Sunday, 6 August 2023

A das Booting

Sheffield United 0 v VfB Stuttgart 3 
Friendly 
Saturday 5 August 2023 
SUFC 2023/24 Game #5 

Derby County 1 v Sheffield United 3 
Friendly 
Saturday 29 July 2023 
SUFC 2023/24 Game #4 

The beer adventure between that standard but unconvincing win at Derby and that oh so disappointing das Booting at The Lane was at the CAMRA Great British Beer Festival in Olympia, West London. (Waves - alright Craig).

Seven Hundred and Forty Four beers from Twenty One different, all over the gaff, countries. Beers from UK breweries on both Cask and Keg. One off Cask specials from around the world, particularly the US. Kegs from Europe, Australia & New Zealand. Bottles galore. Cider, Perry, Gin, Wine if that's your boat floater.

"What's the plan, Phil? Are we going to start with Abbeydale, Black Mass and work our way methodically through to Zötler, Korbinian Dunkel?"

"No, we are fucking not. Sure, we'll start with a plan. But we'll have to develop our game play in running. Think of it as Darren Ward adjusting the defensive set up at corners after the oppos have slung a few across and made some subs."

Oli McBurnie was the best centre zone man in the Championship last season. And, you'd have to go a long way to find a better front screen than Oliver Norwood. Neither were playing against Stuttgart. Indeed, nor were recent zone stand-in Daniel Jebbison, nor recent screen Harrison Neal. Darren has had to dig deep. New signing Anis Slimane screened (set a little deeper than normal, almost a quasi-zone). He cleared the very first corner Stuttgart had. Old Hander Sander zoned. He cleared the very second corner Stuttgart had.

Firstly, we look for lower abv Pale Ales. We find and execute half a dozen. Including;

Siren Craft Brew (Wokingham), Mesmerist, Pale Ale on Cask at 3.4%

Superb. Rich, hoppy smells. All that survives into a punchy hop flavour. Underpinned by growing bitterness. Very soft in your gob.

The 2023 Champion Beer Of Britain is due to be announced at 3pm on the first day. One of the Carrier Bag Firm is dutifully sat there with an empty glass "well ahead" of the announcement. So she can sprint to the zone where the winner is being poured as soon as she hears the first bars of the announcement.

Greene King, Abbot. Wetherspoons stalwart. Is announced as the Silver Medal. She's wavering now. I remind her.

"These are BLIND TASTINGS. No one knows it's Abbot when they're trying it. It's come second, out of North of 700 beers, because it tastes goooooood."

"I'm still not fucking having it…"

She's unrepentant.

Elland Brewery, 1872 Porter on Cask at 6.5%. Gold Medal. Champion Beer Of Britain 2023. By the time we get to the pump, they're already restricting it to Thirds and Halfs. No Pints. To give everyone a good go at this worthy winner. 

The CBF BatPhone lights up. One of the West Yorkshire outpost Baggers is absent from the Festival without plausible excuse.

"Just had an email from Calderdale CAMRA stating that 1872 has been voted best beer."

You know what they're like in Yorkshire West. So little going for them, they shout everything from a dilapidated, slates missing, moss covered, bird shitted, rooftop. Salute.

Superb. Just sugar sweet enough for my taste. Port and/or Sherry coming in. Chocolate bitterness.

We adjust our plans to have a crack at medalists in the categories various.

Bragdy Twt Lol (Pontypridd), Dreigiau'r Diafol, IPA Gold Medal, on Cask at 5.5%

My sort of beer. Absolutely riddled with Waimea, Green Bullet, Southern Cross and Sticklebract Hops. 

"What's the plan for Day Two, Phil?"

"Today … we drink beers from the extremities of Bountiful Brewery Britain. Get the fucking maps out."

Monty's Brewery in Powys (we sat with the owner on Day One), Swannay Brewery in Orkney, and Ards Brewing in County Down were all visited. As well as;

Big Hand Brewing (Wrexham), Seren, Pale Ale on Cask at 3.7%

Lovely. Yes, yes, yes I know. We missed that on low abv day. Citrus and soft.

Day Three. Carrier Bag Firm numbers are dwindling. What to do? Fuck me. It's only CRAFT KEG DAY!!!

NorthDown Brewery (Ramsgate), Tidal Pool, Hazy Pale Ale on Keg at 4.6%

Fresh as owt. Proper zingy pale. Moreish.

The final tape showed 29 beer ticks across the Festival.

What do we take out of that Stuttgart game. Well, see above for my excellent and insightful zone and screen analysis. New guy Traoré and Osooooola pressed hard and in a pack for the first three fucking minutes. Then that was it for intensity. Across the lot, static and lacking intensity. From High Press to No Press. Three minutes to eighty seven minutes.

Stuttgart were great at hitting fast, accurate balls to their players running towards goal. United were great at underhitting telegraphed balls to our players running towards the passer, with their back to goal. Very little attempt to play through the lines. 

We were counter attacked at pace. Back three stretched, particularly on the left. All of them having to fill in for each other at times. We have to develop a plan for that. Is it as simple as - don't send all three of them up for corners?

I presume the recruitment plan is to bring in more players who we don't know are any better than what we've already got.

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