Stuart Broad, "The Truth"

England 403 all out
v Australia 203-3
close on Day Two

Third Ashes Test

Played at The WACA Ground, Perth

Friday 15 December 2017

451 Australian Beer Ticks

I've not even got out of the hotel lift before the Bantz has started this morning. We enter lift. Two fellas in.
Me “Hello mate, how are you today?”
Him “You going to the Cricket?”
Me “Yes mate, are you?”
Him “Noooo, but your day will deteriorate”
Me (thinks bubble) “Oh do F*** Off you silly little C***”
Me (speech bubble) “This is Australia mate, it's been deteriorating for the last 212 years, why should today be any different?” - exits lift.

Top of me head stuff that. I've been desperately Googling “what happened in Australian history in 1805” in order to justify myself.

Look. I'm a loyal & proud Stuart Broad fan. When he hangs 'em up. His figures will show him to be right up there with any English Seamer. He does my favourite trick. He takes wickets in blocks. Busts through teams. Wins. Games.

But, naturally. In Australia. I BOO him. He's a superb Pantomime Villain. First sign. First announcement. He'll kop the lot from me. (Giggles).

So. I overheard an interesting conversation between a young Aussie Lad (maybe 11) & what I took to be his Mum. Both wearing Latest Polyester Brand Aussie Cricket Kit. Mum wondered out loud why Broad was being Booed. (Including by the Mad English Idiot with the carrier bag). The exasperated Kid explained it to Mum. He's 11 FFS. I'll cut him slack. But, virtually EVERY aspect of the story was wrong. Location. Time. Details. All wrong.

You'll recall gist. Broad hits cover off it. Is caught at Slip off the spinner. Appeals all over. Umpire unmoved. Broad looks the ish of sheep. Stands there. Aussies do the T. But. The rub. No reviews left. Whole Australian Nation Goes MELTDOWN. Gotta BOO the fella after that…..

But, the key difference in the Young Lad’s version is that Broady was GIVEN OUT on the field. Then sent it for DRS himself. (Where's Watto when you need him). Was then GIVEN OUT upstairs an’ all. But simply refused to leave the crease. Kid believed this. Mum took it in. Dad didn't correct. Lovely. An escalating Urban Myth. With barely a shred of truth left. Boo. Indeed.

Mash Brewing, Little NEIPA, New England IPA from a tin at 3.5%. (Sourced from Mane Liquor)
I'm increasingly nervous around Gloop Juice New England IPAs. But, I'll say I thoroughly enjoyed that. Not a Boo to be heard. A lot of hoppyness. Without ever developing full on palate killer. A hint of tropical fruit. And the finish is nice. A very well appointed beer.

Otherside Brewing Co, Social, Classic Lager from a tin at 4.7%. (Sourced from Mane Liquor). They're not wrong. That is a Classic Lager. I got a hint of nice apple sourness. Lots of flavour going on. And some citrus zest at the end. Lovely beer.

The Mantra. England can compete & stay with the Aussies in games. And for long periods. But, not long enough. And not every session. The - have a beer, calm down, it'll all look different - version is Australia are still 200 down. Three gone. But it's the route taken. 305 for 4 last night. Became 368-5. Became 403 all done.

Great Ton for Bairstow. But, eventually, he let himself down. Div. Have you noticed. He's always bubbly and at it. Charging out of the rooms. First to the physical jerks. That sort of caper. Ditto at Tea. He can't wait to get down the steps on to the green. About turn. Go previous. He has forgotten his keeping gloves. Oh my word.

575/1214