Paper Cups I Declare

Yorkshire 517 all out 

v Leicestershire 415 all out 

Yorkshire 220 for 4 

County Championship Division Two

Thursday 6 April 2023 (Day 1) and 

Saturday 8 April 2023 (Day 3) 

Played at Headingley 

Sheffield United 1 v Wigan Athletic 0 

The Championship 

Friday 7 April 2023 

SUFC 2022/23 Game #58 

Albion Sports 2 v Thackley 2 

Northern Counties East Premier Division 

Wednesday 5 April 2023 

Played at Ground Share with Farsley Celtic 

Sheffield United U18 3 v Sheffield Wednesday U18 3 

U18 Professional Development League 

Wednesday 5 April 2023 

Played at Shirecliffe 

SUFC 2022/23 Game #57 

Three games of football, two days of County Cricket, and some beer. This could either be a long Blog. Or basically a diary entry. (We're aiming for the latter).

Let's begin with the important cricket issue of the new season. The Yorkshire County Cricket Club Long Room Bar remains the most fucking soulless and joyless bar at any sporting event. My instinct says the bacon and/or sausage breakfast sandwiches look half decent. The braised beef and potato pie, with mushy peas floating around it, looked a useful handful. But, the beer set up has declared and won't bat again this season.

The whole sorry mess is lead by PAPER CUPS again. Who? Why? How? It's an indoor bar. Glasses are there, behind the bar. Beer in glasses is routinely served in pavilions, members and other bars at County Cricket up, down and around the circuit. But, not here at revived and rejuvenated YCCC. On Day 3, there was an explanation.

Oh. Do. Fuck. Off.

Plus. 12pm to 5pm? Where are we? Nineteen fucking seventy six. Game starts at 11. Finishes a minimum of 96 overs later. Call it 7 o'clock on a bad day. Fucking Joyless.

Arcadia Ale House

Headingley Central, Otley Rd, Headingley, Leeds LS6 2UE

Is, handily enough, an absolutely superb pub. So, the working assumption is that's where the Carrier Bag Firm will drink all season. Let's not mention the Headingley Long Room again. Assume it's fucked unless I update you otherwise.

Seven on Cask. Four or five, depending on your counting method, on pukka craft keg.

Wylam (Newcastle upon Tyne), Fleek on Cask at 4.2%

Fresh crop Citra & Amarillo. Very nice beer. The Citra doesn't come through too much though. But there was still a lot of hoppy flavour.

Horsforth Brewery, Mosaic Pale Ale on Cask at 5.1%

Unfined that one. And was absolutely glorious. There was a Neptune Mosaic on as well. In a previous life, we'd have bought a pint of each and had a gladiatorial Mosaic Off.

It's Yorkshire's to decide what to do with that one. Lead of 322. The County Championship points have been changed (again) this season to reward a win more and a draw less. Bat Leics out of it? And have less time at them? Or get at it? Gibball.

Lyth, Bean and Malan all went cheaply. I'm not sure that makes a heap of difference. The run rate was still 4.7.

Wigan

A good win I thought. Always very nervy at just one nil. But, we had loads of chances and could/should have been out of sight. I couldn't understand how Billy doesn't score his chance. But, on the tele, the keeper just makes a ridic instinctive save. And, maybe Iliman should do better after he's rounded everyone.

Billy Sharp Scores Goals. But, also provides leadership. We'll need that. I thought McBurnie was better with the ball at his feet than he's been for a bit. Facing goal. Coming inside with the ball at his feet. Looking to shoot. We'll need that.

Albion Sports

That Ground Share at Farsley Celtic's The Citadel ground was my 423rd Ground Tick. The goals came in batches. Thackley's opener on 13, equalised on 18. And Thackley's go ahead on 71, equalised on 74.

U18 Name Calling Derby

A bit of a scrappy three all at Shirecliffe. With the Young Blades only equalising on 88, Brandon Ly. But, it was the Kurtis Havenhand show really. Fouled in the box on 9 minutes, for George Dickinson to score the opener. By the time we'd reached 60, Sheffield Wednesday were 2-1 up. Kurtis hit a post on 61, hit the bar on 65, and equalised with a great header on 69.

Wednesday went 3-2 on 76. Before that last gasp equaliser. Simplest thing to say about Kurtis is - he plays like a striker. Ball at his feet, head down, get moving towards goal. Ball in the air, don't worry about defenders, worry about where the ball is, get into position, attack it. Free kicks, I'll have a shot. Greedy For Goals.

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Stats 

I have now Blogged from 1,235 games in 3,154 days 

Beer Blog Toolkit

Wigan Athletic 1 v Sheffield United 2 

The Championship 

Monday 19 December 2022 

SUFC 2022/23 Game #36 

Here's something you need in your toolkit if you want to be taken seriously as a Beer Blogger - The Call Back. Because, we've been here before.

Taphouse

119 Market St, Atherton, Manchester

In September 2017 en route Bolton Wanderers. At that time, the Taphouse was newly opened. And, we just couldn't work it out. The Cask list was just the most uninspiring thing;

Pedigree

Bombardier

Jennings Cumberland

Marston's EPA

We didn't even bother with a bevy that year. So. This year. Trepidatious. But, we needn't have mithered. Five good 'uns on Cask. And an independent Craft Lager. (When I asked for a taste of that, she basically gave me half a pint).

Small World Beers (Huddersfield), Home From Holme, Pale Ale on Cask at 4%.

Smells very fresh. Some marmalade. Absolutely packed with flavour. Some of that marmalade survives. But, luckily for me, the dominant flavour is that growing bitterness. Not harsh. There is some peach swirling around an' all. Lovely beer.

First Chop Brewing Arm (Salford), DDH Citra|El Dorado, Hazy (gluten free) Pale on Cask at 4%

Rather uninspiring if I'm honest. I was expecting more oommpphh. Just a hint of Tizer. Bitterness goes nowhere.

Mallinsons (Huddersfield), Citra on Cask at 3.8%

Excellent, straight ahead Citra. Perfect at that abv. Meaning, quite gentle really. 

I thought that was an odd game. I'm not sure I can remember us being here before. Here being - looking rather ordinary, lacking attacking threat, in trouble at times, but getting wins over the line with some ease.

We didn't seem a threat at all down the right. Baldock not his usual marauding self (but failing to get a good cross in). That also meant him and "The Big Norwegian" couldn't get the triangles and runs to the byline off the whiteboard.

I also thought Foderingham was shaky at times. And, in the sit rep of getting games done when you're not at your best, that can't happen. Anyway. Four fucking away wins on the trot. Stat that up.

The Hypochondria

My name is Phil, I'm a Type II Diabetic. My BMI is 24.4. I've had an Aldi knock off Mini Magnum and a Salted Caramel Sponge Pudding with Ice Cream. Crucially, I have had no indiscriminate choccies, biccies or sweeties since my last Blog.

I average SEVEN units of alcohol per week over the past 7 days.

And, my 30 day average units of alcohol is EIGHT per week.

We're growing ready reckoners now. The weekly target is six pints (or less). Let's hope those fuckers who decide the fixtures remember that.

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Stats 

I have now Blogged from 1,184 games in 3,044 days 

In Threes

Wigan Athletic 0 v Sheffield United 3
The Championship
Tuesday 1 January 2019

Barnsley U18 2 v Sheffield United U18 2
U18 Professional Development League
Saturday 5 January 2019
Played at Oakwell Academy

Sheffield United 0 v Barnet 1
Fa Cup 3rd Round
Sunday 6 January 2019

SUFC 2018/19 Games 53, 54 & 55

May to May Brewery Visits - 73

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The worst of those 3 games. Easy. Barnet at home in the Cup. Ask me another one. In Wilder we trust. Apparently. If “The Club” can be selfish. Rest players. Rotate. Then so can I. If the magic of the Cup has gone. At least I can use it to my advantage. I was looking for a draw there. To give me the chance to go to Barnet (new ground) in a replay & break up my trip to Swansea. You don’t like that? Take it up with Wilder. He started it. I get it, of course. Someone. Somewhere. Once said. “We need to rest the first team for the Cup, we don’t want any injuries or anybody to be tired”. And, then tens of thousands have bought into that. No. Hang on. It’s Hundreds Of Thousands. Here’s one. If you ask players to play with other players, they never play with, then they won’t be able to play. You make 11 changes. That’s disruptive. This is fucking Big Boy’s Football. Barnet will rightly think - Hello. Barnet played very well. They deserved to win. Wilder will blame the players. Because he’s a victim of his own publicity. He’s fucked that up.

The most entertaining of those 3 games. That mad two all draw at Barnsley. The Young Blades were the better team. And, they went 2-1 ahead on 90+4. Substitute Reon Potts getting something on it to help it over the line. Yet. Barnsley got their second equaliser on 90+5. The scenes. The pitches are built into a hill. Terraced down one after the other. I swear, as the Young Tykes swarmed after the scorer, they all disappeared from view as they went over the edge down onto the lower pitch. Both sides had their moments. In general, Barnsley were hitting it long & a lot of stuff could just be tidied up by Kyron Gordon & Jean Belehouan at the back. United played a more controlled game - although not without huff & bluster. Initially, I was impressed by Sammy Ompreon. He took up some great striking positions & had some lovely touches. Sammy scored the opening goal with a neat flick header from George Broadbent’s corner on 19 minutes. He’s looking a little talled & more athletic as he matures & his value in the air is a new thing to his game. From memory, this was my first look at Frank Maguire. He was OK in spells. But, faded in & out at times. One thing I noticed was his apparent two footedness. Keep going with that Kid. Maguire was part of a great move with Ompreon on 24. He played Ompreon in, he stayed calm, but the keeper stayed upright & tall & beat the shot away.

As the game wore on, it was Zak Brunt who caught my eye more. Very switched on. Very nice on the ball. However. If he’s got a Copy Book. He’s blotted it. On 70 minutes, Utd were given a penalty for handball. (It was one each at that stage). The goalkeeper made a FINE save from Brunt’s spot kick. That, and a spate of substitutions for both teams set up that lunatic finish deep into injury time. Very enjoyable game. Disappointing the Young Blades couldn’t cling on.

The best pub across those 3 games. That was hands down, The Bobbin, in Leigh, before the Wigan game. Fairly large single room micropub. Very welcoming. Intriguingly, maybe because it’s January, after a heavy December, they had two lower abv Pales on. The best was the 3.8%, Blackedge Brewing Company, Hop Pale Ale on cask. The Hop bitterness was running all the way through it, with a little citrus cutting in.

As it happens, that beer was more-or-less matched in the best Brewery across those 3 games. The Hilltop Brewing Co just outside Conisbrough. Quite a place. I know my stuff. My trained eye suggested we’d come across a usual Saturday afternoon Old Boys drinking session. We deliberately placed ourselves in “The Tap Room” to be part of it. Some right bollocks being spouted. Most of them seemed to have their Sons come & collect them in the car at a pre-arranged time. Sign. Me. Up.

There were four of their own on cask. The pick was the 4% Blonde. Much hoppier than I expected. And, hooray to that. Lots of floral flavour, well balanced.

762/1601

Grassssss

Sheffield United 4 v Wigan Athletic 2
The Championship
Saturday 27 October 2018

Sheffield United Futures U21 1 v Harworth Colliery U21 1
North Midlands Development Football League, U21s Division
Wednesday 31 October 2018
Played at Stocksbridge Park Steels

Nottingham Forest 1 v Sheffield United 0
The Championship
Saturday 3 November 2018

SUFC 2018/19 Game 33, 34 & 35

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The Spat

Where do they think we've come from? You've seen 'em. The Bigger Away Blade Than You. Do they think we've come to our first away game aged 60 (or whatever)? We've had four of them in Row C, right near the front, we're the row behind. Well, I've benefitted fully from their explanation of how Blades are supposed to behave at Away Games. Thanks guys, I never knew. I mean, OK, I'm steeped in Football Terrace Culture. I've been to a World Cup Final. I've been to The Maracana in Rio, Brazil. I've been to Scotland v England at Hampden Park - numerous times. I've stood on terraces or sat in the stands & seen United teams play on 212 different grounds. But, despite all that, I apparently need four pissed lads to tell me the correct way to behave at games. Thanks guys, really helpful.

Oh, but, crucially, you've got one key point wrong lads. You Grassing Bastard. Dear reader, see if you can spot what they did which goes against my version of Terrace Culture. The Grassing Bastard.

Come in pissed. Stand in front of Blades all game. Swear at Blades all game. Sing. Tell Blades who object to your language to Fuck Off. Tell Blades who aren't singing that they are an embarrassment. Bully female Blades who have a blanket over their laps to keep them warm. Bully older Blades for behaving as if “they're in Church”. Block & jostle in the aisle Blades who you've had words with. Keep telling everyone We're All Blades Aren't We - while firmly believing you're the only Real Blades there.

Alright. Alright. Alright Phil, I hear you say. Maybe they're a pain in the arse. But, you drink. You swear. You've stumbled & fallen about in grounds before now. You've been around the Block. You've actually been punched in the face in that stand on our right. The one these drunken fans are shouting “SCAB” into. When Utd fans were applauding Brian Clough during his last game at this ground, you fell off your seat during a solo rendition of “Hey Rock n Roll, Clough is on The Dole”. Pain in the arse - yes. But, most of that is Terrace Culture. What's your beef?

Big Blade blocked & jostled one of the Carrier Bag Firm in the aisle. A few home truths & facts have been explained to Big Blade about the realities of the situation. So. Big Blade has gone & fetched a Steward. And pointed my mate out to Said Steward. He's a GRASS. That's a No No. The mugs had actually been singing each other's names. So, I know who they are. Including Father & Son. Obviously, I'm not going to expose them here. That would be akin to grassing. I did look Dad & the other two in the eye one at a time at the time. And, I did say - “you've just watched your mate/son fetch that Steward, he is a fucking GRASS”.

If I see them again, I'll call 'em by name & ask for their version of events. If they deny fetching a Steward or (even worse) are proud of it, I'll call them out. Every single time. GRASS. Or they can say they were pissed & they've had a silly & apologise & I'll have not a single problem with that.

The Beer

I might even offer to buy them a beer at Neon Raptor in Nottingham. Set in a unit in Sneinton Market. All the units are being renovated in the same way. Big glass doors, everything open & exposed. The brewing kit was visible, but roped off in one part of the unit. And the Tap is in another bit. Eight on keg. All theirs. Split 5 v 3 into Pales/IPAs & Porters/Stouts. Although two of those three stouts were North of 11%.

I went;
Neon Raptor, Won't You Reconsider, Imperial IPA at 8%
Neon Raptor, Trails And Ways, New England Pale at 5.4%
Neon Raptor, Endangered (2018), Bourbon & Vanilla Porter at 6.6%
Neon Raptor, Paper Heart, American Pale at 4.2%. That was the Standout.

737/1537

Ambition vs Identity

Sheffield United 0 v Wigan Athletic 2

Saturday 6 February 2016

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The Beer was the best thing about today.

Thornbridge - Black Harry on cask at 3.9%
The Captain Cook Brewery - Endeavour on cask at 4.3%
Kelham Island - Back To Black on cask at 4.1%
Kelham island - Best Bitter on Cask at 3,8%

What is Ambition?

In Modern Football, it's spending three quarters of a Million. Which you haven't got. On the last day of the transfer window. United didn't do that. Therefore lack ambition.

In classic chaos management by chaos, they sent Phippsy out front & centre. Mixed up management speak. Right Sizing. Retaining Top Talent. Including a Radio Sheffield interview on the phone. Where you couldn't understand a word he was saying.

If we can't have “ambition”. Let's have Identity. Some American babbling on the phone from Riyadh (assumption) does not a Blade become.

George Long gives us some identity. Louis Reed gives us some identity. Billy Sharp gives us some identity. Tel gives us some identity.

Think. Whether you are 57, 37 or 17. The Blades you loved were Identity Blades. They'd come through the youth team or reserves. They'd been picked & plucked from non-league or the 4th division. They'd stayed at the club, served their time. Some had been born here. Some made here their home. Think.

None of ‘em had been signed for a load of money in a transfer window. None of them wanted a few games under their belt. None of them came here to fill a gap.

Ambition would be nice. Identity is essential. Forget about the Price Tag.

I know. I know. Goals make points make league position make promotion. I know. Stuff identity if we're pissing around at the bottom of Division 3. I know. But…..

You can have the Ambition to run a top rated Academy.

You can have the Ambition to promote youngsters from there. Badger, Maguire.

You can have the Ambition to give 2nd chances to youngsters binned out of Premier League systems. Jags.

You can have the Ambition to spot & develop kids from non/lower league. Hodgy, Deano, Che.

You can have the Ambition to play a certain way. Bassett, Kendall.

You can have the Ambition to be a young, strong, fit team. Who chase everything down.

In the past, it has been those things that have defined our Ambition & our Identity.

I think the current Directors are probably trying to do the right things. But we can't really tell. Because Phippsy is all over the shop when he tries to explain things. Someone without any money of his own. With no background in football at all. Wouldn't have a clue which bus to get to Woodhouse. What I do know is that if they are trying to do the right things, they're shit at it. The 3rd Division table tells me that.

We just can't get our Identity back with Phippsy Babbling. Nice fella, but we can't.

You can have the Ambition to have attacking options - men out wide, creative midfield players, set pieces honed at Shirecliffe. We didn’t. We got nowt. What we deserved. Awful.

273/564