Premier League
Sunday 18 February 2024
SUFC 2023/24 Game #50
Hallam 2 v Lincoln United 2
Lincoln United win 6-5 on Penalties
FA Vase 5th Round
Saturday 17 February 2024
“I see that's a milestone, Phil. Your fiftieth United game this season. Did you enjoy it?”
“All I'm prepared to say is I drank a Pint of Abbeydale Moonshine in The Cricketers. Otherwise, can we move on?”
Hallam's Vase adventure came to an end on Saturday. The game was cagey at times. Committed at others. I didn't quite feel The Countrymen did themselves full justice. Maybe not always playing to their strengths.
Lincoln United play in the United Counties Premier North. That's Step 5, the same level as Hallam. A fleet of coaches dropped their fans off opposite the hole in the ground where The Plough used to be. (Question for Editor. Is it appropriate to declare three as a Fleet?) Fair fucks to them. Although, they were dwarfed in a frankly fucking ridiculous 1,287 crowd.
Anyone from Hallam reading this - you need to start investing some of this money into Development Teams, and Women's Teams. Demolish the “Golf Club” image. Move towards “Football Club”.
Look. I'm not proud of this. But, there was always going to be a large crowd. The Can Bars are all well and good for the Civilians. But, they've dropped off our radar now they don't stock Crosspool Alemakers. Sure, the Carrier Bag Firm can get up the hill early enough to grab a Salt LOOM in the 1860. But, refills? With that crowd? Gonna be a tough ask.
So. We “had to” go down our own smuggle the cans in route. Not proud. Here's the drill.
Pick cheap cans. This is just alcohol delivery. In the unlikely event you get questioned at the Gate;
“Oh. I'm sorry. My Bad. I didn't realise. I don't want to do the wrong thing. I'll just put them in this bin, shall I?”
Cheap cans are disposable. A few quid? Just walk away from the problem.
Pick 330s. They'll stand out less in the stands. A big fuck off 500. You're drawing attention to yourself, Pal. A 500 looks like a Tin of Beer. A 330 looks like a Can of Pop.
May I introduce you to - Lock Ten Brewing Co. No hiding. That's “really” Freedom Brewery in Staffordshire. Freedom brew for Aldi. A bloke called Jim drives it from Freedom to Aldi. And I fucking buy it for a Quid-a-Quaff. Disposable at that price. In a 330? Yes. In a fucking 330.
The Lock Ten Brewing Co, Session IPA at 3.9%, is, by collaboration with the Carrier Bag Firm, packaged to look all the world like a can of orangeade Fanta. Other brews in the stable look like Vimto (Mark had that one), Lemonade and Tizer. They are, undoubtedly the perfect Vase Vessels, Trophy Tins and Cup Cans.
Cascade, Jester, Herkules, Centennial, Progress and Columbus Hops. That's less than 17p a Hop!!!
Lincoln U went ahead on 26. Basile Zottos equalised for Hallam just after HT. A penalty to LUFC on 61 pushed them ahead. Danny Buttle himself scored the two all penalty with seven left.
Hugo won the toss for the shootout to take place in front of the overspilling Shed End. It went no miss five all. Before Lincoln United got it done.
Don't forget to, discreetly, put the empty tins in the bin. We're not savages….
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