The Blog Falls Back On Beer

Sheffield United 1 v Nottingham Forest 3 

Premier League 

Saturday 4 May 2024 

SUFC 2023/24 Game #66 

I've got nowt. What's a Blogging Brother supposed to do? Will The Prince n Wilder not think of the Content Providers?

We had a spell. We often do. We conceded. We always do. Sort of sloppy. But mainly not tight enough. No intensity. We tired. We always do. We went to the usual - what the fucks he bringing him on for - subs. Because we've nobody else. And we capitulated. We often do.

I'm not capable of saying who stays, who goes next season. I don't retain all the shit about which contract is up, who we've got an option on, who is on hold out. Maybe if I did, I'd have some Content to Provide.

Of course, my USP is the beer. So, you'd best have that.

Industry Tap

85 Sidney St, Sheffield City Centre, Sheffield S1 4RG

The Outstanding Beer Of The Day wasn't even on!!!

Twisted Wheel Brew Co. No Mikey, No, Milk Stout on Keg at 5%

That one kicked out as he was pulling my order. So, I reselected. The Guv’norrrr (correctly) gave me what he had managed to pour. I eternally owe him a debt of honour. For, it was glorious. Rich and indulgent. Sweetness just right.

Abbeydale Brewery, Salvation - Irish Stout on Keg at 4.5%

The Reselect. Problem is. Pales into insignificance behind that kicked ‘un. Sessionable. But that's code for thin mouthfeel, straightahead, flavours flavour, but go nowhere.

Sommar Brewing Co (West Midlands), Brown Eyes, Stout on Keg at a whopping 7%

See above. No. No. No. Not the fucking bit above about No Mikey, No. The bit above about Salvation. Having Stouted in, we thought we'd keep searching. Slightly disappointed with this one truth be told. Bit of promise. No delivery.

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Fake Hate

Nottingham Forest 1 v Sheffield United 2 

(3-3 on aggregate, NFFC win 3-2 on Penalties) 

Championship Play Off Semi Final 

Tuesday 17 May 2022 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #75

Sheffield United Community Foundation U19 2 v Newcastle United Foundation U19 2 

National Football Youth League 

North East Premier 

Wednesday 18 May 2022 

Played at Handsworth 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #76 

Well that was a truly marvelous beer stumble across, on an amazing football night (note football night not night of football). The ticket gangmaster has lost it if I'm honest. He issued a - straight to Nottingham, no pub stop - edict. This was despite repeated, and I emphasise repeated, shouts of "Sherwood, Sherwood" from the mid section of the bus.

Thankfully, as we entered Nottingham, and headed down towards Sneinton Market, the gangmaster had the good grace to shout down the bus…

"Anyone who wants to get off come down the front and tell us."

I knocked three Civilians over in my haste. I was sort of targeting Bunkers Hill Inn. But, we regrouped and defaulted to a place we'd never been in before.

Fox & Grapes

21 Southwell Rd, Nottingham NG1 1DL

Man, what a find. (Turns out there's a MicroPub, Partizan Tavern, on the other corner as well). The F&G is a Castle Rock pub. The two geezers behind the bar were incredibly helpful & friendly. Didn't mind my questions & photos. 

Four Castle Rocks on Cask, one on Keg. Four guest Cask. Six guest Keg. Welcome to Nottingham.

I'm singling out;

Black Iris Brewery (Nottingham), Let The Devil In, American IPA on Cask at 5.5%

Dry hopped with El Dorado and Ekuanot with Cascade hops thrown in at the bittering stage.

My mindset stayed roughly the same all night. My animation levels & gesticulation metrics swung wildly. These are the nights (days are also available) you want. Do you want to win 'em … rhetorical. Do you mind if you lose 'em … ridiculous. But, fuck me, you want to be at them. Please don't think I'm ignoring all the well publicised surrounding nonsense. But, them's the nights.

Remember, I write parody.

I'm disappointed in the management & leadership on the night if I'm honest.

What it needed was someone, Billy would have done, to huddle the team.

"Win or lose - on the whistle or final penalty - every player & member of staff, the kitman, the Twitter Guy, those on crutches, those in ski boots, the fucking lot, rush over to that away corner, form a square, form a phalanx, form summat else - don't bother me with the details - we'll fucking sort it from there - in front of our fans - this is us.

Remember I write parody.

It's frustrating. I want noisy, intimidating atmospheres. But, joyous. In support of your own team. Not snarling. In support of some fake, learned behaviour, hatred. The Tricky Trees running on the pitch. They've read the trending script. Let the Pyro go. Run past your own players. The ones you're supposed to be celebrating with. Sprint past the tunnel. Where the management and staff will be congregating. Leave them in your wake. Because, the real objective is to get twenty yards away from the ragtag collection of aged walking stick wielders on Row A of the Away End. And give 'em The Vees. Fake hatred - a lot from our fans as well.

(I like Steve Cooper a lot) Forest were good in the first half. High tempo. Can't get your breath tempo. Can't think tempo. But, we were far from overrun. A great save from Iliman. Or it could have all looked different.

You couldn't fault any of our lot. Jack Robinson was immense. And, he showed he's a real attacking threat getting on the end of corners. My vocabulary narrowed significantly after Fleck's go ahead on the night goal. Basically, all I could muster was (and I emphasise "these" were Forest).

"These can't win it in 90"

"These don't know how to win from here"

"These are gone"

Repeated, ultimately incorrectly I'll concede, time after time.

And, I'll admit to gallows humour…

"I know, I know, let's have Penalties, but with silly run ups"

How has that late swivelling chance from Iliman not gone in? But, even then, core mood remained - these are the nights.

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RANSEAL

Sheffield United 1 v Nottingham Forest 2 

Championship Play Offs Semi Final 1st Leg

Saturday 14 May 2022 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #73 

How did you get on then? During the great Bramall Lane Seat Free-For-All. Some fella supposed to come up to yer, weren't he?

"That's my season ticket seat, I've had it for fifteen years, fuck off aht a' it"

Head vein bulging. Chin jutting. Stone Island badge flexing. Spittle forming. Nostrils a'flaring. No. Me either.

Still, I had all the "lines" ready.

"Sander Berge lodged with us when he first came over. He got me this ticket as a thank you. Take it up with him."

"(Quietly & Conspiratorially) Hi mate, let's not have any fuss, I'm on a Banning Order & I mustn't draw attention to meself, you don't look like a Grass, leave it yeah"

"I know, great seat ain't it. Fifteen years you day, me & my Dad had it from when the stand opened in 1975 until 2007, he died in it…"

What a load of Bollocks. As many on here will know, for a good few years now I've been advocating RANSEAL. It does what it says on the tin. 

Random Allocation of Numbered Seats Everywhere, Any Location

In this proposal, your Season Ticket is a cheap, loyalty way of gaining access to every home league game of the season. But doesn't entitle you to any particular seat. Two days before each match, you get an email from the club with a pdf ticket, which has been completely randomly allocated in any seat, row, block, stand anywhere in the ground.

One game, right behind the Directors Box in The South. The next game, right behind a pillar on The Shoreham. The next game, front row in the Bramall Lane Lower.

Extensive research shows that potential United fans won't buy season tickets because they're worried about getting stuck next to some fucker who keeps banging on about teamsheets & the Hull City training ground & a new MicroPub on Woodseats.

That is restricting Season Ticket sales, reducing revenue & holding us back as a club. The Prince knows this. And has looked for solutions. RANSEAL means you'll only get teamsheet nerd for one game. One day, and soon, we will adopt RANSEAL. Forget Safe Standing, this is the future. Be prepared.

We weren't really at it were we? We weren't awful. We weren't overrun. But Gibbs-White, Ndiaye & Berge just couldn't get anything going. Couple that with defensive slips & gaffs. It could have been a very long afternoon. But, some good saves. And a bit of luck here & there. And, we're still in it after that late goal. I hate two leg games. They should be ditched across all formats. They're neither here nor there. If it's drama you want, you're just wasting a game. But, here we are, still in it.

One of the Carrier Bag Firm beer geeks had bought a load of American beers not normally distributed in the UK. When quizzed on how he'd managed to get hold of them, he replied … "off of Instagram". So, there you have it. We adjourned to the Instagram Tavern.

Hill Farmstead Brewery, (Greensboro, Vermont), Edward, American Pale from a Tin at 5.2%

Named after the Brewers Grandad Edward, using water from the well on the land he once owned. Unfiltered and dry hopped. Pale and Caramel malt. Centennial, Chinook, Columbus, Simcoe, and Warrior hops.

The Alchemist, (Stowe, Vermont), Focal Banger, American IPA from a Tin at 7%

A long description on the tin as to why you should drink it from the tin. We fucking ignored that. Citra & Mosaic hops.

Tree House Brewing Co, (Charlton, Massachusetts), Julius, American IPA from a Tin at 6.8%

Tree House Brewing Co, Green, American IPA from a Tin at 7.5%

Made with Australian and American hops, kettle and dry hopped.

Tree House Brewing Co, Spring, Double IPA from a Tin at 7.9%

Tree House Brewing Co, Haze, Double IPA from a Tin at 8.2%

Tree House Brewing Co, Curiosity One Hundred Twenty Two, Double IPA from a Tin at 8.2%

Here we fucking go. Nothing on the tin about the beer. No name. No description. Zilch. You have to scan the QR code on the tin to find out what it is.

Tree House Brewing Co, New Day, Double IPA from a Tin at 7.8%

Another one of yer "QR only tins".

I know there was a lot of ShitTalk about whether print at home QR code tickets would work at the Bramall Lane turnstiles. But, I never in a million years thought I'd end the evening having to scan QR codes to find out what I was fucking drinking. Madness.

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Jurassic Parrot

Sheffield United 1 v Nottingham Forest 1  

The Championship 

Friday 4 March 2022 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #59 

We have a Story Beer. Repeat we have a Story Beer. This is not a drill.

Dead Parrot Beer Co. have a beer called Hohhot on Cask at 5.4%. The pumpclip described it as Inner Mongolia Ale. So, that's a new description hey.

I quizzed. The story goes. Yang Zhe (also named on the pumpclip) is a guy from Inner Mongolia (a region of China), who lived for a while in Sheffield & became a friend of the Dead Parrot brewer. Over time, they chatted about beer, China & Inner Mongolia. The claim was … the rest of China drank pale, lager-a-like, tasteless beers under 5% - "might as well be water". Not in Inner Mongolia, oh no, not in Inner Mongolia mate. Proper beer there.

(Apparently) Yang Zhe claimed the Innerites drank a darker, maltier, higher abv ale. Which he said was often likened to "English Beer". So, the Dead Parrots interrogated him about flavours, taste, appearance, etc. And reciped it & brewed it to Yang Zhe's "instructions".

Once they'd put in all the hard yards and got it conditioned & settled & shit, they all sat around with Yang Zhe & piled in.

Yang Zhe (I'm paraphrasing) said - perfect, spot on, just like the beer in my home town Hohhot, thanks guys.

(Here, I'm thinking, well he would fucking say that wouldn't he).

So, there we have it.

Dead Parrot Beer Co, Hohhot, Inner Mongolia Ale, brewed by Yang Zhe, on Cask at 5.4% (ie not "water")

It was nice. Sort of an easy drinking English Bitter. Not over malty. Not over bitter. Nice balance & a bit moreish.

First time I'd been in…

Perch Brewhouse

44 Garden St, Sheffield S1 4BJ

The home of Dead Parrot. I'll be honest, it wasn't quite what I was expecting. I'm preloaded to imagine a newer English brewery, in a former industrial area of a Northern Town, to be all about the Keg Beer. But, basically, Perch has a rack of well known, industrial branded, keg beers. And then half a dozen real ale handpulls of their own brews. Great place. Go when you can.

Not gonna lie. I made a right twit of myself. Once we'd sat down, I exited stage left into the yard to see if I could see the Brewing Kit through a window or an open door. A few trestles & benches in the courtyard. And maybe 60 sacks. All full. Grains. Barleys. I don't know, I don't present Countryfile. First sack I came across was Hops. Lovely. I'll have some of that. Hand in. Scoop out. Have a good, deep sniff. Except, it was raining, and all the sacks were open, and the handful of hops were wet through. Indeed, everything in all the sacks was wet through. What? Why? Why would you leave all the agricultural produce needed for brewing open to the elements? To spoil?

Anyway. Chatted to him. His van had broken down. (Me - Shrugging Emoji). Penny dropped. He couldn't dispose of the malt, barley & hops he'd ALREADY FUCKING USED to brew beer. The 60 odd sacks I'd seen were spent. Twit.

Dead Parrot Beer Co, Kato Nwar, Stout on Cask at 4.8%

Kato Nwar. You are familiar with that, right? The national bird of the Seychelles. The Black Parrot (it's a Stout, brewed by Dead Parrot, that's fucking high fives all round).

Dead Parrot Beer Co, Aurornis Xui, Pale Ale on Cask at 4.6%

Aurornis Xui. You are familiar with that, right? Oooohhhh, do fucking tell us Phil. It wouldn't be a fucking parrot parody would it?

In. One. An extinct anchiornithid theropod dinosaur from the Jurassic Period. Roughly the size of a pheasant from 160 million years ago. And … from fossils … looks a bit like a parrot … SURPRISE.

Best beer of the bunch that one. Lots of flavour. Lots of malt. (Which works very well). Tastes pack full of Hops. And maybe I got some apricot in the fruit. Lovely.

So, I'd have taken nil nil for large swathes of that game. But once Morgan found that cross. And Billy found that space where there was no space. You'd want to hang on. Drat.

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Vintage Keg (Bollocks)

Nottingham Forest 1 v Sheffield United 1 

The Championship 

Tuesday 2 November 2021 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #23 

There's a neat little pub crawl around Sherwood if you can make the time. M1 traffic problems meant we didn't have as much time as we needed. Still. Got to be in it to win it.

Kraft Werks

513 Mansfield Rd, Sherwood, Nottingham NG5 2JL

Oooohhhh. I've never seen that play on words before. Let's have some creativity Brothers n Sisters. Nice gaff mind. I'm pretty sure from the window furniture it used to be a bank. One room trestle table & benches affair. Although there are few chairs with backs to ease the Carrier Bag Firm weary nethers. Fridges all around, including under the till where the specialist German Bottles were. Simple 5 Keg wall. Although that included Chimay & Dupont. And one was a "don't go to" Abbeydale Funk Fest sour - not on a matchday lads. And, to cap it all off, I was in a Cask Sort Of Mood.

Moor Beer Company, Revival, English Bitter on Cask at 3.8%

That'll do. Bit of fruit off the malt. Gentle & easy drinking.

The Wild Beer Co. Jambo!, Raspberry Imperial Stout on Keg at 8.5%

When I showed my detailed knowledge of Wild Beer & quizzed the Governor as to what the fuck was going on - that's been out of production for ages. He aced it;

"we've got hold of a Vintage Keg"

Lovely. No such thing, of course. But a true Kraft answer.

I'm liking these keg stouts that are held together by fruit at the mo'. The fruit sharpens out any sickly sweetness & hides the abv.

Across the busy road, there is;

Crafty Teller

532-534 Mansfield Rd, Sherwood, Nottingham NG5 2FR

You've got to werk Craft into the name somehow, just got to. A much more mainstream, craft-a-like bar. Normal lager & Beavertown an' all that. Yadda. Yadda. And one handpull. Cask Sort Of Mood.

Weird Beard Brew Co, Mariana Trench, Pale Ale on Cask at 5.3%

We are, again, where we are. I can find a way of feeling quite positive about that one. Stay in the game. On a night when you're not fully on it. Go ahead late on. (So far, so good). But. Drat. Concede. But. Lo. A great, great chance for Rhian to win it. And he's hit the fucking keeper. One All. Maybe have taken that when we were Kraftying earlier.

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Are HobNobs Halal?

Sheffield United 2 v Nottingham Forest 0
The Championship
Friday 19 April 2019

SUFC 2018/19 Game 84
2018/19 Football Season Brewery Visits - 103

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Question. Are HobNobs Halal? That was what I caught myself thinking during the first half. It turns out, they are not Halal Certified, according to McVities themselves. I was musing because on the way in to my seat, I had a close encounter/near miss with Prince Abdullah Bin Mosaad Bin Abdulaziz Al Saud - The Big Prinz. I thought, if I could get him & McCabe round to Carrier Bag Towers, get 'em together over coffee & HobNobs, maybe, just maybe we can sort this shit out. But, you know, being an Atheist an’ all that. I wouldn't want to cross any Cultural dead ball line with an inappropriate selection of dunkers.

I'd been invited into the John Street Executive by one of the Carrier Bag Firm Deep Corporate Assets. Just as I scanned in, a side door opened. Fat geezer, with specs & what looked like a black duffle coat came out of said side door. A couple of booted & suiteds with him. I made for the stairs. Duffle & entourage made for the lifts. T'was he. Defendant. Plaintiff. The Accused. The Accuser. Fuck knows. Co-Owner. The Big Prinz. To be serious for a mo’. That's what’s down for us. A Co-Owner, skulking around the back stairs, via a side door, in a Duffely. Presumably, he's not welcome over there in The South Stand. With his Co-Owner, The Board, and sat behind Knill & the other one in the dugout. Or maybe, he prefers to keep out of their way. Or maybe, just maybe. There's a brand of Halal Certified biccies in John Street that they don't have over the other side. Anyway, symptomatic & illustrative of how broken the relationship must be. Oh, and one of the two lifts was broken an’ all. Hope he had to walk…..

“Anyway” I hear you shout “who’s this Deep Corporate Asset maintained by the CBF?” Well, it’s a major surprise he’s still doing business with the CBF, that’s for sure.  I’m sure you’ll all recall the events of 8 November 2016. Just before the England & India Test Match in Mohali. The Government of India announced the demonetisation of all ₹500 and ₹1,000 banknotes of the Mahatma Gandhi Series. I’ll spell it out. The Indian government wanted to stop laundered and counterfeit cash funding organised crime and terrorism. So, overnight, you could no longer use 500 & 1k notes. You could change small amounts for the new ₹500 and ₹2,000 banknotes. If you could fucking find a bank that had any. Several people were reported to have died from standing in queues for hours to exchange their demonetised banknotes. Deaths were also reported as hospitals refused the old banknotes in payment for treatment. By the end of December 2016, political opposition leaders were claiming that over 100 people had died due to the demonetisation.

Alright. Alright. Even by Carrier Bag Firm standards, that is an obscure bit of info. You’re welcome. The thing is, at the 6-0 tonking of Leyton Orient in the FA Cup 1st Round, I’d sold a load of old 500 & 1,000 Rupee Notes to the guy I’m describing as the CBF Deep Corporate Asset. (He & I were both going to the Test in Mohali). That was the Sunday. They were worthless by the Tuesday. Classic.

Anyway. Time passes. Financial parity has been reestablished. He invites me in to John Street Executive sometimes. This time, I bumped into The Big Prinz.  The Deep Corporate Asset is a BIG collector of SUFC Memorabilia. His first season at the Lane was in 1952/53. We won Division Two that year. That’s The Championship in new money (ooohhh FFS don’t mention new money, particularly not new Indian money). Ted Burgin, Fred Furniss, Derek Hawksworth, Alf Ringstead & Joe Shaw all played in all 42 league games. Pride of place in the Deep Corporate Assets memorabilia collection, from that, his first season as a Blade is one of the Division Two Champions Medals presented to one of our stars. Not bad…….

He also owns what he describes as Programme Eight. That is from 1897/98, when we were Champions of Division One (ie The Premier League). That was/is (by consensus) the first season United produced match day programmes. Vol 1 No. 1 was from the Home Game v Derby County on 1 September 1897. My mate owns the programme from 29 December 1897, the Eighth Home League Game v Liverpool. Not a bad Meaningless Bit Of Paper to have. I’ve dubbed him Carrier Bag Firm Deep Corporate Asset - but, let’s have it right, he’s CBF Royalty.

There’s not a lot to say about football on a day like today. It all went from the win at The Lane to Wigan’s smash & grab at Elland Road. Up The ‘Tics. And …… we’re back in the room. I’m a little uncertain as to what was Chicken, what Egg today. We were pretty flat in the first half. And, they went down to ten men v early in the second. But, I thought we were much more at it in the second half - and playing against ten will have helped that. McGoldrick was Man Of The Match for me. How the hell wasn’t he getting games elsewhere. He’s lively. Good on the ball. The lot.

Today’s celebratory beer was To Ol Blossom, from a Bottle at 6.3%. Claims to be brewed with 6 different flowers & leaves. Maybe. Bit of a taste confusion. But, like many times before, the bitterness saves it.

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Grassssss

Sheffield United 4 v Wigan Athletic 2
The Championship
Saturday 27 October 2018

Sheffield United Futures U21 1 v Harworth Colliery U21 1
North Midlands Development Football League, U21s Division
Wednesday 31 October 2018
Played at Stocksbridge Park Steels

Nottingham Forest 1 v Sheffield United 0
The Championship
Saturday 3 November 2018

SUFC 2018/19 Game 33, 34 & 35

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The Spat

Where do they think we've come from? You've seen 'em. The Bigger Away Blade Than You. Do they think we've come to our first away game aged 60 (or whatever)? We've had four of them in Row C, right near the front, we're the row behind. Well, I've benefitted fully from their explanation of how Blades are supposed to behave at Away Games. Thanks guys, I never knew. I mean, OK, I'm steeped in Football Terrace Culture. I've been to a World Cup Final. I've been to The Maracana in Rio, Brazil. I've been to Scotland v England at Hampden Park - numerous times. I've stood on terraces or sat in the stands & seen United teams play on 212 different grounds. But, despite all that, I apparently need four pissed lads to tell me the correct way to behave at games. Thanks guys, really helpful.

Oh, but, crucially, you've got one key point wrong lads. You Grassing Bastard. Dear reader, see if you can spot what they did which goes against my version of Terrace Culture. The Grassing Bastard.

Come in pissed. Stand in front of Blades all game. Swear at Blades all game. Sing. Tell Blades who object to your language to Fuck Off. Tell Blades who aren't singing that they are an embarrassment. Bully female Blades who have a blanket over their laps to keep them warm. Bully older Blades for behaving as if “they're in Church”. Block & jostle in the aisle Blades who you've had words with. Keep telling everyone We're All Blades Aren't We - while firmly believing you're the only Real Blades there.

Alright. Alright. Alright Phil, I hear you say. Maybe they're a pain in the arse. But, you drink. You swear. You've stumbled & fallen about in grounds before now. You've been around the Block. You've actually been punched in the face in that stand on our right. The one these drunken fans are shouting “SCAB” into. When Utd fans were applauding Brian Clough during his last game at this ground, you fell off your seat during a solo rendition of “Hey Rock n Roll, Clough is on The Dole”. Pain in the arse - yes. But, most of that is Terrace Culture. What's your beef?

Big Blade blocked & jostled one of the Carrier Bag Firm in the aisle. A few home truths & facts have been explained to Big Blade about the realities of the situation. So. Big Blade has gone & fetched a Steward. And pointed my mate out to Said Steward. He's a GRASS. That's a No No. The mugs had actually been singing each other's names. So, I know who they are. Including Father & Son. Obviously, I'm not going to expose them here. That would be akin to grassing. I did look Dad & the other two in the eye one at a time at the time. And, I did say - “you've just watched your mate/son fetch that Steward, he is a fucking GRASS”.

If I see them again, I'll call 'em by name & ask for their version of events. If they deny fetching a Steward or (even worse) are proud of it, I'll call them out. Every single time. GRASS. Or they can say they were pissed & they've had a silly & apologise & I'll have not a single problem with that.

The Beer

I might even offer to buy them a beer at Neon Raptor in Nottingham. Set in a unit in Sneinton Market. All the units are being renovated in the same way. Big glass doors, everything open & exposed. The brewing kit was visible, but roped off in one part of the unit. And the Tap is in another bit. Eight on keg. All theirs. Split 5 v 3 into Pales/IPAs & Porters/Stouts. Although two of those three stouts were North of 11%.

I went;
Neon Raptor, Won't You Reconsider, Imperial IPA at 8%
Neon Raptor, Trails And Ways, New England Pale at 5.4%
Neon Raptor, Endangered (2018), Bourbon & Vanilla Porter at 6.6%
Neon Raptor, Paper Heart, American Pale at 4.2%. That was the Standout.

737/1537

Hopped Up Heretics

Sheffield United 0 v Nottingham Forest 0

The Championship

Saturday 17 March 2018

SUFC 2017/18 Game 77

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I've only got myself to blame. But, that felt a little bit like an identikit beer day. As the abvs kicked in. As the drivel flowed. I found myself yearning for a tan/brown, slightly opaque, bit of residual sugar, feel the abv burn, rich, intense Imperial/Double IPA. The closest I got was the superb Arbor, Large Hop Collider DIPA on keg at 8% in The Sheffield Tap. But, most of the remaining Hopped Up Heretics were yellow, impenetrable, juiced up, gloopers. Identi, and indeed, kit.

Shakespeares had a Howling Hops vs Cloudwater Tap Takeover event. I went solely for Cloudwater kegs on a - well you have to don't you - basis. Of course they were interesting & intriguing. Of course they were full of flavour. Of course there wasn't a bad 'un anywhere in the Postcode. But, tellingly, for a Self Defining Hop Head, I enjoyed the Helles & the Barrel Aged Stout most.

Cloudwater Helles Mandarina 4.8%
Cloudwater Bourbon BA Black Forest Stout 12%
Cloudwater DIPA Enigma 8.5%
Cloudwater DDH IPA Enigma Chinook 6.5%
Cloudwater DDH Pale Simcoe Citra 5.5%
Cloudwater Small Citra Ekuanot Pale 2.9%

After the game, we hit up the True North Brewing open brewery door event with Framework Brewery. Perfect Storm, literally. Those mental weather conditions. Swirling snow in a chilly wind. The keg bar behind the barman. Small pump clips. Ridic steamed up glasses. Previous abv consumption. All meant I was struggling to see what was on. The barman must have been sick of me constantly asking - what's the third from the left again? I “think” I had;

True North, Dynamo New England IPA 8.6%
Framework Circus Money 5%
Framework Sinker 5%
Twisted Barrel/Framework, Detroit City Sour 4%
(Note to self, Dry Hopped Sours tipped to be the next Identikit Beer…)

We were at the back of the Bramall Lane Upper, well under the roof. The snow only reached up there occasionally. The cold wind - oh, that was constant up there. At half time, a handful of Muslim guys came up to avoid the snow. Couldn't fucking hack the wind mind. One of my Utd supporting Muslim brothers told me his skin wasn't designed for weather like this. His classic line was “I was born in The Northern General, but this is too cold for me…” What a marvellous example of Multicultural South Yorkshire.

Another flat at times game. Which we couldn't get over the line. With a fair few obvious right leaning bile bullies shouting SCAB. Not a lot to enjoy.

627/1306

Three Emotions

Nottingham Forest 2 v Sheffield United 1

The Championship

Saturday 30 September 2017

SUFC 2017/18 Game 31

A game of Three Emotions that one. Another early goal. That one had me feeling. What is happening? Just give over will you. Once Forest had gone ahead. I thought United had played so well. Doing all their stuff well. Despite a changed team. I felt, OK it’s going to be this way sometimes. This is The Championship. There were niggles, but I’d have been happy to “take the loss” then so long as we continued to play with the tempo, accuracy & commitment. But, at the end, I felt - man, we should have got something out of that. Particularly after we hit the post at the death.

On reflection. We played very well. Forest played well. They played what I am rapidly learning is “Championship Football”. I suppose it’s counter-attack. But, really it’s just having lots of pace, shifting the ball quickly from defence to attack, movement. Strikers getting a yard & punishing you.  To be really successful in this first season back. We’re going to have to learn how to deal with that. But, our game plan is sound. Sound, I tell you. And, our recruitment has been sound. We’ve been hit by injuries. But, at our tempo & intensity, players are going to tire. You’re going to have to leave them out sometimes. So, you need a squad. You need like for like replacements. And. our recruitment has nodded heavily in that direction. Upfront, that was as light as it gets. No Sharp, Evans, Clarke, Lavery, Brooks. Clayton Donaldson on his first game back since the hamstring niggle while scoring at Sunderland.

A slightly marked down score for The Crafty Crow. Magpie Brewery’s outlet. Mainly down to the staff. It’s a horseshoe bar. Casks on one bit. Kegs in the middle bit. Then the other set of casks on the far side. Staff constantly moving from one bit to the the other. We were waiting in front of the kegs. Barperson was pulling & serving. But, also muttering. Along the lines of needing to go to the kitchen to get some food to serve. Sure enough. Me next. Exit Stage Right. Second Barperson then justs trots over to another bit to serve. Manager is constantly running from the keg taps to the Cellar to get something or other to work. Lots going on. Not much dedicated to helping punters get ale.

Magpie/Navigation/Castle Rock (Collab), New England IPA on keg at 6.6%.
4Ts, Big Bro APA on cask at 5%.

Much, much better in (The) Junkyard (Pourhouse). Eleven on keg. (plus house Lager & Cider). Very helpful bar staff. All simple & straightforward. Dedicated to getting your beer to you. Great place.

The Kernel, India Pale Ale, Citra & Sticklebract on keg at 6.8%.
Black Iris. Lost Art Of Keeping Secrets, DIPA on keg at 8.5%.

That Kernel equals Standout Beer Of The Day.

546/1138

U21 Trialists, 3 become 2

Sheffield United U21 0 v Nottingham Forest U21 2

Monday 9 March 2015

Twitter @ball_sup

Forest are clear leaders of U21 Professional Development League 2 North. At the last bulletin (3 March), they were 5 points clear of Wednesday, with United a point behind them. And they’ve got 2 games in hand on us.

Quite a strong team put out by United. Kieran Wallace, Che Adams, Louis Reed, Ben Davies all been fairly regularly involved at first team level. Connor Dimaio an’ all. The vastly experienced Shaun Barker on whatever trial basis he is on.  Ben Whiteman (again) setting up as centre back.

Right, the trialists…Adam Drury must have been voted off in this week's live eviction. Because we're down to two now.

Shaun Barker

Modern football does my head in. It’s all wheeler dealering ain’t it. Backscratching & Backstabbing in equal measures. Who knows? Is Barker here because we have a view we might want to & be able to sign him. Or are we just doing him/his club a favour which we’ll call in in the future, or are we already paying one back?  Anyway, Red n White striped shirt today.

Looked better than last week. Fully switched on. At his level, with his experience, much of his effectiveness is down to positioning. And he’d got all that going on. Rarely caught out. Rarely needed to get arse into gear. Comfortable. He won a lot of headers & some key tackles. Busy, organised & committed. He looked the class act out there. He grafted & lasted 65 minutes.

By a distance, he was the best Wrestler out there at corners.

Josef Shirdel

I was amazed to see this fella again. Probably some wheeler, dealering I’m blissfully unaware of.  With Che Adams out there, he didn’t set up as the lone striker this time. Slightly more withdrawn in a link role. But, also drifting left & right. And I mean drifting in the “what the hell is he doing out there?” way.  To be fair, he was better than last week. More involved. But, he often seemed to be running towards the man with the ball - almost like “kids in the playground” mode. Maybe someones been watching him for months. Maybe he’s tearing it up in training. Maybe he’s cheap. But, currently, I can’t see it. Lasted to 75 minutes. Ineffective.

At times, the midfield of Reed, Dimaio, Kieran Wallace & Coustrain looked the part. But, at times is the key bit there. I thought Connor Dimaio looked a bit sharper & committed than recent weeks. Che Adams had a few tearing down on goal, have a shot moments - but he must be a way down the pecking order now for a first team striker spot.

At all levels, at set pieces, we seem to over concentrate on the man, ignore the ball. It’s all blocking off & disrupting. But, there’s a ball to be dealt with as well. One set piece header & one no one dealt with it it’s gone straight in set piece have cost us. Mugged off.

99/230

Three Trialists for the U21s

Nottingham Forest U21 2 v Sheffield United U21 0

Monday 2 March 2015

Twitter @ball_sup

Very windy up at the Forest Academy. It spoilt the game a little bit - same for both sides of course. I may as well concentrate on the three “Trialists”. Although it’s your guess as to the circumstances.

Shaun Barker

The Derby Telegraph has him as being granted permission to play two games for SUFC U21s. He’s coming back after three years from a serious knee injury. In my limited experience, there are often insurance implications for players out for such a long time.  (Emphasising) I have NO knowledge of Shaun’s specifics.  But, sometimes players have to go through a kill or cure it attempt at a comeback before any insurance payments kick in.

He lined up at centre back alongside fast-becoming utility player Ben Whiteman. He looked a bit ring rusty at first, but grew into it. He seemed a bit off the pace. But, clearly comfortable with the ball at his feet & knocking little passes forward. Gently encouraging to his younger colleagues. He lasted until half-time, when Ioan Evans replaced him.

The fellas got a long way to go. Hope we helped him a little bit. Presumably he’ll be available for the rematch at Shirecliffe next week.

Adam Drury

That’s presumably the 21 year old guy on Manchester City’s books. Wikipedia has him with extended loan periods at both Burton Albion & St Mirren. He finished his spell at St Mirren in early January. He was set up as an orthodox right back (with the lively Joel Coustrain in front of him - which helped). He broadly did OK. No obvious howlers. Good, innocuous shift. Looked fit & sharp. Slotted in OK. Played the full 90.

Josef Shirdel

Presumably that is (Mohamed) Josef Shirdel, who has been unattached since the middle of 2014. Previously, he’s been at Hamburg SV. Early 20s. United pushed him up front. Lone striker. Ridiculously isolated at times. He clearly thought the way to impress was little flicks & stepovers. Not happening mate. We’re the U21 arm of a Division 3 side. He seemed woefully way off all the time. Difficult to put your finger on. But every run seemed to be in “the wrong direction”. He never really had the ball. He fluffed the only remote, might have been a chance. I can’t recall him winning a header. I do recall some horrendous misplaced 5 yard passes. He lasted the full 90. Presumably, that was the deal done with him/his agent. In any real situation, I’m sure they’d have taken him off. Daniel Cockerline did come on later to join him upfront. Cockerline immediately looked livelier. Runs off the ball. Winning headers. Put Josef into perspective.

When Josef Shirdel is banging goals in for fun in the Championship for us next year, you can remind me that I said in this blog - “surely not, he’s got to be a million miles off a contract”. Apparently he’s recently been training/trialling with West Ham.

The Rest

All that meant that the Younger Blades were a bit disrupted and higgledy piggledy.  That & the wind made it difficult for them to get a rhythm. The 2nd goal looked horrendous. I saw it in real time as a corner, no one defending the front post. A low scuffed cross, beat the first man & went in off George Willis’s knees.  A comedy goal.  I’ll give credit to Joel Coustrain. He kept at it. Was good with the ball at his feet. he stayed strong in EVERY challenge. He’s not a giant, but he was difficult to knock off the ball.  Forest thoroughly deserved the win. Organised & committed.

The Beer

Magpie Brewery, Snowdrop on cask at 4.3% in the Stratford Haven. Lovely. Gentle maltiness. very refreshing.

95/223

Shock - Football Club publicise a Game

Sheffield United U18 1 v Nottingham Forest U18 5

Friday 13 February 2015

Twitter @ball_sup

Battered. But, there's even a worse alternative score. SUFC nil - Forest 23.

The Forest Academy Twitter feed (@NFFC_Academy) put out one Tweet yesterday "promoting" today's match. And 23 Tweets today with team news & live updates. Salute.

@AcademySUFC nil. (Nish on @SUFC_tweets either). If you want to know what happened when they went to The Yorkshire Regiment or to Worksop for the Open Trials - you're well catered for.  But if you want to know anything about the kicky ball match, you're stuffed. No mention that is even taking place.

A football club, mentioning football, when there are Q&As to organise for the Programme & a Sponsored Sleepout to big up, are you Mad.  Fair play, the main Twitter Feed did have the after the event score from the U21s the other day. (@LUFCacademy had 10 Live Tweets from the same game).

OK OK OK. Not everyone is interested in the U18s & U21s. It's no skin off my nose, I go to a lot of the games anyway. People don't want their Twitter Timelines blocked up with - "it's now 3-1 at Shirecliffe".

But, that is why clubs like Forest & Leeds create & use Twitter handles just for their Age Group stuff. If you're only interested in the First Team & Charity bumph, you don't have to follow the Academy feeds.

Opinion - we are a football club, we need to use Social Media to get fans interested in our younger players & teams.

I'm not sure how the Academy ended up playing on a Friday morning. From what I recall, the fixture was in as a Friday right from the day the fixtures were released. Anyway, gave me a rare opportunity to see the U18s in action.

No teamsheets for these games. So, we're in no names no pack drill mode. Sorry.

Jack Lester was out there as Forest Coach

And, then, was that

Ioan Evans
Danny Ramsey
Daniel Cockerline
Jerome Slew

& 7 others out there?

Forest were much stronger. Deserved their win. They could have overrun United by more. I see they have a Youth Cup QF next week v Spurs. Not surprised & Good Luck fellas. Lots of the goals had a similar feel to them. Balls swept in at pace from both wings. United defenders static. Not dealing with it. Good, clean strikes. Net bulges.

Late consolation goal for the Young Blades. A good run down the right from I know not who. Keeper palms the shot out & Cockerline is in the right position & calmly puts it in.

Bad day at The Office. And, then.

Mikkeller Brew Puppy on Keg at 5.2% in BrewDog Sheffield. Light in colour, but very opaque. Great first impression. Bursts with refreshing flavour. A hint of sweetness, soon gives way. Bittering has a bit of tropical citrus. Not overpowering, but you know it's there. As you get further down the glass, the sweetness (Pineapple) gets stronger. But it's very well balanced. That is a great beer.

86/206