Farewells And Hellos

Sheffield United 4 v Preston North End 1 

The Championship 

Saturday 29 April 2023 

SUFC 2022/23 Game #67 

Simple Blog today. Promotion already assured. Relax and enjoy the game. Quietly bristle at all the "fans must stay off the pitch" evangelists. Leave before the celebrations turn into a beautiful baby pageant. Beer on London Road. Inhaling the heady whiff of pyro.

Basham out there for 90. Glorious. Getting forward. Tracking back. Winning headers and tackles. A tricking and a flicking. His Opta Stats say he put the widest fucking smile on my face.

Tommy Doyle out there for 61. Before being subbed for his lap of honour applause. (Berge)

Billy Sharp out there for 61. Before being subbed and getting the tail end of Doyle's clap. (Jebbison)

James McAtee out there for 69. Before being subbed for his lap of honour applause. (Fleck)

Iliman Ndiaye out there for 81. Before being subbed for his standing ovation. (McBurnie)

Daniel Jebbison out there for (the last) 29. Two fucking Assists. Lovely awareness and a bit of swagger to heel it to Fleck for our second, and go ahead, goal on 72. And, Dan shrugging off the wrestling down the right to cut defenders out with a perfect Ili-Assist for the third on 75.

In a bizarre twist, that shows why he's got Championship Striker Skills. Stay on your feet. Push n shove as good as you get. Whatever happens, the ref is letting it all go. If that run of Dan's is in the Premier League, it's heads or tails who the ref gives the inevitable free kick to. See you in August Jebbo. Or Huddersfield away on Thursday!!!!

Two more away games for the First Team. Two games for the U18s/U21s at The Lane this week. And whatever Academy Play Off games we end up with. Played at "available venues". The season is not over. But, let's see what London Road has to offer.

Barry's Bar

96-98 London Rd, Highfield, Sheffield S2 4LR

It lasted two pints of Molson Coors, Madri Excepcional on Keg at 4.6% before Barry had to pull the plug "on advice". I hope he was able to pull more pints later. But, we fucked off into the rain in the absence of beer.

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Come On Every Beer Box

Preston North End 0 v Sheffield United 2 

The Championship 

Saturday 17 September 2022 

SUFC 2022/23 Game #15 

We were whisked off against our will to

Beer Box

Unit 3, 143 Station Rd, Bamber Bridge, Preston PR5 6LA

A great, single room MicroPub. Where, huzzah, they happened to be hosting a Tap Takeover from Rivington Brewing Co, (Rivington is just North of Bolton Wanderers).

There were three Rivington's on Cask (plus two non-Rivos) and two on Keg (plus one non). A great, varied selection.

Rivington Brewing, Fall Out The Sky V4, on Keg at a drinkable 3.6%. 

Looks like a base hazy pale with different versions, different hops. This one was badged as Wakatu, Rakau, Bru-1 & Sabro Cryo. 

Rivington Brewing, Never Known Fog Like It, Hazy NE Pale on Keg at a robust 5.2%

Citra, Mosaic, Simcoe & Chinook. Thick n murky.

(I also had the not pictured Rivington, Clouded Eyes, Pale Ale on Cask at 4.2%. Ekuanot and El Dorado).

A good win in the end. Struggling a bit in the first half to get men on the ball. It's going to be straightforward. Get Ndiaye and Berge on the ball a lot. Win-a-Lot.

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Lose Those Chants

Preston North End 2 v Sheffield United 2 

The Championship 

Tuesday 18 January 2022 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #42 

So. We had the Pro Rape chanting from the Away End tonight. And, I've chosen my words carefully. Those words do not say Pro Rapist. The legal system has Evans as Not Guilty. I couldn't give two fucks about him. But.

"shag your women"

"I'd let you shag my wife"

"he'll shag who he wants"

Pro Rape chants kid. Right there. And if you have to explain "it's just banter" & put an alternative interpretation on 'em, you've lost the argument already. Pro Rape.

#HerGameToo

That was very much a we are where we are game for United. Two up against ten men on just 39 minutes. We tried to look after the game, without looking after the game. Ched undoubtedly made a difference. We were self disrupting. And, it looked inevitable towards the end. PNE equalised at the death. And sent us home thinking Fuck Sake.

In better news, St-Annes-on-the-Sea has significantly upped the drinking game. I've "reviewed";

Fifteens

42 St Anne's Rd W, Lytham Saint Annes FY8 1RF

and

No 10 Ale Bar

10 Park Rd, Lytham Saint Annes FY8 1QX

before. And they have been joined by;

The Hop Shoppe

2, 2a Wood St, Lytham Saint Annes FY8 1QS

Keg n Cask

17 St Andrew's Rd S, Lytham Saint Annes FY8 1SX

ALL, repeat ALL within four minutes walk. And there's a 'spoons an' all. The Hop Shoppe has a bit more of a craft beer bar feel. The Keg n Cask was delightfully Cask heavy. Both essentially micros. But a bit more room than shop front.

The Hop Shoppe

Farm Yard Brew Co. Löf, German style pilsner on Keg at 4.4%

3.5/5

Keg n Cask

Lancaster Brewery, IPA, on Cask at 4.2%

3.5/5

Kirkby Lonsdale Brewery, Ruskin's, English Bitter on Cask at 3.9%

3.5/5

The Carrier Bag Firm also paid a first visit to;

Plug & Taps

32 Lune St, Preston PR1 2NN

A great single room micro pub in Preston. Eight pukka craft kegs & four cask. I went;

Chain House Brewing Co, Waves Crash, Clouds Roll, Pale Ale on Keg at 5%

3.5/5

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Overloaded Inside

Sheffield United 2 v Preston North End 2 

The Championship 

Tuesday 14 September 2021 

SUFC 2021/22 Game #8 

Oddly, I got it a bit there. On a frustrating night. Where United were less fluid & more disjointed than they had been on Saturday. And where an Olsen mistake. And a Jack Robinson mistake had cost us dearly. Oddly, I got it a bit there.

The pfaffing around with the full backs & centre backs hanging around for the ball near the keeper. And not just near him, but very square to him. On 84 minutes, at one all, I got it a bit. You'd have thought Preston would be looking to manage the game and hang on for the point. And United might be reverting to something more direct. Olsen played it short & right. It got knocked back across him short & left. And PNE decided to press it. And press again. I'll be honest, it looked a bit panicky hot potato from United. But, United worked it to wide left Gibbs-White. I was on the halfway line that (John Street) side. I felt I had a perfect view. Because, when MGW knocks it inside, there's space. We're overloaded. We're overloaded in the centre circle. In the centre circle I'm saying. 

And it's the goalie, left back, pfaff that's done that. Oddly, I got it a bit there. I could see it opening up. Minds eye football. By sucking their players into pointless areas, where they don't need to be, in our penalty area, under the Lane End Clock. They're not where they need to be. They're not in the centre circle. Where a great touch from Brewster opens it up for a Fleck ball-at-feet drive. (And have a look at Brewster bursting on ahead of him looking for the ball in a great position). Fleck feeds Sharp. He keeps it alive. There's a bit of a deflection. But, we're still holding an overload. And it's Berge. And he scores.

I am, of course, acutely aware that's Russian Roulette Football for a team like United. Where they're just about as likely to lose it during the goalie, left back, pfaff as create the inside overload. But, in that 84th minute moment, I got it a bit.

Tonight, The Blades came up against a stronger, bigger, physical team. Who were happy to be tight on when needed. Very organised. Preston had come to play their game. And to make sure we couldn't always play ours. Breaking at speed. Not relentless. But flicking the switch enough times to keep worrying us. After the euphoria of the win on Saturday, this is where we are. Not hopeless. But not fully competent. Showing signs of playing purposeful possession football. A bit of confidence. But that confidence being sapped by appalling defensive errors.

Rising Sun, 471 Fulwood Rd, Sheffield S10 3QA

Is also getting back to a bit of form. A few more eager punters scattered about. A total of nine on Cask. Six of their own (counting the Dr Morton's) and three guest.

Abbeydale Brewery, Wanderer Outlaw IPA, New England IPA on Keg at 6%

Allegedly named for Willie Nelson & Outlaw music, loved by the brewer. Who used Willamette & Nelson Sauvin Hops to make Willie Nelson - huzzah.

That was one of those beers that tastes glorious on first slug. Mainly because it's full of flavour. But, you're searching for bits of it further in. Still, absolutely packed full of hops.

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Blades AnAleyTicks

Millwall 2 v Sheffield United 3
The Championship
Saturday 29 September 2018

Sheffield United 3 v Preston North End 2
The Championship
Saturday 22 September 2018

Sheffield United 0 v Birmingham City 0
The Championship
Wednesday 9 September 2018

Yorkshire 184 all out
v Hampshire 79 for 5
close on Day 1
County Championship Division One
Tuesday 18 September 2018
Played at Headingley

SUFC 2018/19 Games 25, 26 & 27

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Lots of people are at it now. At last. Numbers. Statistics. Expected this that other Models. One of my jobs before the Carrier Bag Firm became a profitable going concern involved me calculating the Inflation Price Index for Tristan da Cunha. A remote group of islands in the South Atlantic. You'll hear lots of rhetoric about how official statistics are fixed. Made up even. But, come on, you might not know me from Eve. But who would you really want to be in charge of Retail Price Indices for a South Atlantic Archipelago. Free choice. If ever a job was made for the Carrier Bag Firm, that is it. Hand. In. Glove.

I'm a numbers guy. Everyone's getting an angle. I need one. Welcome to the trial edition of Blades AnAleyTicks. Mate, you've been Punned.

Millwall away. A Saturday. I've looked at the expectations. I've looked at the reality. Poor performance that. Many of the worst aspects of our recent seasons.

The Plan. I collated the Scouting Reports. The maximum number of expected Breweries on the day was EIGHTEEN. Brockley Brewing Co was the last target. But, that closes at 9pm. So, that always looked unlikely. Fourpure Brewing Co is effectively under South Bermondsey station. Opens 11am to 8pm. Under normal circumstances that's very very doable. But, we had to run & re-run the model and check the parameters. Fucking 100% owned by Australian Beverage Bollocks Co, Lion. In turn owned by Kirin. Big. Fucking. Beer. We had 16 others to go at. Big Beer can go to the end of the list. File under - gratuitous pisstake sneer at them Brewery Tick.

That revised our xBT (expected Brewery Ticks) to SIXTEEN. Our actual, final total was a Piss Poor ELEVEN. Just 69% Completion Rate.

What went wrong. Team selection was partly to blame. Two bona fide Carrier Baggers. Plus Two Fellow Travellers on a One Match Trial. One FT can only drink pints. Doesn't like low abv beers. Doesn't like high abv beers. Really only likes dark beers. Finds hopped beers sour (FFS - Amateur Hour). He won't have Tasters. It's beneath him. His eyesight is too poor to read the Beer Blackboards. He can sometimes read pump clips if he gets four inches away from them & squints. And, he won't wear glasses.  So, he'll routinely end up with a beer he didn't ask for & he doesn't really like. He also has very poor BM (Bladder Management). On a run which will often involve portaloos or single, unisex traps.

Because this is a full on AnAleyTicks Blog, it helps to categorise events & personnel. He is a Fucking Liability.

How good was the Plan. Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth. (Quote attributed to Mike Tyson). The first punch was at Anspach & Hobday. The Scouting Report said open at 1030. The sign on the door said 1100. The locked shutters effectively confirmed that. We Recalibrated. The sign on the door at Southwark Brewing also said 1100. But, the second punch in the mouth came fast. Boooom. The staff arrived to open Southwark Brewing up. But, with a big bunch of apparently random keys. And a raft of locks, bolts, padlocks to keep the Bad South Londonarians out. They could not open the doors. (This Blog now pauses while I go for a lie down in a darkened room).

We were told The Florence in Herne Hill no longer had what you would call a recognisable Brew Kit. And. Nail. Coffin. I'd already ordered the beers in Brick Brewery, Peckham Rye before I had a quick shufty at the geography. A quick word with the bar person confirmed. It's not actually a Brewery. When you're Brewery Ticking, that's usually a requirement.

The Positives. Many. We were patient at times. Wait. Wait. Wait. Build again. Aaahhh. They've found the square key for the square lock at Southwark Brewing. And ….. we're in.

We adapted very well in running, as the ticking progressed. Shit. The Florence is not a Brewery any more. Don't worry, we hadn't realised Bullfinch was so close until we spoke to the Brewer at Clarkshaws. Nix The Florence. Hit Bullfinch.

We hit a wall at Gipsy Hill Brewing. That, plus Southey Brewing in Penge would have put us on THIRTEEN. It was already Too Late For Brockley (note to self - possible name for South London musical, something, something, something, Too Late For Brockley, the Songs Of Squeeze - needs work).

The Blackboards at Gipsy Hill were very difficult for any of us to read. I ordered Beatnik. That was off. The female bar person walked away to talk to someone at the end of the bar. The male bar person was engrossed with his phone. Maybe five feet away from me. No amount of “excuse mes” got me anywhere. I was Eleven Breweries in. The clock was ticking. He got the full - OY - treatment. Wouldn't serve us. We needed to wait for his female colleague. While he did Fuck All. I thought, well if he's getting his Social Media in order, so will I. I made to take a picture of the Beer Blackboards for Twitter, Instagram & Untappd. Both of them suddenly got the idea I was taking pictures of them. That should not be a problem anyway. It's 2018 Daddio. I thrust my phone at them offering them a look at the Gallery. Full of pictures of Beer Boards. Empty of pictures of them. They wouldn't have it. And we were asked to leave the broadly empty gaff. Without having a drink. I minced out like a good 'un.

Gipsy Hill can happily have the piss poor, unwelcoming Brewery Tap experience award. I will mention them in my acceptance speech at next year's Beer Geek Awards.

The Best Brewery Of The Day can go to Brew By Nos.

I'm not awarding an Outstanding Beer Of The Day. When you're plotting 18 Breweries, believe me abv matters. I'm awarding a Genre Of The Day & shouting out to all those superb low abv Pales & IPAs. No compromise on flavour.

The Kernel, Table Beer at 2.9%
Southwark Brewing Co, All Day Breakfast at 3.4%
Brew By Nos, 27 01 Double Dry Hopped Table Pale, Eldorado & Citra at 3.5%
Bianca Road, Long Play IPA at 3.6%
Canopy Beer Co, Love Walks Small at 2.9%
Bullfinch, Juno (Amarillo) at 2.8%

Looking at those abvs, it's a surprise we were so hammered that they wouldn't serve us in Gipsy Hill Brewing. (note - we weren't)

Let the record show. 18 in the plan. One off as wouldn't be reached in time. One off as now Big Industrial Chemical Plant Beer. One no longer brewing. One just a bar, not a Brewery. Two nixed in timetable shake up. One added opportunistically. Binned out of one (snigger). One just a Brewery too far.

The Kernel (off sales only - took the cap off & drank it walking to the next one - we are savages), Southwark Brewing, Anspach & Hobday, Brew By Nos, Bianca Road Brew Co, Affinity Brew Co, Spartan Brewery, Partizan Brewing, Clarkshaws Brewing, Canopy Beer Co, Bullfinch Brewery. The First XI.

722/1502

Lack of appreciation

Sheffield United 0 v Preston North End 1

The Championship

Saturday 28 April 2018

SUFC 2017/18 Game 87

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We're fizzling. And, in the direction of out. That was an interesting journey to a “Home” match. Given that I woke up, with the alarm, at 0550, in a hotel in Swansea (U23s in the Premier League Cup the night before).

I ventured to Sentinel for the pre match drink. A long, long time since I was last in. I'll call it as I see it. I had a very nice beer.

Sentinel, ZF, Zest Fest, Zesty Session IPA on keg at 4.5%. Easy drinking, but full of flavour, A nice building & lingering citrus finish. And, it does pack a nice hop kick at the end.

Lap of appreciation at the whistle. No thanks.

650/1348

S4 Bubble Game

Sheffield United U18 1 v Sheffield Wednesday U18 3
U18 Professional Development League 2

Sheffield United 1 v Preston North End 0
FA Cup Round 4

Saturday 27 January 2018

SUFC 2017/18 Games 48 & 49

It’s gone too far now. This you’re The Pigs, no you’re The Pigs rivalry. Do you know what a Bubble Match is? Because I do. A Bubble Match is where, for a variety of reasons, fans have to meet at a pre-arranged rendezvous, away from the ground. At a location set by the Police or other authorities. And, then, having assembled, the fans are all escorted en-masse to the ground & stands. They’re usually deployed to prevent crowd disorder in the streets & towns where the games are being played. They’re often high profile games with the potential for trouble - Leeds v Millwall for eg. Sometimes they’re smaller games - Chester v Wrexham is nearly always a Bubble Match.

Today. For the Sheffield, Steel City Under 18 Derby at Shirecliffe. The Pig v Pig U18 Derby. At a wet n windy Shirecliffe. That was a Bubble Match. Of sorts. For reference - it’s an 11am kick off. I approached the “Top Gate” at about 1030. Steward present.
“You need to go to the Main Gate, I can’t let you in here”
Sigh - trudge, trudge, trudgedy, trudgington - arrive Main Gate
“What are you here for?”
I don’t mind admitting. A number of answers went through my head. In a sense, I was searching for the answer which would give me least hassle.
“Football” - I said. He’s happy & lets me through. I’m now more confused than ever. What answer WOULDN’T have got me in?

I continue The Trudge to the path which leads to the “Top Pitches”, where the U18 games are played. This time, there are THREE Stewards blocking the closed gate.
“You can’t come through here until five to eleven”
“You need to go into reception, wait there, and someone will escort you up”

Now, I’ve had Bollocks at Age Group football before. Got to Watford for the U23s. Told it was Closed Doors - for eg. So, I was intrigued by what was happening. I’m very careful not to dig myself in deeper - I’m often asked if I’m a player’s parent or a Scout. Although those answers would ease passage. They’re lies. And a whole heap of Shit if you get found out. So, I’m always keen to emphasise I’m a Fan, come to watch. That is the card I played with the Three Stewards.
“Five to eleven” - “Go into reception”.

In there, they’ve even got Signs. Alright, they’re impromptu A4 signs run off the printer & blu tacked to the whiteboard. But, signs nevertheless. I should have taken a Photo. Something like…
“All parents must wait in reception until 10:55 when they will be escorted to the pitches”

Bubble. I tell you. 1055 comes. A shout goes up. The Scouts come out of the free tea & coffee room. The Trudge is on….. On reflection. Probably not related to potential crowd violence or synchronised pyrotechnics. But, well, no idea really. Possibly, because “some of the First Team are in”. Possibly because “We’ve got a lot of Scouts today”. At Half Time, one of the Stewards wouldn’t even let the Ref & a Linesman into the “Top Building” so they could have a piss. They’ve had a meeting (obvs). And, this is what they’ve come up with. Classic.

As an aside. Some “Scouts” do come to Shirecliffe in team badged polyester leisurewear. Track suits. Bench coats. You get the picture. Today, there was a guy in the England Gear - even got a Three Lions on his strides. He spent the entire game with an SUFC Coach. I’m surmising he’s watching a Young Blade. The only Young Blade currently involved with the England Groups is goalkeeper Marcus Dewhurst. He is (I understand) U17 qualified. He was selected for an England U17 Squad earlier in the season. In the Summer (May 4-20) England are hosting the UEFA U17 EUROs. Let us hope young Marcus can secure his place in that squad. Although it was ultimately fruitless, Dewhurst did keep Utd in it in the First Half with a great “Spread Save” with the Young Owl clean through. Hope that was noticed….

Of course. Maybe I’ve got it wrong. Maybe the England Scout/Coach was looking at someone else.

Wednesday were the better side. They looked physically stronger. More organised. And had a game plan of sorts. Alright, there wasn’t a great deal in it. But, they were better. That looked a strong side for Utd. A few players who regularly play at U23 level. Including Sam Graham, Will Portman & Jordan Doherty. Plus a few who have featured more infrequently for the U23s. Dewhurst himself, Cameron Hawkes, George Broadbent for eg.

Sam Graham was clearly “up for it” as the modern vernacular would have it. He was loud & proud in organising the defence. But, I felt he did overstep the mark at times. Some of his berating of his team mates bordered on bullying at times. I’m sure he won’t see it that way. And, I know it’s good to be passionate. But, it was unseemly (to me).

He popped up in the box after 13 mins. George Broadbent (I think) took a fairly central free kick & sort of floated it into the area. Graham got a clean and accurate, but not very powerful, header on it & it dropped home. Shortlived. As Satan’s XI were level just 5 minutes later. One of the Wednesday wide men was on his arse all the time. Nobody had told him how wet it is in Sheffield 4. Wrong boots. Anyway. On one of his slipping n sliding forays, he tangled with Graham. Got up. Right boots for stamping on Graham. Which he did. And lo. That was missed by the Ref & Lino. That didn’t improve Graham’s mood any - I am here to testify.

Wednesday caused us problems from corners throughout the game. Great whipped delivery. Get your man free at the front stick. Problems.

After 63 minutes, SWFC took the lead with a superb curling free kick from the edge of the box. Up. Down. In. Superb. Wednesday were the stronger team at that stage. But, we did have our chances. After 75, Jordan Doherty & Simeon Oure combined well down the right. Oure got a shot off - but hit the bar. Three minutes later, Wednesday really put the game to bed. Ky Gordon missed a tackle a long way out, but by a long way. They continued with a nice flowing move, there was a bit of wriggling free & an easy finish.

First Team won. Blog already too long. Buy a paper.
Pennine Brewing Co, Real Blonde on cask at 4%.

600/1257

41 hour trip to The Lane

Sheffield United 1 v Preston North End 3

Tuesday 3 February 2015

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Back in the Saddle. Overblowing it, that was a 41 hour journey to the match. From check out of my Perth hotel to kick off - some sleep on the plane, but no proper bed in that time. Technically the pre-match drink was in The Sail & Anchor in Fremantle in Western Australia.  My opinion is that the Sail & Anchor has gone downhill. They still have bundles of taps, but there is a distinct core range. And, fewer guests to tempt people like me.  I ended up with Mountain Goat Summer Ale on keg at 4.7%.  I searched & searched my lists - but (unbelievably) I’d never had that before. I also had Gage Roads Narrow Neck on keg at 3.9%.  I really enjoyed it as a Session Ale - full of flavour & the abv doesn’t blow your head off.

And to be fair, the Sail & Anchor is still THE place to head for in Perth/Freo.

Concentrated on Coffee & Red Bull immediately before the game. Disappointing exit for Cup Kings Sheffield United. They were in the lead & could have clung on.  In the end, defensive mistakes have cost them. Lots of concentrate on getting out of this poxy leaguers will see the defeat as a blessing in disguise. Sighs.

82/196