Grassssss

Sheffield United 4 v Wigan Athletic 2
The Championship
Saturday 27 October 2018

Sheffield United Futures U21 1 v Harworth Colliery U21 1
North Midlands Development Football League, U21s Division
Wednesday 31 October 2018
Played at Stocksbridge Park Steels

Nottingham Forest 1 v Sheffield United 0
The Championship
Saturday 3 November 2018

SUFC 2018/19 Game 33, 34 & 35

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The Spat

Where do they think we've come from? You've seen 'em. The Bigger Away Blade Than You. Do they think we've come to our first away game aged 60 (or whatever)? We've had four of them in Row C, right near the front, we're the row behind. Well, I've benefitted fully from their explanation of how Blades are supposed to behave at Away Games. Thanks guys, I never knew. I mean, OK, I'm steeped in Football Terrace Culture. I've been to a World Cup Final. I've been to The Maracana in Rio, Brazil. I've been to Scotland v England at Hampden Park - numerous times. I've stood on terraces or sat in the stands & seen United teams play on 212 different grounds. But, despite all that, I apparently need four pissed lads to tell me the correct way to behave at games. Thanks guys, really helpful.

Oh, but, crucially, you've got one key point wrong lads. You Grassing Bastard. Dear reader, see if you can spot what they did which goes against my version of Terrace Culture. The Grassing Bastard.

Come in pissed. Stand in front of Blades all game. Swear at Blades all game. Sing. Tell Blades who object to your language to Fuck Off. Tell Blades who aren't singing that they are an embarrassment. Bully female Blades who have a blanket over their laps to keep them warm. Bully older Blades for behaving as if “they're in Church”. Block & jostle in the aisle Blades who you've had words with. Keep telling everyone We're All Blades Aren't We - while firmly believing you're the only Real Blades there.

Alright. Alright. Alright Phil, I hear you say. Maybe they're a pain in the arse. But, you drink. You swear. You've stumbled & fallen about in grounds before now. You've been around the Block. You've actually been punched in the face in that stand on our right. The one these drunken fans are shouting “SCAB” into. When Utd fans were applauding Brian Clough during his last game at this ground, you fell off your seat during a solo rendition of “Hey Rock n Roll, Clough is on The Dole”. Pain in the arse - yes. But, most of that is Terrace Culture. What's your beef?

Big Blade blocked & jostled one of the Carrier Bag Firm in the aisle. A few home truths & facts have been explained to Big Blade about the realities of the situation. So. Big Blade has gone & fetched a Steward. And pointed my mate out to Said Steward. He's a GRASS. That's a No No. The mugs had actually been singing each other's names. So, I know who they are. Including Father & Son. Obviously, I'm not going to expose them here. That would be akin to grassing. I did look Dad & the other two in the eye one at a time at the time. And, I did say - “you've just watched your mate/son fetch that Steward, he is a fucking GRASS”.

If I see them again, I'll call 'em by name & ask for their version of events. If they deny fetching a Steward or (even worse) are proud of it, I'll call them out. Every single time. GRASS. Or they can say they were pissed & they've had a silly & apologise & I'll have not a single problem with that.

The Beer

I might even offer to buy them a beer at Neon Raptor in Nottingham. Set in a unit in Sneinton Market. All the units are being renovated in the same way. Big glass doors, everything open & exposed. The brewing kit was visible, but roped off in one part of the unit. And the Tap is in another bit. Eight on keg. All theirs. Split 5 v 3 into Pales/IPAs & Porters/Stouts. Although two of those three stouts were North of 11%.

I went;
Neon Raptor, Won't You Reconsider, Imperial IPA at 8%
Neon Raptor, Trails And Ways, New England Pale at 5.4%
Neon Raptor, Endangered (2018), Bourbon & Vanilla Porter at 6.6%
Neon Raptor, Paper Heart, American Pale at 4.2%. That was the Standout.

737/1537