Premier League
Saturday 9 March 2024
SUFC 2023/24 Game #53
That Pub would have never opened without me.
The Wight Bear
65 Southbourne Grove, Southbourne, Bournemouth BH6 3QU
Was a revisit. I was last in there for the Billy Sharp game. So, I knew it to be a lovely and welcoming, essentially single room, shop front affair, with (hopefully) a great beer range, with lots of local beers.
However. Having got there at two mins to opening. We peered in. To see someone wiping the tables down. Which is always a good sign two mins to opening. We retired to a respectable non passive aggressive distance and waited for the official opening.
“Sorry. I'm struggling this morning. We had a busy event last night. And I can't find where they've put the nozzles for the beer taps.”
When you clean down a pub at closing, you unscrew the nozzles, and put them in hot water (or similar) to clean/sterilise them overnight.
I could spy that the seven pukka craft Keg lines were, indeed, nozzle-less.
“No worries. We're going to take our time choosing anyway. We've got to consult the Sacred Beer Ticking lists first as it goes.”
BarPerson - looks confused over mention of Sacred lists. Continues search. Steam emerges from ears.
“How we doing? Found them nozzles yet? I'll tell you what. Let's get this show on the road. Are your Cask beers still poured directly out of the Cask in the chilled room? So, you won't need the Nowhere To Be Found Nozzles for those. I'll have…”
Sandbanks Brewery (Poole), Free Bird, American Pale Ale on Gravity Nozzle-less Cask at 4.2%
My Carrier Bag Firm companion emerged from the khazi. Wearing a very confused fizzog. Having ordered a pre-piss Hazy Pale. To be confronted by that Isinglass clear and frankly brown ‘un. A good straightforward beer. Nice and anesthetic on the tongue.
By now, other punters were arriving and a-entering. To be met with the Nozzle Nonsense.
“Sorry. I can't serve you at the moment. I can't find where the nozzles have been put from last night.”
Queue forms.
I generally find what you need in these confused circumstances is a fat, greying, opinionated pensioner wearing a Lacoste Polo. That'll usually sort the problem. With no chance of making it worse. (Sniggering…)
Your correspondent surveys the behind the bar vista. He knows. Deep in his soul.
“When looking for Nozzles. Look for Nozzle sized receptacles.”
“Is there any chance the nozzles are in that ice bucket there?”
Boooooom. He shoots. He scores. He's not wearing a cape.
That Pub would have never opened without me.
Nozzle me up Baby.
Unity Brewing Co (Southampton), Only The Sea, Hazy IPA from a Nozzle at 5.8%
Columbus. With Mosaic for Dry Hopping. (Finally) I loved that. A bit of washing up liquid at the start. Then a great big whack of tinned fruit salad. Then the bitterness grows out of that joooze.
Boscombe Brewing Co, Cole Porter, Porter on Keg at 5.6%
Chinook and Cascade. Some sweet red fruit. But mainly into coffee and chocolate. And, your regular reminder that Porters are supposed to be bitter. This one was. Lovely.
Maule Brewing Co (Northampton), Vesta Pale, on Keg at 4.9%
Better drink this and fuck off before Glen turns up. Given that time, I suspect he's here for the Six Nations Rugby. Be asking whether they serve Guinness. Won't like the Porter as a substitute - too bitter. I've asked the BarPerson whether she can lose those Nozzles again and fuck Glen's day right up.
(Remember. I'm currently cutting Chris some slack as I was drinking with him in the week.)
As that was a committed performance, I found it easy to summarise where we are. Wilder and Knill can do the body count in the week. And pick the XI they want out of those. They can drill them through the week. And set them up for what they expect.
And. It's a big and. And. If we don't concede early. We're OK. We can do some of the right things. Stay in games. And get at the other team a bit. But, we can't stay like that. Because we tire. And we're at it less and less. And we're increasingly getting caught out.
So. Chris can either let that go on. Or he can sub for legs. And, if he subs for legs, the new legs will be better at legging, but they're next string down on the things that have kept us in the game to that point.
We're broadly OK with the best we've got that week, on at the start, fired up, and well drilled. But we HAVE to make substitutions. And, I'm afraid those substitutions disrupt us, make us worse, put us into fuck sake try to hang on mode. But we HAVE to make those subs as some starters are just done by that stage.
None of that is clearer than at defending corners. McBurnie is superb as The Zone. If he goes for it, he gets it. Osula is absolutely shit in The Zone. He fucking goes for everything, and gets nothing.
McAtee could be a great impact sub if you're one down. And doing OK at chasing the game. But McAtee is an awful sub when you're winning. He has many qualities. But work rate, shape and tracking ain't ‘em.
It sounds mental. We're worse when we Sub. But we have to Sub.
When McBurnie is the lone striker, it's all - get in position, make a back, don't jump, let it hit him for a hold up, or try to draw the foul (note - won't). When he's with a striker partner (today Brereton-Díaz) he's all - attack the ball, get a yard on your marker, win the header, and flick it on.
On the positive side - shows he's flexible and got an all round game. On the negative side - as a lone striker, holding it up for Norman No One. No fucking thanks. Looks a proper striker when paired. But. Will need to be subbed.
I thoroughly enjoyed that game. Because, well because I thought we might win it at one point.
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