Premier League
Saturday 11 May 2024
SUFC 2023/24 Game #70
Visiting some Pubs on football AwayDays can be great because there's a large range of superb tasting beers. And some Pubs can be great because of the absolutely mad shit which has gone on.
The Lower Angel
27 Buttermarket St, Warrington WA1 2LY
Had a lot of both. Our timings were a little off. For reasons unknown, the GangMaster prints out a list of away fixtures in time for the first game of the season. Details include date, departure time and cost. Of course, loads of games are switched for a variety of reasons. So the list is redundant before the ink is fucking dry.
The original list had Everton away on Saturday 11 May (that survived), departing at 10am (that didn't). At some point, the GangMaster has had a relapse, checked his pub opening time alignment with his departure time directive calibrated against his mileage chart.
Firstly, he's considered an Act of Parliament to change the pub licensing hours.
Secondly, he's considered another Act of Parliament to increase the speed limit to 100mph so he can get the coach to the pub earlier.
Thirdly, he's considered moving Warrington closer to Sheffield, or vice versa.
He's absolutely gobsmacked when the World won't bend to his will on those options. So, he's said - fuck it, we'll set off at nine.
Thing is. Once he's made that decision. He turned from his GangMaster persona to his MotherHen guise. Constantly reminding everyone it's Nine, not Ten. Not Ten as set in stone on the original first match of the season list. The list that everyone throws away as soon as the first fixture changes.
You can check my phone. Two reminders a day for two weeks that it's nine, not ten.
He's also rode roughshod over the initially announced £25 fare. Declaring it a FREE TRIP. So, that'll work.
What happens? We get to Warrington before opening time. The Carrier Bag Firm fragments. A small few find ourselves wandering into The Lower Angel, as it appears to be open before time.
I chat the Manager up, as you do. A lady comes in. Nice and friendly. Calls me La’. I call her Love. She's in her twenties (guess). Stone cold sober as best I can tell. Not a black eye. But she's had one recently. Orders a Madri. Gets a load of coins out. And passes them to the Manager one at a time.
“I'm gonna need more. I'm gonna need more than that. More…”
In only a few minutes, another female member of staff arrives. To relieve the Manager who clearly has to nip out for a bit.
It's a distinct two room pub. But, the Madri lady is a bit of a walkabout livewire. And she's in a different room to the new BarPerson. As they are reunited, briefly…
“Oh fucking hell. Not you. I can't be doing with you this morning. I thought we weren't serving you no more.”
Let us say - the assumption is they have previous. But, as a Madri has already been purchased. We're all good for now. Except.
The Madri lady makes a bee line for the CBF table. She addresses one of us directly.
“Excuse me. I need to speak to a woman.”
Appropriate Bagger attempts to detach herself for the supposed Womanno a Womanno.
“No. It's alright. You can stay there. I just wanted to tell you I've been Bra Shopping.”
(makes gesture of holding breasts up)
I don't think anyone expected it to unfold thus.
The new BarPerson was bang at it brilliant. As more and more CBF arrive. Including MotherHen himself. The BarPerson has got it all on. But, she's serving many at the same time (not Madri lady obvs). Pulling pints in both rooms. Letting ‘em settle. Forgetting nobody. Forgetting nothing. I feel she deserves some appreciation.
“Can I buy you one?”
“Thank you.”
Pulls double vodka. (Incidentally she clearly doesn't charge me full for that). Downs in one. High Fives me (I'm 65). And says;
“I haven't really been to bed since Wednesday morning…”
Absolute Mad House.
It's effectively a Liverpool Brewery pub. A magnificent nine on Cask. Aaahhh, matching the new coach departure time, I hear you say…
Liverpool Brewing Co. Hop Burst, Pale Ale on Cask at 4.1%
Great beer. Falconers 7Cs, Mosaic, Azacca. Soft mouthfeel. Some grapefruit. Great flavours.
Liverpool Brewing Co. Cascade, Pale Ale on Cask at 3.8%
Absolute belter. There's a good deal of gentle bitter up the back end. And some sugar first up. Lovely balance.
Liverpool Brewing Co. Kitty Wilkinson, Milk Stout on Cask at 5%
Named for Catherine Wilkinson, the Saint of The Slums. During an 1832 cholera outbreak, Kitty had the only boiler in her neighbourhood. She invited anyone to wash their (potentially infected) clothes and linen, saving many lives. As a campaigner, activist and fundraiser, she was later responsible for the opening of the first combined washhouse and public baths in the UK.
We toasted her, enthusiastically, with that stout. Congratulations - you have just been informed by the Carrier Bag Firm.
Incidentally, as I bought that one, having already established my friendly credentials with the vodka swilling BarPerson, she said;
“Watch the bar for me La’. If anyone comes in, tell ‘em I've gone for a wee…”
Lovely Mad House.
Very disappointing performance. Never really out of it at one nil. But certainly never really in it either.
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