The Kitabdjian Conspiracy

Sheffield United 1 v Brighton & Hove Albion 1 

Premier League 

Saturday 22 February 2020 

SUFC 2019/20 Game 53 

Twitter @ball_sup 

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Dear Brewer

Generally, I'm attracted to the taste of your beers. Sometimes, the names you give them help me out in understanding what style they are. And hence, what to expect. But, normally, I'm not too fussed about the beer names. Pun away fella……

Regards

The Carrier Bag Firm

However, I have to admit. Five Towns Brewery, brewing in Outwood (betwixt Wakefield & Leeds) have had me scratching my head with this one. Let me explain. Last week's Beer Adventure was to the Bradford CAMRA Beer Festival, in The Victoria Hall, Saltaire. Off Peak train ticket & Railcard restrictions meant we couldn't get there for the 11am start. Weekday Daytime Festival Sessions are increasingly popular among CBF-a-likes. Often free entry. No piss head mither. You can hear yourself think. If I'm honest, too popular. We had to get a right old shift on to try and secure Base Camp Seats ahead of the pack. In. Stairs. Excuse me. Is that free? Would you mind? Done. We're plotted. Only then can you turn your attention to getting the festival glass, getting the beer vouchers and the Other Meaningless Bits Of Paper that constitute the Programme & Beer List.

Many civilians can then waste precious drinking time rigorously auditing the beer list against existing beer ticks to produce the Essential Beer Hit List. Not for us. Get a Beer. Any Beer. Use your Noggin. "Can't remember having that one before, it's a Pale, believable abv" Grab it. Retire to Base Camp. And then you can do the fucking paperwork. You know. While you're drinking.

But, Five Towns have thrown me. The very first beer I notice, in the very first room I waddle into is;

Five Towns Brewery, The Kitabdjian Conspiracy, #WACCOE Pale, 4.3%.

Hang on. Go previous. That is surely named after "a thing". And not only that, but "a thing" I've never heard of. This. Changes. Everything. By the CBF rules, I should grab a beer & get back to the seats. But, if you don't learn, you don't grow. I hadn't got it in me. I couldn't leave the bar until I knew what The Kitabdjian Conspiracy was. Also what the fuck is WACCOE? Is it a Hop I've never heard of?

Gooooooogle

Michel Kitabdjian was a French football referee. Born in Nice in 1930, with Armenian roots. He reffed the 1975 European Cup Final between Bayern Munich & Leeds United in the Parc des Princes, Paris. Goals from Franz Roth & Gerd Muller gave Bayern a two nil victory. But, Kitabdjian turned down penalty appeals when Beckenbauer handled in the box & then appeared to clatter Allan Clarke. On 65, Johnny Giles dinked one into the box. After a bit of pinball, Peter Lorimer banged it home. Only for Kitabdjian to disallow it. (Apparently for Bremner being offside in the mêlée). It was nil nil through all that. Two latish Bayern goals won it. A German TV Operator lost an eye in the ensuing RIOT.

Understandably, many Leeds fans felt they had been robbed & cheated. That there was a Conspiracy involving the French Ref. The Kitabdjian Conspiracy. Leeds fans felt they were the rightful Champions, the Champions of Europe.

W e A re C hampions, C hampions O f E urope

WACCOE - no Phil, I'm afraid it's not a Hop. Beer teaches you stuff. Also - 45 years later - LLAFAA.

Congratulations, you have just been informed by the Carrier Bag Firm.

I thought United played really well against Brighton. Not the result we needed. But, big picture. We might not look like we're unlocking defences. We might not have anyone who looks like a priceless, twenty goal a season striker. But, we're a constant threat. Opponents can't relax. Of course, it was disappointing to go a goal up. And then not be able to manage it over the line. The corner routine for that goal was superb. Simple & superb. Fleck to Norwood to Fleck to Norwood. To create a straightforward two v one wide right. Alright. Maybe the cross is not meant to fall to Stevens. But, he's there. And he finishes.

There is an odd malaise around Blades fans at times. No one has seen the fringe players play. So, they can't be good enough - "or the great leader Wilder would play them". It doesn't work like that. Wilder has to play the best ones. Doesn't mean the others aren't up to it. Step forward Ben Osborn. Subbing left wing back at HT for Stevens. Come on. You barely noticed a difference in how we played. He did very well.

I'm also singling out McBurnie. It's going to sound negative. It isn't. It's observation. What goes on with his legs? Is it those ankle socks? And kids pads? Or is it just how he is? He always looks like he's stretching for the ball. It always looks out of reach. He's sort of gangly. I'm beginning to view Wilder as Tweaker Man. He's not a constant Tinker. Changing this, that, the other, in real time. He's just made basic Tweaks to our system. To suit our changing circumstances. And our changing personnel. Ditch the Ten, go flat three. Stick McBurnie in, go more direct at times.

It'll be interesting how Wilder approaches the ten or so games left. Of course, we've always been "playing for something" - playing to survive. Now, we're playing for seventh (and hoping European Qualification goes down that far). All results have mattered & do matter. But, as we can see down the home stretch, they measurably matter. We might have to say - have a point, don't risk losing later on in games. He might have to Tinker more.

Stats

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