CBF POOP

Crewe Alexandra U23 5 v Sheffield United U23 1

U23 Professional Development League

Wednesday 23 October 2019

Played at Alexandra Park Training Ground

SUFC 2019/20 Game 33

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The Carrier Bag Firm, man, they'll get you every time. Never cease to amaze me. Look I love them all to bits. Some of the nicest people you'll ever meet. I've named ‘em, I’ve blamed ‘em, but you'll never shame ‘em. Their Pursuit Of Obscure Paper (POOP) has gone to ridiculous lengths tonight. My thoughts are with poor Reece York. Look that was a very difficult day in the dirt for these Young Blades. Reece York was Captain for the day. Constantly trying to drive his troops forward and get them playing. Cajoling, encouraging, blowing his top at times if the truth be told. Box To Box. As is his usual procedure. It’ll be no great consolation me calling him Man of the Match, in what was a shockingly bad team performance. I don't mind admitting that as I was walking to the gate I did contemplate shouting “well played” over to Reece. Anyway, the Carrier Bag Firm like to make a quick getaway after the whistle. I was already halfway into the back of the car when one of the Baggers shouted us down asking for a minute.

“What's he doing?” we thought.

Someone suggested he was waiting to have a go at the ref (he has form)

Someone suggested he was waiting to have a go at United’s coaching staff (he has form)

“What's he doing Phil?”

“Mate, it looks like he's speaking to Reece York, he kept telling me he thought he’d played well. Maybe he’s thanking & congratulating him”

“Yes, that must be it, What a nice fella”

Anyway he’s eventually waddled back to the car and the inquisition starts. Turns out - he needs the Teamsheat and other associated meaningless bits of paper from the Under 23s forthcoming game away at Hull City on Saturday night. He himself will be at West Ham. He knows Reece's parents often turn up at games to support their Lad. So he's only brazenly gone & tried to co-opt Reece’s Mum to snaffle the Teamsheets for him. The CBF man!

Jean Belehouan, Ashton Hall and Kyron Gordon setup as the back three. Keenan Ferguson out wide right. Stephen Mallon out wide left. It needs saying, there was some appalling defending by United in this game. Standing off. Switching off. Nowhere near tight enough. Static. And giving the ball away. What a list. All I will say is that they looked marginally better when Kyron Gordon switched to the right of the three. But they got mercilessly punished by an excellent Alex team, who looked really strong and powerful all afternoon. Crewe looked very good and confident at close passing across the back line. Completely different to the hot potato approach of our defence.

It felt like on the rare occasions our centre backs pushed forward with the ball into central midfield, they got robbed. With Crewe breaking quickly to either score or otherwise create havoc.

Sam Ackroyd and Jake Young really couldn't get anything going up top at all. They always looked miles apart from each other. It barely made any difference when Sammy Ompreon replaced Ackroyd at halftime. Infuriatingly, we also seemed to be underhitting most of our corners. Callum Gribbin in partic. The Blades only really got anything going in very short periods. We actually started quite brightly with a very high press early on. That went South when we conceded on just 6 minutes. Stephen Mallon has come back from his spell in Australia and honestly he's only been a bit part player this season. To my fan’s eyes, he looks a bit lost at left wing back. Previously, much more effective in a creative midfield or even up top role. Mallon was binned at halftime and replaced by Harry Boyes. Look. No secret. I'm a big Harry Boyes fan. For a brief period after half-time, he did make a difference. More or less with his first touch, out wide left he came inside immediately and he was very happy to stay there as the move unfolded. That created a chance for Callum Gribbin who snatched it just wide.

We did try and change it up a bit at times. Half way through the second period. I noticed that Reece York was hitting it hard into feet to the strikers and attacking midfield players ahead of him. That did look a little bit better to be fair.

In the first half, I felt Tashae Andall-Gibbons had been about our most creative player. Inexplicably to me, he was pulled out at halftime in favour of Harrison Neal. Presumably to try and shore up the middle. Because it looked like Alex could just cut through there any time they fancied it.

One of the enjoyable things about watching games at training grounds is simply how close you are to the pitch. That can give you a real insight into players skills. Sometimes, it makes you realise how much you’ve actually forgotten about football skills. For instance, I'll single out Andall-Gibbons. He's a strong young man but a little on the short side. Today he was up against some Crewe Brutes. Bizarrely, it came as a bit of a shock to me, to realise that he is competitive because he simply keeps his eye on the ball. All the time. His touch and timing on the ball are very good so he has to keep looking at it. He's not really interested in where the big lump defender is. Nor what he’s up to. If Tashae has to go over him, round him or through him to nick the ball that's what I'll do. I also noticed how much he gets around the park. For a skillful and creative player he seems not to mind dropping in behind the wing back in order to get the defensive duties done. And then he’ll pop up on the edge of the box. Very aware, with a great eye for picking balls up and making things happen. Although not a great deal of that going on today if I’m honest. Look Pal, I’m looking for positives. Alright?

I won’t go through their Goals. Too painful. See earlier comments about appalling defending. Our consolation goal came on 75. That made it 4-1. Ky Gordon got a neat flick on a corner at the near post. Look. I’m in a mood. That was probably fucking underhit again. I’m not having that was the plan.

Bolton Wanderers Under 23 are in our League. Obvs, with their Trials & Tribs in the early season, they’ve struggled to fulfill fixtures. Only finished six so far. So. We’re above them in the League. Whoop. Whoop. After all that. Drink needed.

Brass Castle Brewery, Bozza Don’t Surf, Hopfenweiss on keg at a whopping 7.3%. From the main Bar in Kommune in Sheffield. FFS. I felt even that was a little undercooked. It needed banana or summat off the wheat. And, a big Hop Bang. Although, some positives, it handed a nice long finish. 

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