Perm three from four

Australian 442-8 declared
v England 29-1
close on Day 2

Second Ashes Test

Played at Adelaide

Sunday 3 December 2017

425 Australian Beer Ticks (still)

Wayne Phillips played 27 Tests for Australia as a wicketkeeper batsman. He scored 159 on Test Debut v Pakistan in Perth.

Greg Matthews played 33 Tests for Australia as an off spinner, who batted.

These two were hosts at the Hospitality we had on Day Two in the Ian McLachlan Room at the Oval. Both sent from Central Casting. Poms this. Poms that. Matthews in particular was all - I love sledging me, the harder the better, there is a line though, Australia never cross it, I love sledging me, don't cross the line though, not like Ramnaresh Sarwan did with Glenn McGrath, did I say, I love sledging me, Poms hey, aren't they shit?

That's the issue with sledging. Australia think they own the rules. Whatever they say - McGrath to Sarwan “what does Brian Lara’s dick taste like?”. Is the right side of the line. Whatever is fired back - “I don't know, ask your wife”. Is over the line. Oh, do Fuck Off.

I was quite proud of myself. As Greg Matthews finished his bit of the double act, always staying his side of the non fucking existent line. I just shouted - MORE.

One of the fellas on my table turned out to be South Australia Plod. Handy. As he could explain the booze rules to me. The Bevvy situation was;
Sparkling wine
White wine
Red wine (Shiraz)
Beer - one of the industrial Buffoon Juice offerings

That sounds right doesn't it? Tables of ten. Thrown together. Men. Women. Old. Young. Three hours to go at it. Bubbles, Red, White, Buffoon Juice. How could they shag that up. Get Ready. The Booze Rules allow each table to only have three types of drink on the table at once. Read that again. Four booze food groups. Bubbles, Red, White, Beer. Three on the go.

The Carrier Bag Firm were catching the waitress eye.

“May we have another bottle of Sparkling Wine please?”
“No, I'm sorry, this fella has got a Sauv Blanc going on, matey there has Shiraz & there's a Lager over there”

No. Really. A Booze Audit. Every fucking time you asked for a drink. At one stage, I had to cane a jug of ale, just so some other Random Punter could order Shiraz. All the while being told - “there is a line…”

As an aside. The way they served the grub was strangely Australian an' all. The menu said Beef and/or Lamb "alternate drop". We thought, maybe one day it's Beef, the next day Lamb. Or maybe they ask you - "would you prefer the Beef, or the Lamb?" No. No. No. I was the first on our table to be served. Lamb was whacked down for me. No choice. Whack.

That meant that Mrs Ball Sup got Beef whacked for her. Then, alternately around the table. One Beef. One Lamb. Meat Roulette. We swapped. I had Beef. Fight the system...

So. The Supping part of today's Balls was all of Sparkling Wine, White Wine, Red Wine, Industrial Lager. Perm three from four. Don't have too many though. You don't want to embarrass yourself by mentioning McGrath's wife.

569/1202