I prefer Lard

England 303 all out
v South Africa 214 all out
England 326 all out
South Africa 136-4
close on Day 4

Tuesday 29 December 2015

Kingsmead, Durban

60 South African Beer Ticks

Twitter @ball_sup

The Cricket

Come on. Come on. It'd be superb to go to Newlands one up. Few cracks appearing in the Saffer ranks. Grow confidence. Come on.

That said. England's innings fizzled out. Root giving off the face slip catching practice. Stokes done going for the reverse. FFS. Just milk the runs that are available.

Nice knock from Bairstow though. Paced it right.

And then. Maybe they didn't bowl at their best. A few wide ones. Runs at will at times. But Elgar & Amla ended up chasing out wide & getting out.

It needs patience at times. And so. We got to a regulation position. A good few runs. But four wickets eventually. New Ball will be just after lunch. Come on.

Sponsor Bollocks

Can you hear me Clem Fandango. High Fives all round at the planning meeting. Sponsors invading the space & your ears is the norm now. But, they're surpassing themselves here at Kingsmead.

Main sponsors are Sunfoil. Sun tan cream. Am I right? No. Cooking oil. So in no particular order. Big inflatable bottle of oil as tall as the scoreboard at Cow Corner. Two dozen beach parasols and flags forming a cooking oil enclave.

But, it's at lunch where the creative minds have delivered. A sort of English fan vs Saffer jokey Masterchef. No. Really.

They bring out the job lot. Gas bottles, cooking rings, whisks, the lot. They are given a host of ingredients. To be fried in Sunfoil natch. And they have a fucking cook off. There. At Long On to the Right Hander. With commentary & mid cook interviews. The Lot.

As you leave the ground, you are offered Cook Books. No. You really are. And on Day 2. Margarine. All this shit is normal now. But, write it down & it's mental.

In the North Stand, I had the misfortune to sit near a fella who would have a title like - on field sponsors reach coordinator. He was Mission Control. Making sure the geezers with microphones mention the Sponsors names the correct number of times. He had a discussion IN MY HEARING on the merits of an on field cook off involving separating egg whites. Big thumbs up from The Sunfoil Suits.

The Beer

Porcupine Quill Brewing Co., African Veld Ale, Pale Export from a bottle at 5.5%.

Porcupine Quill Brewing Co., Kalahari Gold from a bottle at 4.5%.

256/525