base. Always a core range of Brampton Beers on. And usually some of their specials rotating around. But, tonight, it was a guest cask that grabbed us.

Vocation Brewery, Bread & Butter, Dry Hopped Pale on Cask at 3.9%

Supped to universal approval by the Carrier Bag Firm. (Except the one who can only drink brown beers). It hit me so hard, that I remarked, to the whole pub, oooohhhh that is lovely. It didn't have that harshness that some dry hopped beers have. But, it was packed full of Hoppy Hopefulness. Floral. Mouthfilling. And delivered enough bitter in the finish so that you couldn't wait for the next gob full. Just excellent.

Brampton Brewery, Mild on Cask at 4.9%

One of those dark milds that's on the way to being a Guinness buster. Lots of dried fruit sultanas and/or currants all over it. Loved it.

Right. Was there a game? Too cold to make detailed notes. Too much bollocks to be talked to make detailed notes. Too much Vocation Bread & Butter to make detailed notes. It's pen picture time. Here goes no notes…

Jack Lester was here. Del Geary was here. The Carrier Bag Firm were passing around an online job advertisement for the role of lead U23 coach to replace Heckingbottom - deadline 20 December. It turned out that our current Head Of Individual Player Development, Michael Collins was taking the lead in the dugout on the night.

Jean Belehouan posted on his So Meed that he'd been out injured for 284 fucking days. Great to see him back. The best feedback I can give is - looked like he'd never been away. Strong & switched on from the off. Fitting neatly into a back three. Marauding forward on a couple of occasions. Didn't look remotely out of place.

And. The lesser spotted Will Osula also back from injury. Will replaced Angelo Cappello up top on 61. What can I say? The boy looks and plays like a striker. Facing goal. Barreling through with the ball. It would be a little unfair to say he changed the game. But, the U Two Threes have had to play with makeshift strikers a lot this season. And Will just made us more of an attacking threat immediately. His goal, on 87, sealed it for the Blades. He runs with it from deep. Gets closed down. The ball drops free to Hassan. But because Will continues his run, Hassan can do what he does well. A clever ball back right into Osula's stride and a calm, never in doubt, finish.

Hassan (Ayari) is not an out & out striker in my view. Him & Ange Cappello had kept at it all night. United pretty much dominated the game. There were chances. But I feel neither of those two are capable of stamping on a game up top. I've reviewed the footage. And I'm going to say Fuck Knows how Hassan has scored from that edge of the box free kick on 45. The wall has NOT done the job there.

I found Iliman disappointing. If you're going to be a breakthrough player mate, you've got to break through. Partly, I feel the same way about Iliman as I do Ayari & Cappello. If you're flair players. With the hips & flicks. You've got to be in the game ALL the time. You can't be anonymous. Contrast their performances with David Brooks at the same stage. Brooksy was in the game all the time. Running, chasing, spacing. I've seen a fair bit of Iliman. Sure. People say he can sometimes be easily knocked off the ball. That's due to his unbalanced body position, which is actually a strength, he's never where the opposition expect him. And, when he loses it, he can be tenacious about winning it back. He needs to build his game around that relentless style. He didn't tonight.

Harvey Cullinan. Playing tonight in a three with Gordon & Belehouan. Harvey had a really good game. He's coming on bounds & leaps. He reads the game well. He's a forceful organiser. Switched on. Always at his man. Forwards don't run at him, because they haven't got the space to. He's calm & sensible on the ball as well.

Harrison Neal absolutely bossed midfield. He's got a good all round game. Another one that's always at his man. More of a simple, pick the man out, passer of the ball, than a Hollywood Cross Fielder. (Although he has got that in him). Win. Recycle. His short passes tend to be forward & between the lines. Bossed it.

Lots of good shifts from the not mentioned as well. Crewe didn't really offer much of a threat going forward. A good, efficient performance from the Blades.

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