Monday 22 July 2024

Ten Years In A Lacoste Polo

Northampton Town 1 v Sheffield United 1 
Pre-Season Friendly 
Tuesday 22 July 2014 
SUFC 2014/15 Game #1 

Ten years ago today, I attended the first game I wrote a Ball-Sup Blog about. Chris Wilder was managing our opponents, Northampton Town, that night!!!

I'm quite proud of the fact I've been Blogging ever since. Ten years seems like a bit of an achievement. So, I'm bigging myself up.

Look. It's niche. But, I think by now people know what the Blog is about. And how it works. Thanks to everyone who has supported it over the ten years.

I'm writing this now because this is the last Blog which will appear on the Blogspot site. My Blogspot site is being retired as a Ten Year Archive. One thousand two hundred and seventy one Blogs from one thousand four hundred and sixty two games/days of live sport.

Don't worry/be afraid. This is NOT the end of the Blog. It's just that the Blogspot App, Web, Tools, etc are getting very clunky. I'm sort of having to write and publish things “twice”.

So, from now on, I'll be concentrating on my Substack Site. My Blogs have been published on there for a while. And, I started promoting that site (over the Blogspot one) a while ago. Weaning readers away from Blogspot to Substack if you like.

So. If you haven't already, point your browser at


or download the Substack App and find me on there.

Or subscribe (permanently free of charge) so that my Blog will be delivered to your inbox by email.


And the Ten Year Archive will remain at;


The Blog is (not) dead. Long live the fucking Blog. See you on the other side.

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Whitt Moor Hand-to-Hand

Chesterfield 0 v Sheffield United 3 
Friendly 
Saturday 20 July 2024 
SUFC 2024/25 Game #1 

Because I hadn't been in the country for a bit, all my tickets for pre season had congregated at a friend's house. So, I had to do a hand-to-hand with him on Whitt Moor. They use The Red Lion, at the end there, by the roundabout. As a Beer Ponce, that wouldn't be my natural choice. 

Two things you should know about the signs on the pub. If that R gets anymore wonky, we'll rename it The Something Lion. And, the Pub is available for new managers if anyone wants to take it on.

Pleasantly surprised. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Welcome to the new season.

The Red Lion 
570 Sheffield Rd, Whittington Moor, Chesterfield S41 8LX

Three on Cask. All from Old Mill Brewery in Snaith. Hard plastic glasses though. Don't feel there was a need for that. Bar Person/Manager absolutely outstanding. Serving multiple people at the two bar fronts. And reassuring everyone else she'd seen them, and they would be next, or at least soon. Outstanding. Although I felt we suffered a bit from “first pulls” on the Cask Ales. But, as we ploughed on, we thoroughly enjoyed them. I'm singling out;

Old Mill Brewery, Styrian Wolf, Single Hopped Pale Ale on Cask at 4.2%

Nice n bitter all the way down. Coming off some orange/mango sweetness. A real grower. New Season. Let's get at it.

Fucking upholstery could do with some work, mind.

Unless you attach yourself to every (social) media outlet. And pretend you know who our transfer targets are. Modern, Championship Club pre seasons are tricky. A load of blokes you half remember, some blokes you'd fucking forgotten, multitudes of kids from the Academy, and some new names you haven't yet learned.

If you're very unlucky, the geezer behind you in the ground will speak with faux authority about the percentage passing phases of the new left back. Having “scouted” him previously.

And then, come the Window closing at the end of August, who fucking knows who'll still be around. What we do know is there'll be some expert, having seen (insert Academy Kids name), and pronounced his performance at Chesterfield “decent”, who'll be petitioning for him to go on loan to League One. While we get some Journeyman in.

Osula wide left in the Jarrod Bowen role was interesting. And paid off. Louie Marsh has not particularly shone when he's had a chance. Competent. But not shining. I'm a little disappointed in that. Sasnauskas did himself a whole heap of good. And it was great to see Owen Hampson getting his goal.

Good workout. I thought we did well. Long way to go.

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Sunday 21 July 2024

Correct, Chelmsford Is Not In Middlesex

Gloucestershire 179 for 8 
beat Middlesex 169 for 7 
by 10 Runs 
T20 Blast 
Thursday 18 July 2024 
Played at Chelmsford !!! 

Partly. Back from Germany to the calmness of County Cricket. Partly. Back to the madness which is County Cricket 2024. I recently Blogged about Exclaves. Bits of West Berlin, which are geographically in, and surrounded by, East Germany.

“No Chelmsford is not an Exclave of Middlesex.”

Yet. Here we are. A Middlesex “home” T20 game being played at The County Ground in Chelmsford, home of Essex County Cricket Club. Middlesex's traditional home is Lord's Cricket Ground. But they play there as tenants, granted a game by the Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) landlords. With increasing demand for Lord's. International cricket, Women's cricket, The Hundreds. The MCC cannot provide as many game days as MCCC need.

Increasingly, Middlesex have used (so called) outgrounds. Radlett in particular. But, this season's spreadsheet algorithm shows it's more expensive to set up a Radlett outground for a T20 game, than it is to “rent” an already set up Chelmsford ground. So. two Middlesex “home” T20 Blast games are being played “along the road” at Chelmsford.

Sure. Sure. Sure it makes financial sense. I believe you. But. FFS. Is this what Cricket 2024 has come to.

The format of the T20 Blast is shit an’ all. Group stage, to qualify for Quarter Finals. The pretence of every County still in it until the end of days. If we beat them, and those beat the others, and the Net Run Rate improves…

Middlesex lost. Middlesex are out. Glos are in the Quarters.

100 for no wicket off eleven overs. Under nine an over off the rest. You fancy Middlesex from there. But they lost wickets. And that slowed the run rate. At 15 Overs, Middlesex needed 57 off 30 balls, three gone. By 18 gone, they'd lost 6 wickets, and needed 32 off two overs. Never looked like getting that.

A four and a six off the lost cause last two balls made it look closer than it was. Poor I felt.

First Cask Ale since 7 June.

The Hop Beer Shop
173 Moulsham St, Chelmsford CM2 0LD

Four on.

Colchester Brewery, Metropolis, Blonde Ale on Gravity at 3.8%

I needed that one. Spicy leading into bitter, with icing sugar on the lips.

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Love An Exclave Me

FSV Babelsberg 74 1 v BSG Stahl Brandenburg 4 
Friendly 
Tuesday 16 July 2024 
Played at Sportplatz an der Rudolf Breitscheid Strasse 
Ground Tick #501 
German Beer Ticks FINISH on this trip at #161 

My 501st Ground Tick was out in Babelsberg.

“You'll be familiar with Babelsberg of course.”

“Whaaaaat? You're not.”

“Well please fucking tell me you've heard of Steinstücken. Just across the railway from the ground.”

“No. Never. Strap yourself in…”

We're pre programmed I feel to think of the Berlin wall as a wall snaking through the city centre of Berlin. A grim, urban setting. But of course, there was mile after mile of East Germany to the West of West Berlin. And to the North. And to the South of course.

Essentially, the whole of West Berlin was surrounded by a wall. It didn't just cut through the City Centre. 

On our trip out to FSV Babelsberg 74, the Carrier Bag Firm visited Schloss Cecilienhof. The mad Tudor Manor House style gaff outside Potsdam. Cecilienhof was where Winston Churchill, Harry Truman and Uncle Jo Stalin met in July/August 1945 to carve up Europe at the end of the Second World War.

I weren't there. But you can imagine. We'll have this bit. You can have this bit. I've no fucking clue what this bit is. Fuck it, you have it. It was ever thus. For, earlier, in 1920, when Greater Berlin was formed, there were ten exclaves. Ten bits of land, villages which administratively belonged to Greater Berlin. But which were geographically in Brandenburg, the neighbouring Province. The result, maybe, of the - fuck it, we'll have it - school of map making.

I'm going to keep recapping. These are places which administratively belong to one region. But are actually located in another region. These are oddities. These are exclaves. These are the places Winston, Harry & Josef put in the too hard, leave well alone, chapter of The Potsdam Agreement.

And. I'm happy to report. They are fucking barmy.

Erlengrund. A bit of West Berlin surrounded by East Germany. One point three acres. Allotments. Allotments tended by West Berliners. But in East Germany. When you wanted to prune yer Roses, or dig up your spuds, you had to have an armed East German Border Guard!!!

Basically, only one exclave had people permanently living there. Steinstücken. A bit of West Berlin completely surrounded by East Germany. And just across the way there from this football ground I'm sitting in.

151 acres of land. Approximately 300 breathing humans. East Germany even invaded it in 1951. Fuck Sake. The US threatened a Big Dooo unless they fucked off sharpish. Which they did. But, petty doesn't cover it, the East Germans decided the Steinstückenites could no longer do their shopping in the next town, and certainly couldn't go for a bevvy at Brauerei Meierei. For owt they had to do, the villagers of Steinstücken had to go through two East German Border Checkpoints, along a 1.1k road into “true West Berlin”.

Work, school, shopping, ground hopping, the lot. Two Checkpoints.

Of course, this mad bit of West Berlin in East Germany also attracted a lot of people trying to defect to The West and Freedom. Twenty East German Border Guards escaped to the West through Steinstücken. Twenty. Piece of piss this way was the word on the streets. The East Germans beefed it all up. Bigger wall. That sort of caper.

Things got so tasty that the US established a military base in Steinstücken. With all personnel coming in and out by helicopter.

I'm pleased to say that diplomacy and jaw jaw eventually found a way. The Four Power Agreement was signed in 1971. That resolved a number of border irregularities. West Berlin ceded enough land to East Germany to allow a pukka, West Berlin controlled, road corridor between Steinstücken and West Berlin proper.

Oh. And East Germany were paid four million Deutsche Marks.

Congratulations You Have Just Been Informed By The Carrier Bag Firm.

Throughout the dark days of the Cold War, the people of Steinstücken were not able to visit;

Brauerei Meierei
Im Neuen Garten 10, 14469 Potsdam

They couldn't. So we did. A superb biergarten setting on the Jungfernsee. Three of their own beers on.

Brauerei Meierei Potsdam, Weizen on Keg at 5.3%

There was a beer tick in the ground. I reckon I'm “benefitting” from a bit of regional beer rivalry. That's the third Berliner Kindl Schultheiss Brauerei beer I've ticked in a German ground in just four days. There ain't much difference between them. But, you've got to call ‘em the name the drinkers will recall.

Berliner Kindl Schultheiss Brauerei, Jubiläums Pilsener at 5.1%

It took an age to get served at the hatch. As I was making my way back around to the pitch, the guy who had been in front of me commented to me in German. I gave him my best - I'm a tourist, I don't really speak German, just a bit I learned at school, but, yes, he did take fucking ages - apology.

He was good as gold. But, explained, in German, that he had been taught Russian at school. Obvs. We're in the Old East. He was 53. Born in 1971. His best English was nicked from Springsteen.

“Born in the GDR…”

A better than some I've seen, high tempo, both teams at it, game.

My time in Germany has come to an end. For my archives, I going to wrap.

To fulfill family commitments as well as the EUROs, I left my house at Carrier Bag Firm Towers on 5 June. I got back on 19 July. I spent 37 hotel nights in Germany. I attended those seven England games. But only one ground Tick in there. I got to 12 German pre season games - all ticks. Nineteen games, thirteen ground ticks, seven beer ticks at those games.

On the plane home, I calculated that I'd ticked 94 German Beers on this trip. If I'd have realised I was so close to the milestone, I'd have gone for it a bit in those last few days. Still. Can't have everything.

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Everything I Could Dream Of

VfB Einheit zu Pankow 4 v SG Blankenburg 1 
Exer Pokal 
Monday 15 July 2024 
Played at Tesch Sportplatz, Berlin 
Ground Tick #500 
German Beer Ticks up to #155 

I'd been wondering from some way out what my 500th Ground Tick would be. Would it be something spectacular I could engineer? The Yerevan Derby? Would it be a Sheffield United tick? I'll let you into a secret. Chris Wilder told the Carrier Bag Firm face-to-face that United would be sending a team to play VfL Bochum.

Off screen narrator…

“Fucking No. Not back to fucking Germany…”

Would away at Bochum be my 500th?.(BTW the CBF are pretty sure that game can't happen now).

Would my 500th be a farce? No beer in the ground. Just a Greene King pub half a mile away. Nil Nil.

As England stayed deeper into the EUROs, and German Ground Ticks opened up, it became clear that I'd just have to take it like a man. When 500 come, she come. Be careful what you wish for.

In the event, everything I could have dreamed of.

“A great craft beer brewery bar just down the road from the ground.”

“Beer in the Ground KLAXON. And it was a Tick. My 155th.”

“I met a lovely German guy, Kim (surely the most Un-German name ever), the next time I find myself in Essen, he's hosting at Rot-Weiss. And we're going to get at it.”

Everything I dreamed of. Low. Key.

Bräugier BrewPub
Stubbenkammerstraße 6, 10437 Berlin

I couldn't quite tell, but I think the Brewery was out the back. Through the door marked - Privat. The brewery and bar staff seemed distinctly multi national. (American) English, Italian and German being spoken in rotation.

Crucially, at 5pm, they didn't mind me singing along, at the top of my voice, to the playlist. New Order as you're asking.

“We're like Crystal. We break easy…”

“Hoo Hoo”

Eleven on.

Bräugier Craftbier, Live And Let Live Cryo, Cryo Hazy IPA on Keg at 5.6%

Temporarily, we move into NoLagerPhase. Thick & chewy. I got a big bitter hit at the back o' me gizzard. Slightly anesthetic. Great beer.

Bräugier Craftbier, Poor But Hoppy, West Coast IPA on Keg at 5.7%

There was an abv and Hop souped up “American” version of this on the board as well. I went for “the classic”. I always catch myself thinking “what are Westies supposed to taste like”. And here we are, the Eastie Boys on a Westie. I loved that. Simple. Uncomplicated. Tobacco bitterness. Centennial, Simcoe, and Columbus Hops.

Bräugier Craftbier, Science Projekt: V1.1 Milk Stout, on Nitro at 4.7%

Maybe a bit thin in the mouth. And comes across as not Milkee enough.

The Exer Pokal appears to be a short ten team pre season tournament for local way down the pyramid teams. All played at the Tesch Sportplatz. 4g. €2 to get in. Big end wall of a building down one side. Union Berlin graffiti on that. And, a very pertinent political question;

“Warum Hunger?”

And. There was a beer tick over there on the far side.

Berliner Kindl Schultheiss Brauerei, Schultheiss Pilsener at 5%

Me n Kim are now Futbology Friends.

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Thursday 18 July 2024

How Do We Get To Ballymena, I Don't Know

England 1 v Spain 2 
UEFA EUROs 2024 Final 
Sunday 14 July 2024 
Played in Berlin 
England Away Game #161 
German Beer Ticks up to #151 

That's it then. We're done. You'll have all seen it. A lot of you on the Tele. You'll have your opinions. That's the deal isn't it. Everyone has their piece of the England team.

Spain didn't let us play for long periods. We gave the ball away too often and too easily. Sat deep. The Spanish players had a lot of space at times. And we generally lacked energy and oooofffftttt towards the top of the park. Sounds awful when I write it like that.

But, of course, it felt different in the ground. We did stay in the game. What a fucking feeling when Palmer's goal went in. But. That's it then.

The manager? My main issue is I definitely DON'T want a foreign manager. We've been down that road before. This is international football. We showcase what we've (the English) got. And if it's not good enough, we can be upset, we can moan, we can build a better showcase. We've developed our top level structure to showcase foreign talent. And to rely on celebrity managers. The same three being appointed on a merry go round. It's fucking mental.

I like Southgate. He embodies what I think it's like to be English. Calm, polite, thoughtful, supportive, self aware. He's the (correct) antidote to the arrogant, entitled, vein popping, pundit repeating pricks. Of which there were many in Berlin I'm afraid.

If he had stayed. I could have lived with that. He's gone. I can live with that. If he's replaced by who is judged to be the next English England manager. I can live with that. If he's replaced by a foreign manager. I'll have to live with that.

What do we do now?

We try to get confirmation that England Under 21 game in September is being played at The Ballymena Showgrounds. That'll be a good ground tick. And we decide whether it's best to stay in Belfast, Derry, or Ballymena itself. Before finding a way to get to Dublin for England's Nations League game the day after. That's what we fucking do, mate.

I've actually become a little bit of a celebrity in the German grounds, among the England fans.

“Why's that Phil? Because you've been going since 1983? Because you were at the 1988 EUROs and this is your second go-a-round in Germany. Third if you count the World Cup. Are other fans finally beginning to recognise your elder statesman gravitas? Are they Blog readers, wanting to say how much the Blog has cheered them up through the tournament? Is that why you're becoming a little bit of a celebrity?”

“No mate. It's the Selfies.”

The Carrier Bag Firm have to get into these stadiums early. Avoid the pushing and shoving on the trains. Get through security and tickets before it turns into a mad rush. Claim our own seat. And defend it against Mr Sit Where You Like.

We often find ourselves in with other earlies. Some of them (bless), could be their first England game. Some of them, their 101st, bumping into friends they haven't seen since Qatar. Some of them have their flags. Tom & Ally On Tour. RIP Jinxy. Hallam FC. Lest We Forget. We See Things You'll Never See. Bring Back Fingering (!!!). Slogans is what I'm saying.

And, many of them will want the Photey. For the Facebook. For the Insta. For the hell of it. For the moment. They will stand on the steps. They will see a cuddly old fella. And they will say;

“Would you mind taking a photo of us, Pal?”

“Of course, do you want it this way round, or this? Shall I get the scoreboard in the back? Shufty in a bit so I can get all of you and the flag in. I'll take a few. So you can choose the best one. Look like you're enjoying yourselves for fuck sake. Here we go…”

From their perspective, they see a vulnerable individual, trying his best, poking at their phone screen, for all he's worth, tap, tap, tap.

“There you go. I think there'll be some good ‘uns in those. Have a good night. It's Coming Home…”

What they don't yet realise is, for some of those photos, I've flicked their phone onto Selfie Mode, slightly changed my bewildered old man concentrating face into POUTY FACE and selfied myself into their reel.

Later. They will check their phone. And they will see. And they will firstly think - who the fuck. And then they will think - how the fuck. And mainly - why the fuck. They will process it all, the photos with the flag, the photos with their mates, and the photos of my pout. And they will smile. And they will think…

“The fucker…”

And, at the Final in Berlin, one of them will walk up my aisle. Glance my way. Double take. Stare a bit to make sure. Attract my attention;

“Hey mate, I've got a great photo of you on my phone…”

He will show me. We will both giggle. He will go and get the others who were at the photoshoot. And they will all shake my hand. England fans across the generations. The baton is passed. See you in Ballymena.

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Monday 15 July 2024

Ein-Mann-Unternehmen

SF Charlottenburg-Wilmersdorf 4 v SC Gatow 2 
Friendly 
Sunday 14 July 2024 
Played at Stadion Wilmersdorf 
Ground Tick #499 
German Beer Ticks up to #149 

One of the Carrier Bag Firm memes that has been developing at German lower league friendlies had been the rewilding of the terraces, as grounds regress to just one side being maintained and used.

You may have read the CBF Allotment Correspondent’s view of sapling infiltration at SV Lichtenberg 47. Or read the description of a Hi-Vizzed steward feeding ducks among the foliage at Dynamo Berlin.

Well. Stadion Wilmersdorf, home of Tier 8 SF Charlottenburg-Wilmersdorf of the Bezirksliga Berlin 1 league, and my 499th Ground Tick has raised the fucking stakes.

As long ago as 1984, they let the North Stand go. But, rather than let nature take its own route. They went to their friends in Rheingau-Taunus and asked their advice. Resulting in one hundred Riesling and Ehrenfelser Vines being planted on the South facing terraces. The Riesling vines were further extended in 2003. 

Yes. You heard that right. The North Stand at the Wilmersdorf is now a Vineyard. What a Club. What. A. Club.

SC Gatow of Tier 7 Landesliga Berlin 2 opened the scoring on just five minutes. At that moment, the Carrier Bag Firm fully realised that we were in the presence of that glorious, and worldwide, lower league football phenomenon.

The One Man Firm.

SC Gatow. Abbreviated to SCG. Or, as our Ein-Mann-Unternehmen cousin had it.

“Heil. Heil. Ess Say Jay. Heil. Heil. Ess Say Jay.”

Unfortunately, the SG Gatow keeper was fucking hopeless. Walkabouts around his Lebensraum. Trying (and failing) to save everything with his feet. Hopeless.

Charlottenburg-Wilmersdorf equalised on 14. Went ahead on 15. And made it 3-1 on 19. SCG keeper fucking hopeless.

He didn't come out for the second half. Didn't even see him in his trakkie on the bench. Probably fucking redeployed weeding the vineyard. We wished we'd paid more attention. Because we had the distinct impression that Gatow had just put one of the outfield players in goal. Rather than persevere with what I can only hope was a trialist keeper.

Even with that change, Charlottenburg-Wilmersdorf went 4-1 up on 55. But a goal just after that fired the Ein-Mann-Unternehmen up again.

“Olé fur die Ess Say Jay. Olé fur die Ess Say Jay.”

Brilliant. Finished 4-2. Heavens opened. Namby Pamby English Carrier Bag Firm sheltering under trees. German One Man Firm just walking through it all in his t-shirt with a bottle of beer on the go. That's how to fucking live!!!

Das Lemke
S-Bahnbogen 143, Dircksenstraße, 10178 Berlin

That has become a bit of a Horrendous Lemons HQ on this trip to the EURO Final. Despite it not selling Guinness nor conventional British Cider (how do I know these people?). I've been in there on previous trips. And been in some of their other locations. So, I've made a real dent into their beer lists, to up the ticks, and I can press the flesh as well.

After the game this morning, I ordered the 030 Berlin Pale Ale as a Tick. But, when he came with all the beers for the Lemons table, he realised he'd fucked up and brought me the Helles by mistake. (My assumption was - I must have had that already.) But, if he's apologetic, and knows he's got it wrong, I default to;

“No worries. Honest mistake. Shit happens. Give ‘em here.”

Brauerei Lemke, Berliner Perle, Helles on Keg at 4.9%

Once I'd accepted it. I checked the sacred beer lists. And it was a tick after all. Karma that is for not kicking off to the waiter. Fucking Karma. Hops from Hallertau. Maybe grown on an abandoned football terrace. Maybe…

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