Championship Play Offs Semi Final 1st Leg
Saturday 14 May 2022
SUFC 2021/22 Game #73
How did you get on then? During the great Bramall Lane Seat Free-For-All. Some fella supposed to come up to yer, weren't he?
"That's my season ticket seat, I've had it for fifteen years, fuck off aht a' it"
Head vein bulging. Chin jutting. Stone Island badge flexing. Spittle forming. Nostrils a'flaring. No. Me either.
Still, I had all the "lines" ready.
"Sander Berge lodged with us when he first came over. He got me this ticket as a thank you. Take it up with him."
"(Quietly & Conspiratorially) Hi mate, let's not have any fuss, I'm on a Banning Order & I mustn't draw attention to meself, you don't look like a Grass, leave it yeah"
"I know, great seat ain't it. Fifteen years you day, me & my Dad had it from when the stand opened in 1975 until 2007, he died in it…"
What a load of Bollocks. As many on here will know, for a good few years now I've been advocating RANSEAL. It does what it says on the tin.
Random Allocation of Numbered Seats Everywhere, Any Location
In this proposal, your Season Ticket is a cheap, loyalty way of gaining access to every home league game of the season. But doesn't entitle you to any particular seat. Two days before each match, you get an email from the club with a pdf ticket, which has been completely randomly allocated in any seat, row, block, stand anywhere in the ground.
One game, right behind the Directors Box in The South. The next game, right behind a pillar on The Shoreham. The next game, front row in the Bramall Lane Lower.
Extensive research shows that potential United fans won't buy season tickets because they're worried about getting stuck next to some fucker who keeps banging on about teamsheets & the Hull City training ground & a new MicroPub on Woodseats.
That is restricting Season Ticket sales, reducing revenue & holding us back as a club. The Prince knows this. And has looked for solutions. RANSEAL means you'll only get teamsheet nerd for one game. One day, and soon, we will adopt RANSEAL. Forget Safe Standing, this is the future. Be prepared.
We weren't really at it were we? We weren't awful. We weren't overrun. But Gibbs-White, Ndiaye & Berge just couldn't get anything going. Couple that with defensive slips & gaffs. It could have been a very long afternoon. But, some good saves. And a bit of luck here & there. And, we're still in it after that late goal. I hate two leg games. They should be ditched across all formats. They're neither here nor there. If it's drama you want, you're just wasting a game. But, here we are, still in it.
One of the Carrier Bag Firm beer geeks had bought a load of American beers not normally distributed in the UK. When quizzed on how he'd managed to get hold of them, he replied … "off of Instagram". So, there you have it. We adjourned to the Instagram Tavern.
Hill Farmstead Brewery, (Greensboro, Vermont), Edward, American Pale from a Tin at 5.2%
Named after the Brewers Grandad Edward, using water from the well on the land he once owned. Unfiltered and dry hopped. Pale and Caramel malt. Centennial, Chinook, Columbus, Simcoe, and Warrior hops.
The Alchemist, (Stowe, Vermont), Focal Banger, American IPA from a Tin at 7%
A long description on the tin as to why you should drink it from the tin. We fucking ignored that. Citra & Mosaic hops.
Tree House Brewing Co, (Charlton, Massachusetts), Julius, American IPA from a Tin at 6.8%
Tree House Brewing Co, Green, American IPA from a Tin at 7.5%
Made with Australian and American hops, kettle and dry hopped.
Tree House Brewing Co, Spring, Double IPA from a Tin at 7.9%
Tree House Brewing Co, Haze, Double IPA from a Tin at 8.2%
Tree House Brewing Co, Curiosity One Hundred Twenty Two, Double IPA from a Tin at 8.2%
Here we fucking go. Nothing on the tin about the beer. No name. No description. Zilch. You have to scan the QR code on the tin to find out what it is.
Tree House Brewing Co, New Day, Double IPA from a Tin at 7.8%
Another one of yer "QR only tins".
I know there was a lot of ShitTalk about whether print at home QR code tickets would work at the Bramall Lane turnstiles. But, I never in a million years thought I'd end the evening having to scan QR codes to find out what I was fucking drinking. Madness.
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